A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Aunts,This isn't a major issue. The thing is, I have half a mind to block my ex on facebook. Because I hate him so much and would like to erase from my mind I had him in my life. I'm happy and single now but sometimes I feel very angry when it crosses my mind how he emotionally abused me (it was a very prolonged, well planned and of a mentally deluding type). I was also very young when he started on it and got me hooked through the abuse and manipulations. So I feel like deleting him off to show him and everybody else how much I want to be away from him. It annoys me when my friends who are on his friends list like his pictures or that people think I am cordial with him because he's still on my friend's list! I want everybody to know I am no more cordial with that jerk. It's like wanting to hit an extra point when you're going to win anyway. I feel highly liberated and happy without him in my life. He has the audacity to wish me on women's day, while he's a womanizer and a MCP. The only reason I haven't removed him is that since he's not mentally normal (abuser, sadist), I'm afraid that such an ego wound like blocking or deleting him on fb will make him vengeful. He may try to sabotage my future marriage or my reputation in the society?I'm hoping he'd settle down soon (through arranged marriage) so he wouldn't be bothered about my future relationship/marriage. When would be the right time to block him on social media? I don't want him to be able to get in touch with my future bf/husband if he wants to! I have maintained not coming across as being ugly or nasty to him for this sake only. To not trigger the psycho side of him.
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facebook, my ex, womaniser Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (12 March 2017):
 This second?
Just do it, remove him from your life.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (11 March 2017):
If you REALLY think he would act in a vengeful manner with you - HIDE his feeds and downgrade him to an acquaintance (he can't see that) and then UP all your security setting so that none but FRIENDS can see your stuff.
OR
Block him now, remove, unfriend - GET it over with. The sooner you remove him from ALL of your life - the sooner you can move on and stop wasting time, energy and emotions on him (and yes YOU are wasting emotions "hating" him - that means you are STILL letting him roam your head and heart).
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2017): Delete him today and let him go psycho!
You are under no obligation to have any further contact.
If people ask you why just say "he's a big boy now!"
Future husbands will be glad that he is demoted.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (11 March 2017):
 Just block him and move on. Don't tell him, don't tell others. You're not over him because you're over-analysing all of this. Don't have any more contact with him unless you bump into him in person, then be civil, but that's it.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (11 March 2017):
 Don't fall into the trap of thinking Facebook is important. It isn't. It only matters if you let it become important in your life.
Have you heard, some people don't use FB. Some people don't even have a smart phone. Inexplicable they seem to manage quite well.
So in answer to your question, it really doesn't matter.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (11 March 2017):
 The opposite of love is indifference, not hate. You have still not reached that point so you are still not really "over" your ex. The fact that you are giving so much thought to how much you want this "extra point" also tells me you are not really over him. You are trying too hard to show how over him you are.
The best way you can show people you are over him - which seems to be important to you - without antagonising him, is to be indifferent to him. Deleting/blocking him will just give the opposite impression. If he messages you, you can choose to ignore or just be civil and, if he wishes you happy whatever day, say thank you and leave it at that.
I do hope you get over him one day. Don't allow his past abuse to define your future happiness.
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