A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My friend has just asked me to go to his for pizza and moies and it started out as a friend thing but now he's told me he wants it to be like a date as he really likes me. I used to really quite fancy him but now I'm not sure and I don't want to lead him on, how should I go about it? I've talked to him about liking other guys and he's done the same to me about girls he likes as we're quite good friends and talk nearly everyday. Thanks guys :) Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (6 December 2013):
 You say you're unsure, maybe give it a chance? If it doesn't change your opinion, then you know not to go down that route.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 December 2013):
 you go out and you have a date and see how it goes.
if you can talk to him about almost anything, then that's actually the best start to a good relationship.
I'd rather be with someone I can never stop talking to and WANT to be with rather than someone I think is Pretty....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2013): Go , if there's chemistry then brilliant, if there isn't nevermind. Just you'll never know if you don't try. Oh and don't have to do anything on a first date, don't be pressured to kiss or anything if you're not feeling it
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A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (4 December 2013):
 ...and he wants this first "date" to take place at his house?
Even if you did 100% like him in that way, I would be very cautious. Guys who invite girls home with them very early in the dating game are typically looking for sex (and often *only* sex.) In your case it's a little more complicated because this guy isn't a stranger to you. Maybe he really is used to hanging out with you as friends and it hasn't occurred to him that his idea of a first date might sound a little off. Without knowing more about your friendship it's really hard to say.
I'd give him the benefit of the doubt BUT suggest to him that if he wants to date you, you'd enjoy a proper first date like dinner out or a movie in the theater. Assuming you're interested, that is.
To answer your original question - in my opinion it's not leading him on if you go on a couple dates with him and see if there's chemistry between you. He's brought romantic feelings into your friendship (and expressed those feelings to you) so if you end up turning him down things are likely to be awkward for a little while, whether you do it now or a few weeks from now.
If you feel something for him, no harm in accepting; if you don't, politely decline the date and give him a little space to get over it. Good luck and best wishes :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2013): Just go out with him.
You don't have to tell him.
Just because its a date in his eyes, it doesn't mean your required to sleep w/him.
Just have fun and see where it goes.
If its not working romantically, that's fine at least you win a friend. After the date kiss him goodbye and say good night PAL.
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