A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend split up with me in February, because "he didn't love me anymore and the spark wasn't there".. He has been sleeping with ALOT of girls, and drinking ALOT! I have been sleeping with him still, but now I'm starting to get jealous and have realised I'm just a booty call, however I can't seem to let him go.. I know I messed up at the start of the break up still sleeping with him, he can say jump and I'll say how high, I know it's wrong but I can't let him go.. He still talks to me, but a lot of my friends have said he is just using me. I don't know why to do can you please help?
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booty call, jealous, my ex, spark, split up Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (22 June 2014):
 I so agree with Cerberus here.
You know what to do.
You know your friends are right.
YOU keep bedding him because you WANT/HOPE/WISH that he will want you back. He doesn't. Why should he bother dating you again when he can avoid commitment, real intimacy, caring, EFFORT and STILL get laid?
I want to bet if you STOPPED having sex he would STOP showing up, stop calling, he would vanish.
But I also bet, that you aren't ready to DO the work in cutting him out of your life, because you "think" it's better to have a guy treat you like a booty call then NO guy at all.
Stop playing the "victim" here, you CHOOSE to have sex with him knowing all he wants is some FREE uncomplicated SEX.
It's not HARD to BLOCK his number, DELETE his number, REMOVE him and BLOCK him from ALL and ANY social website.
If you DO NOT want to be used, then tell him to go kick rock.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (22 June 2014):
 If you'd like to rescue a bit of your self-respect... listen to your friends. Who wants to be someone's "booty call"? It's de-humanizing and demeaning.....
Good luck...
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (22 June 2014):
You're still with him because you hope he'll choose you and return. Well, he had that chance and he obviously is not choosing you. No big deal, he wasn't right for you anyways.
So, realize that he won't choose you, now or later, and that even if he did choose you it wouldn't be the best thing for you. When you realize that you can "quit" him and find someone who cares about you and who you're compatible with.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (22 June 2014):
 Your friends are crrect..cut and run and grow some self respect.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (22 June 2014):
 Simple. Cut contact
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2014): OP you know what's happening, you know what you have to do but you're not willing to do it and protect yourself emotionally so there's nothing we can say.
We can't help someone who won't help themselves, OP.
So either quit being his meat puppet or, and no offence, stop complaining about it.
You can change this situation if you don't like it, if you refuse to change it then you don't get to moan about it either.
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A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (22 June 2014):
 You have made the big mistake of allowing this guy to both dump you and still use you for sex when he wants it. He gets the best of both worlds, you get used. Plus your health is at risk as he is sleeping around.
He has taken advantage of the fact that you are too keen to try to be with him that you will put up with the scraps he is tossing you.
Ditch this user and find someone who doesn't DUMP you and then expect you to wait around as his play thing as and when it suits him. He is obviously just using you!
Mark
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