A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I'm in love with my best friend at college. He's not your average stud bit of a stoner, very clever and it nerdy but probably THE funniest guy I have ever met, I could be having a really shit time and I'd talk to him for like 2 minutes and he puts a smile on my face or laughing till my stomach hurts. But he doesn't feel the same way. We were at a party the other day both completely high as a kite, I saw one of his school friends chatting to him and looking towards me as they did and he was shaking his head, his friend then tried to get with me all weekend I concluded he ask my best mate if he liked me and must have said no as he wouldn't have hit on me if so. Now I'm completely heart broken. People keep saying how we suit each other so well. But its clearly not going to happen. I need to know how to get over him, I can't talk to other guys or give them a chance or even just a casual one night stand because I'm constantly thinking of my best friend. I'm enthralled. It's actually making me depressed I can't sleep its stupid! Never ever thought I'd like a guy like this and I hope I never do if he doesn't feel the same way back. How do Get over him? How do I make sure my feelings don't become too obvious or ruin our brilliant friendship?
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best friend, depressed, one night stand Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (2 March 2017):
 Why not ask him? He could have nodded his head for 1000 reasons.
A
female
reader, Campari Milano +, writes (26 February 2017):
Firstly, casual one night stands are one thing, but do not try for them!ESpecially as a means to get over someone else, you only end up feeling more s**t!Try and imagine what it looks like from the outside. There is nothing less attractive to a guy than a girl who moons all over him; just wants to be around him because his mere presence is like heavenly rays!I know it hurts, and I know it's hard, but if you can, still be mates, but put some distance between you; he might even miss you!You'd be surprised how much men change their minds when you change the status quo!And if he doesn't fancy you after that, you'll probably have been so busy trying to find reasons not to like him, that you actually won't!You are right to stay away from relationships, beacause when the right one happens, you won't be able to say no, or stay away, or stop it, and neither will HE!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2017): NO CONTACT is the only way.
It may seem harsh but the more you see him, the more you will be hurt. The more you see him, the more you will hope. The more you see him, the more you will love him.
It will be like rubbing alcohol in a wound every single time you are near him.
Why do that to yourself? Why suffer like this everyday?
Sometimes when we love someone we have to set them free. Because WE LOVE OURSELVES MORE.
Love yourself more. Do what is right for you. Set him free sweetie. You will someday no longer feel the pain. You will someday meet a guy who returns your affection. Someday you will have a smile back on your face.
That day is not today or tomorrow but that day will come.
Be kind to yourself.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (24 February 2017):
 Given how much you have to lose and gain in this situation, I think you can't assume anything. You don't know what their conversation was about. You ASSUME you did. Perhaps your friend thinks YOU are not into HIM, hence giving his mate the green light to chat you up?
It has to be worth a shot, doesn't it? Don't come on all heavy but just say something like "I value our friendship greatly but I do sometimes wonder if we could have more. What's your view on that?" Then listen to what he has to say.
I hope you get the answer you want. If not, then I think you need to put some distance between you so that you can get over him and find someone who can give you not only the friendship but also more.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (24 February 2017):
 As long as you're friends you will not get over him. If I were you I'd just tell him that you need to back away from him for a while as you've developed feelings for him.
This way he doesn't think you're being off with him and it also may make you feel a little better getting it off your chest.
Then you need to concentrate on other friends, hobbies and college to keep your mind occupied. It will be hard but you will get there.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2017): 'I can't even give other guys a casual one night stand' WTF?? You give your body out so easily? You respect yourself such a small amount that you think of a man getting this intimate with you as being 'just'?
Maybe respect yourself more and this guy will look at you differently.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (23 February 2017):
 OP, please stop taking drugs and considering one night stands - both are reckless, irresponsible and damaging, especially at such a young age.
As for him, rebounding won't help. Understand that you can do better and the crush will fade, but you'll need to reduce your contact with him.
Is it possible he's led you on by being flirty or physically close?
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