A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I stop at this petrol station sometimes. The past two, three times there's been a nice young girl there, and as at the times I go there it's not that busy, we have a chat.Somehow we got on to the topic of massages. I said that my massages may be soothing and relaxing, but by no means am I a professional massuer.During our discussion I casually asked her "maybe I should give you a massage?". To which she responded "what, right here?". I was too slow and later I realised this could have been an invitation. Do you think this showed her interest in me? I doubt any girl would take up an offer of massage from a strange guy if they were not attracted to them. And saying what she said sounds like she's interested if I invite her to an appropriate place ( not her public work place).Do you people think so, or am I just building up my hopes? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 March 2017):
 If I was this girl and you asked me to go somewhere private with you I would run a mile and never use that petrol station again.
A
female
reader, Campari Milano  +, writes (6 March 2017):
You are creepy. She doesn't want a massage from you. If a girl is interested, you know. They make it clear. Stop offering people massages in petrol stations. Please.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (4 March 2017):
 Yeah I don't think that meant interest, more like wtf.
If you want to find out if she's keen, ask her out instead of offering massages to strangers.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 March 2017):
 It sounds to me as if she was just surprised, taken aback. She could not believe her ears, - she gave you a polite version of " WTF ??" .
Normally a guy would not offer , out of the blue, to put his hands on and manipulate physically a girl he does not know from Adam, just based on having exchanged a few words in her workplace. Maybe it sounded like a smooth move to you, but.... it's kind of creepy, instead. Maybe even scary.
If you like her,forget about inventive pick up lines- just ask her out for a drink or a meal. Although, tbh, there's never a second chance to make a great first impression, so I think that the odds of her accepting aren't huge...
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (3 March 2017):
 Woah! Seriously?
If you are free, is there any reason you can't ask her out for a drink? I think offering to give a massage to a young lady you don't know is inappropriate at best - except in a jokey flirty manner. Hopefully that is all she took it as.
If she accepts your offer, then you can go from there and, in time, if the relationship develops or if she asks, offer her a massage.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2017): I guess you somehow sneaked massage into the conversation and I'm sure that did not sound casual but like a cheesy pick up line. She may have been zapped by your statement and the first word that came to her was "what!?" then she politely finished it as "right here"You are watching too much porn. Meeting a stranger, having a small chat, heading to a room. Start with massage, happy ending! Your mind is delusional enough to consider that an invitation. You think you were slow and did not understand geez! You understood that she was taken aback but went home to fantasize and rethink her words to be an invitation. That is what happened. I just hate men who consider anything as an invitation. Even if all she wanted was sex, she would want to know you before anything happens. That's risky.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2017): My friend, there are cheesy pickup lines; and there's a better approach to get a woman to like you. Putting your hands on a lady you just met is crossing the line, and your conversation was inappropriate to start with.
What makes you think she would have allowed you to do it? She was surprised that you brought up the subject so boldly when you hardly know her. A few chats doesn't give you the green-light; nor is it any confirmation she was even considering your offer.
I think you should take a more respectful approach, and keep your hands to yourself; until you've courted the young lady like a gent. Ask her out for a meal or take her to coffee.
Get to know her, and allow her to get to know you. Let things happen naturally and in proper order. For all you know, the minute you approached her; she might have hit the panic-button beneath the counter and alerted the police.
Such suggestive-talk can also alert a woman that you have bad intentions. Perhaps this young lady was somewhat naive; but you don't know that for sure. It was by no means permission nor an invitation simply asking you to confirm what you just said. She simply didn't want to read you wrong.
Allow time and a more respectful approach to gain you rewards. Don't go for the gold right off the top. You will most likely take it and run. Pawing all over some lady you hardly know only defines you as a creep and a player. Being slick and clever is the lowest of the low.
Seduction by "slight of hand" will never really tell you if she likes you or not. It might be a good approach if all you need is a one night stand. It can also set you up for charges of sexual-assault and illicit behavior.
Offering a massage to a woman you really don't know is risky business, my friend.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (3 March 2017):
 Don't be creepy.
Offering a girl a massage when she is at work and a TOTAL stranger to you - it's CREEPY.
Her response was that of disbelief:" it's a joke, right? You got to be kidding me with that sleazy pick-up line, right?"
How about if you want to get to know her you stick to subjects that aren't a little weird for strangers to talk about and offer. Weather, movies, books, sports, food or whatnot.
What's next? Are you going to offer her a breast exam? To make "sure" she doesn't have any lumps?
Seriously, dude, you are WAY off your game if you think the "massage thing" was appropriate!
If she has complained about a sore back, it COULD have been done as a "jest" - but to mean it seriously? No No No.
And to think that she would say SURE and go somewhere PRIVATE with you? A TOTAL stranger for a MASSAGE? Where is your sense of logic or... common sense?
This is NOT how you get to know a girl. This is how you make a girl AVOID you.
Doesn't matter that you twp have chatted previously, think about it - chatting to customers is part of her job.
You could give her your number and tell her to give you a text/call if she wants to go for coffee one day. IF she text/call - meet her for coffee and again DON'T be creepy. If she doesn't - don't PRESSURE for an answer as to why, because you will know that IS she doesn't... she isn't interested.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (2 March 2017):
 "During our discussion I casually asked her "maybe I should give you a massage?". To which she responded "what, right here?". I was too slow and later I realised this could have been an invitation" - I'm a little worried you don't realise how creepy that sounds.... you barely know her and you offer a massage.How young is she compared to you? If it looks like more than 5 years, give up.What you said was inappropriate and too forward. Her response did not sound like an invitation, but shock that you'd suggested it.I understand you didn't mean to come across like you did, but it's really quite unnerving. If she has any sense, she wouldn't go anywhere alone with a stranger for a massage - they're saved for professional massage parlours and in relationships, not customers at work that she doesn't know.If you want to, ask her out, but massages are not things you should be talking about or offering until you've been dating someone for a while.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (2 March 2017):
 To me, her comment indicates she was surprised by you pushing the massage thing. As in, that was a freaky and kind of inappropriate overture to a young girl.
A guy who brings up massage after a couple of visits to the petrol station she works in is likely coming across as a creep....
Any reason you didn't just ask her out on a regular date type thing?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2017): It's incredibly unlikely that she will go to some private place with a stranger so he can give her a massage. You do realise that as women we have to keep safety in mind? It is drummed into us from puberty about never being on your own with a strange man, always let someone know where you are if you meet a man for the first time, always meet in a public place etc etc. How likely is it therefore that she will be willing to accept an invitation from a virtual stranger to go somewhere private and engage in an activity that is often a prelude to sex?I wish men would imagine what it is like being a woman in this world, knowing that men want sex and that they are bigger and stronger than us and that if we put ourselves into a vulnerable situation, something really awful could happen? I imagine she said 'what right here?' NOT as an invitation, but as something to say. It's a way of making a bit of a joke, it's a way of saying, 'of course not!' because 'right here' (at her work) is obviously not going to happen. That's how I have meant it when I have said exactly that myself. She might like you, but I would 100% recommend that you lay off talk about anything intimate and ask her for a coffee in a public place, meeting her there. As I have said but cannot say often enough, us women have to be extremely careful about not putting ourselves in situations that make us vulnerable to attack. You may not be thinking that way, but believe me, there are many men who are, so be thoughtful about that when next talking to women you hardly know about massages.
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