A
male
age
30-35,
*91
writes:I have a pretty odd situation I'm in right now that I'd like some advice on:Basically, I was friends with a girl for about 2 years, she used to have a boyfriend during this period, so it was always friendly chat, I never tried to flirt with her or anything along those lines. Towards the end of these 2 years, she started having problems with her bf and ultimately they ended splitting up, over the period of a couple of months, we started flirting a little and we ended up sleeping together twice.Since then, I've started training for the army, so I'm only home on weekends and we slowly fell out of contact and we haven't spoken now for about 3-4 months and she now also have a boyfriendHowever, she isn't who the question is about lolLast Friday, I was on a night out and was speaking to a girl I know, not really well, but I've spoken to her a few times before and whatnot and thought she was attractive, but this night she was pretty much all over me, holding hands, taking me to sit down and kissing me, all that kinda stuffWe ultimately ended up sleeping together. Now, the problem is, the 2nd girl, is the first girl's sister lolI know, I'm probably going to get some stick for being a bit of a d**k or whatever, I'm not really bothered though as it does seem a pretty bad thing when I take a step back.However, I'd actually like to spend some more time with her and get to know her a little more, that kind of thing. But, I think she's realised what she's done now and feels pretty weird about it.I asked when I can take her out and she replied 'never', but it looked like in a jokingly way, with how it was in the text. And she is a pretty playful person naturally and is joking about a lot and stuffIn my eyes, I'm seeing it as she's weirded out by the whole situation and it's probably better to write this one off, but as I'm actually interested, it'd be nice to hear other people's views on if they think I can come across in a way to talk to her about it, without making it worse? If that makes any sense lolHope that's understandable anyway, I'll try and add in any more detail if that can help.Thanks
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male
reader, N91 +, writes (27 May 2013):
N91 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I'm gonna cut back the contact and just see what happens. Could just end up being an unecessary distraction that I don't need right now, so ill just go with the flow.
Thanks for the help.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (27 May 2013):
 I don't think it would be playing games or be seen as such... You have a legitimate reason, you are training and very busy, ( I guess she knows that ) and it's normal if you don't do spectacular extra efforts to stay in touch...with someone who's not too responsive.
Next time you contact her , though, why don't you call her rather than texting ? it's more "personal" and it tells you more about the interest of the person. In this overtexted era :) some people comes to feel as if they HAVE to answer texts , regardless, it's a sort of an authomatic thing to do - and also flat out not responding is seen as rude, hostile, aggressive etc. So, they won't particulare care about hearing from you and they'll keep forever texting one word" answers :." yeah ", " Nice " , "hi " ...
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (26 May 2013):
N91 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnother thing that's annoying me a little about texting is that its hard to tell whether people text everyone in a certain way or whether its just you.
I'm only getting really short responses and making most of the conversation, but I've dealt with girls like that before who've shown interest in me.
I've got some pretty busy training this week, so I'm thinking I might just not text her until I'm back home this weekend.
Do you think that'd be a good idea to see if she contacts me? Or would just look like mind game sorta tactics?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (26 May 2013):
Yes, I think too that if it was a flat out, never again NO, she would not stay in touch and would not reply texts.
I guess she is a bit on the fence on this, half interested half weirded out . Not by what her sis did, or by what you did with the sis- by what herself did. She might have broken her own " code " , in a way.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (26 May 2013):
N91 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for that input cerberus, that's how I was thinking about it in the first place, that I was never with girl no1, it was just nsa sex basically and now she also has a bf, I was just thinking that it can't really bother her as we don't even speak anymore either!
Imo, I want to keep going with this one as she's a nice girl and I like her personality, but there's just a little odd feeling around it, like I said, maybe I'm just overthinking. I just don't know how to approach asking her out again after what happened the first time.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (26 May 2013):
N91 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHahaha that made me laugh cindy. Yeah it was just one of those things that happen on a night out lol
We had both been drinking and there was obviously a physical attraction and it just went from there I suppose lol
We're still texting now, but its hard to gauge what's going on, or if this is going anywhere. I went out on friday and we spoke there again a little and shared a taxi home, but nothing happened.
I mean, I asked her out, she said no basically, but I don't know whether that was in a joking way or not? But like I said, we're still in contact, so if she wasn't interested, wouldn't you have thought communication would've just dropped?
I always overthink things when I get speaking to girls that I could become interested in lol I think I mess most of these chances up myself tbh
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2013): I don't see any issue here N91, don't assume there's an issue in anything more than her being weirded out about her drunken one night stand with you.
Very few women can so easily brush off what was most likely a fairly over the top, public, drunken hook up.
What you're probably dealing with is more that than the sister thing.
Trust me, I've shared many sisters. Even shagged a girls sister in the kitchen after she'd fallen asleep in the bed, so yeah I'm no angel myself.
Keep going with the one you like, I see no reason why you wouldn't. It's up to her to protect her sister's feelings if that's going to be an issue, just assume it's not but do understand that the embarrassment factor of being hilariously drunk and so publicly sexual with you is something you're up against a bit here. Unless she's one of those rare girls who doesn't give a damn about that kind of thing.
Go for it, what have you to lose? You've done nothing wrong N91, you owe neither woman loyalty sexually. If there's going to be any kind of issue in that sense it's up to them to sort out.
Go for it, you have nothing to lose whatsoever. If she rejects you then you're still in the same situation as if you never tried. May aswell take the risk.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (26 May 2013):
N 91 !! I am speechless . Is this you or your evil twin ? Where's the angelic, romantic,sensitive young Uncle that we all used to know in the past ? This is as if IAmHereToHelpYou announced that she is going to work as a stripper in Las Vegas !
Jokes aside , maybe I'd give this a miss. I think it's normal that the second girl feels uncomfortable and weirded out , even if she knew you had been with her sister, and if her sister was not your gf. This is slightly yucky per se,don't ask me why because I would not know how to explain, but obviously the second girl feels it too, she let her hormons take over , and then she felt ashamed about it. I guess it depends, SOME close friends, and even sisters, swap men as if they were clothing items, and even compare notes , without embarassment, but generally, how you realize, it's not the best idea. What with the fact that you are leaving soon , I guess, so this thing does not have great chances to become anything important to either parties... I think you'll do fine also turning your attentions to another girl ( Possibly, an only child ? :))
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2013): Honey- I vote on this one. You sleeping with both sisters complicates things way too much- imagine the jealousy if sister # 2 ended up as your girlfriend. It's not worth it- the future heartache. There are loads of girls out there. wear a condom always!
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (26 May 2013):
N91 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust to clarify, the first girl WAS NOT my girlfriend.
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