A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey,I would like others point of view.My boyfriend lives about 90 mikes away and I see him most weekends. The other day I stayed over his and live about a 20 minute drive from his I currently don't have a car. It was really heavily raining and I didn't have a coat. he would only take me to the train station on route even tho it takes me 1 hour and half to travel home. He wouldn't even take me to another station meaning I could of been home in half hour. I'm so upset about this surely if u really cared u would go out of your way to take your girlfriend hone when its cold and wet if it only added at mist another 30 mins into your journey.so what do you guys think? Am I over reacting or is he being selfish? Thank you. Xxx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (27 September 2012):
 I got a bit confused about the logistics here, does he live 90 miles away from you or 20 minutes drive ? If it is 20 min. by car, how come it is 1.5 hours by train ?...
Never mind. Anyway, I think that yes, he
could have done better ,but you are also overreacting a bit. Men, young men, in particular, tend to be a bit thoughtless and oblivious. If something does not bother them directly, they don't think it can be a BIG bother for other people. Not very pleasant for their companions, but still it's not exactly as if he was saying to himself " Eh, let's get the b...h all cold and wet, who cares even if she gets pneumonia, as long as I don't have to waste one more minute of my precious time ".
It all depends from the context. If this is his normal M.O. ( never giving a f... about your comfort and convenience ) , then you are dating a jerk. If he is reasonably nice and caring overall, and for once he did not put your best interest to the forefront, cut him some slack. Not even mommies can always think what's best for their children !
You've got to ASK for what you want. Maybe even insist. Some time people just will not think by themselves of what could please you, - without necessarily being selfish and mean. Just absent minded. Then, if it's a reasonable request, don't be afraid to ask and to be firm : " It's pouring right now, and I am freezing. I REALLY need you to drive me all the way home ".
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (27 September 2012):
 Are you over reacting?...yes a bit
Should he have taken you home?...yep but maybe he didn't think, Did you ASK him to drive you all the way? Men tend to need direct instructions as some things don't occur to them.
I am always amused at how some women assume their partner 'should' be this or that, 'should' do this and that.
You cannot make someone into something they are not...perhaps he's just a thoughtless person...but YOU choose to be with him, so maybe you have to accept some of his less 'adorable' qualities or at least have a dirsct talk to him about what you find acceptable and what you don't.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (27 September 2012):
 Hi
It depends on his schedule that day, what plans he had in place already. Did he at least lend you a coat or umbrella?
He took you to the station, so at least he didnt make you walk! If he was free all day, yes he could have taken you home,it would have been considerate of him.
Have you told him how you feel, perhaps he's the type who needs direct requests from you?
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