A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:All of a sudden he started texting me again after being distant for months. Here is a little of history: We became friends very fast around this time last year (we had a lot in common) and we hang out a lot (I fell in love with him). Then one day he asked me if he could kiss me and I said yes (he asked before kissing me because he knew I had never been with anyone before so he didn't want to scare me off). We started dating but he always said he was not looking for serious relationship and he said I am amazing but he was not in love with me, just attracted and he wished he fell in love. At the same time he would talk about getting married and how many kids he would want to have with me. It seemed to me that I was only a game for him because he wanted to move too fast and I felt he wanted to be fwb with me instead of being serious about me. When I told him this, he said it's not so and asked me to be his girlfriend but that didn't stop me of worrying because he did and said stuff that were screaming into my face that he didn't really care (like calling his ex of 5 years who cheated on him his girlfriend. When we were only friends he did tell me that he loved his ex more than anything and thought he would never love anyone again). So eventually I asked him to go back to being only friends but I still loved him. After that we still hung out a lot, the texting became less though, and after awhile he did suggest me to be his fwb and I told him I don't want that. I still went out with him as friends. Btw I am a virgin and he knew it and he also knew that I am saving myself for the one who'll really love and appreciate me for who I am.Then around August I left to another state for a school project for 10 days and when I came back he became more distant and we have only met twice during these whole time and both of the times with common friends. During these whole time he would text once in awhile and a lot of times take a day or days to answer to my replies (he was not busy because he would be on Facebook all the time). And once when he texted, I was missing him so much, that I told I missed him, then he answered 4 days later that 'he missed me too regardless of what happened between us'. With all these being said the two times we met after my trip he still flirted with me, and he buys electronic music concert tickets for us which usually start pretty late and every time I don't go because my parents are strict and I am supposed to be home at night. There is one coming up in April And now suddenly at the beginning of February he texted 'Hi, how are you'. I didn't answer and didn't want to because I was too hurt and tired the way he treated me, like a last choice. Also I was busy and needed to concentrate in my school and didn't need more pain in my life. Then two days later he texted 'Hi, I didn't answer, then the next day again 'hello', Finally I answered back, we texted that whole day, during the night as well, then he fell asleep, and the next day I wasn't expecting but he texted 'he is sorry, he fell asleep', he apologized again the next day when he fell asleep. And that was weird, because the only time he ever apologized for not texting back was when we were dating, and then after we went back to being friends, like I said it would take him days to answer a simple text or sometimes not even answer, and I was not the one to even initiate the text. Then recently he revised my essay, and he spent 4 hours of his night to check it for me, from midnight till 4am. And he did an amazing job with it and when I asked him what inspired him to put so much passion in it (it was a science/math essay), I asked whether it was his love towards science, he said no, he said that knowing how much I loved math/science he just did it. Then I promised him a candy as a thank you, he suggested to meet up, but then we didn't, he got busy with school, which was good for me because I was busy and didn't know how to tell him I couldn't make it. Then he texted again asking about my school and there is another trance DJ coming, we both like his music. I am pretty sure he wants to go with me.So I really don't understand, why he all of a sudden started texting again and he does flirt frequently. I made up my mind that I should move on and try to forget him, but I can't when he is doing this to me. Is he just playing with me because I don't believe that he might develop feelings for me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (3 March 2014):
 He has already told you that he doesn't love you and it doesn't sound like a relationship for you guys is likely at all.
If I were in your shoes I would cut contact because you like him more than a friend and he doesn't reciprocate that feeling.
The longer you stay in touch, the more you will hurt.
A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit +, writes (2 March 2014):
 This guy loves the thrill of the chase and he sees you as a sexual challenge.
He's ignored you for ages but he only has to text you a couple of times and start communicating again.
He loves your naivety and innocence but I truly believe he's playing games with you.
He wants to win you over and sleep with you, you are a conquest in his eyes.
As Aunty BimBim says, give him a wide berth and stop talking to him.
I wish you well and hope this helps AB x
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (2 March 2014):
 He is still looking for sex, and is hoping you might come around to the idea.
Give him a wide berth, there is nothing there for you.
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