A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, I literally just got my results of my exams today and unfortunately i did not make the requirements of the universities i have chosen. I fell a little short of the requirements so its not too bad. The problem is, both unis actually asked for quite different requirements which for me, I qualify half of the conditions of these two unis. As a result, I am emailing them to ask them to reconsider my applications. However, I am actually devastated at myself. I honestly like tried my very best and threw myself into studying and doing what i can do to well. I even like ignored all my social medias and deleted them so that i dont get distracted and literally all i did was go to class and get back home and continue revising and all. I just feel like no matter how hard i try, i dont get the desired outcome. There is some hope that i'll get into my uni but I just feel so disappointed with myself. And i don't know how to break the news to my parents. They spent so much money for me to study abroad and I didnt do well. I am actually so discouraged and devastated with myself like i dont even know how to react or feel at this point. All im doing is like questioning what the heck am i gonna do with my life if I suck so bad academic wise. (The uni requirement was 70% overall and 70% in mathematics, I got over 70 for math but my overall was 60) so I'm not too bad but somehow i just lost all hope for myself. THere are other ways of getting into a uni but that'll be dealt with after the unis reply me. But WHat should I do now? how do i tell my parents? like my parents and I had such high hopes and all and I really did my best at that time. And unfortunately, the exam does not give the option of a re-mark or a re-sit unless you fail but i did not fail any papers. I actually attained a merit which isnt bad but it didnt meet the requirements. Please give me some advice of how to deal with this situation. Like i really feel so depressed.Sorry for the ramble.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2017): I am a university lecturer in a leading UK university and I have several friends who are lecturers and some of whom are programme leaders who become involved in re-considering applications from students who have not made their expected grades.
A lot will depend on how many places the other students have taken up. You'd be surprised at how many students changed their minds and decide not to take a place. I know this might not be the way that you are thinking of this BUT universities are, essentially, businesses - they have to get a certain amount of students in each year to fulfil the criteria needed to get income from the government so that they can run the university. This income is added to the student fees and this is what allows the uni. to run.
This year and last year, universities have been bending over backwards to try to ensure they will get enough applications and, therefore, enough funding. Many universities will focus on international students because they pay higher fees, but a lot of universities don't expect a big international intake.
If your chosen universities still don't want you to attend, please try not to take this to heart. Bear in mind what I am saying about the business-side of it and go through clearing. My friends who operate the phones on clearing days are under a lot of pressure, usually, to take people. There is a lot of flexibility. Once you get into a university, even if it is on a course that you are not quite happy with as your first choice, you can apply to transfer to a different course after a year and/or apply to transfer to a different university.
Please also bear in mind that very many universities are not what they seem in the brochures or from the open days - some are worse and some are actually fantastic places. Be open minded. It is highly likely there is a university out there that will want you and will understand that you really want to pursue your education. At the moment, it will seem to you like there is a big barrier between 'not getting in' and 'getting in' and you will feel like a failure and confused and rejected. Universities usually will do the best that they can to help you because they need to do this - yes, they need to do it for business reasons BUT most universities have staff who genuinely do care about their students' educations. We really do go way beyond our paid hours to help students and we do understand how daunting it can seem when things don't quite work out as planned. Don't give in. When you talk to staff at the universities be honest and transparent - say you've worked hard and have disciplined yourself and feel disappointed but you are determined to try to move forward. Try really hard not to be negative or self-pitying - you need to show as much maturity as you can and have a really good attitude to overcoming this setback - that will give you a much better chance of getting a place.
Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2017): Sweetheart, if your parents know how hard you've been working all this time. Trust me, they will understand.
They love you; and will share your disappointment, but they will not blame you. Getting into a good college is very tough, and it is highly competitive. They have thousands of students vying for spots, but for a limited number of openings. I bet your parents have experienced the same as you have! They are very proud of you nonetheless! They're lucky to have a daughter so ambitious and willing to please them! You must be a total delight! You know you worked really hard!
Please don't be too hard on yourself, sweetheart! I didn't get into my first choice of schools; but the college that did accept me turned out to more than I could ever hope for. I made life-long friends, and had some great professors.
I hope you have applied to a number of schools; and will accept the best of whomever did accept you. You know that you gave it your all, but can go only as far as your limitations allow. Falling short is no sign of failure, my dear. It's okay to set your goals and expectations high; but be realistic if they're too high to reach. Failure is to stop trying!
I know in some cultures, traditional families set very high expectations; as would wealthy, or upper-class families of higher financial means. That's a lot of undue pressure on a kid to excel. I hope that isn't your case.
I wanted to make sure I got into a fancy school out-of-state and far from home. I didn't get picked by any of them; so I joined the Air Force. While serving, I tried again; and got accepted at a most wonderful and prestigious school. It wasn't my first choice; but looking back, it's like God knew what was better for me.
Your parents love you far too much to be disappointed in you. They will reassure you and make you feel better. I now they will know the right things to say. So don't be ashamed or too disappointed.
Everyone can't get into the Ivy League or prestigious schools. There are thousands from around the world that are competing with you; and even some more local and less prestigious schools may be overloaded with applicants.
I know people who attended Harvard and Yale, and they don't earn much more than the rest of us who earned our degrees at lesser prestigious colleges. They have their bragging-rights, so be it. That doesn't make us any less intelligent than they are; but don't try telling them that!
Excellent students who do get accepted, may still fail or drop-out. That's life. Studies and investigations have found that many applicants have cheated on their tests; or their parents may have pulled strings to get them in. Never let that defeat nor discourage you.
Tell your parents. Keep working hard, my dear! Go to the school that has accepted you, and continue to do your best!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2017): the subject you have studied is far more important than which university you attend. So don't worry if you end up going to a different university than you originally planned. If you can also get some work experience while you are at uni that will put you at a big advantage when you finish. Im sure your parents won't bat an eyelid.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (14 June 2017):
 Your parents will not be disappointed in you.
They know how hard you have tried for this, but sometimes life doesn't give you what you want and there's nothing you can do besides suck it up.
You're very young and you have the best years ahead of you, don't let this bog you down, there are other avenues you can take in life, I had no idea what I wanted to do at your age and ended up taking up some jobs that I absolutely despised with a passion, joined the army and now have finished with an apprenticeship which is a job for the rest of my life.
Don't give up, keep this determination going and there will be other unis you can apply for if your chosen ones won't reconsider. I'd highly recommend looking into apprenticeships also, you can find some really good ones if in a variety of different fields if you have a good luck.
But on the whole, your parents will be proud of you no matter what as long as they know you've tried your best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2017): Yes your best bet is to contact the unis directly and start negotiating!
You are so close to the !mark and people drop out and change their minds and hold onto places as backup in case they dont get their first choice so it is all very fluid right at this moment!
Contact the head of department by name in your emails and dont be too bland in it but assert your interest in their course!
Did you visit the unis and meet any lecturers for your faculty?
Be factual and not too emotional.
Remember that you would be fee paying so you are a valuable asset.
Ask if you can defer if there are no places available this year and see if they have recommendations for a gap year that are relevant to your projected future interests and studies!
Remember its early days and the disappointment of grades is often something of a minor organisational headache but no big deal in the long run!
If you get the gap year it may even end up as a blessing in disguise after all that highbrow effort youve put into it!
If you must go the extra mile find out which research projects your intended future proffessors got published and read at least a resume of the content.
Even a glimpse at the chapter titles place you higher on the academically interesting ladder.
More so than someone who cries and begs because you will seem resilient,mature and interested.
Plus you will already know more than most about the direction your department wants to take their degree course in!
Try it and see!
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (14 June 2017):
 People who do well at GCSEs don't necessarily do well at A level. Those who do well at A level don't always do well at uni'. And those who do well at uni don't necessarily do well in life.Here are a few people who couldn't cut it in education: Sir Richard Branson: Sir Alan Sugar – His companies are Amstrad and Amsair – The star of BBC’s The Apprentice- Has more money then most Phd’s; Simon Cowell – executive, television producer and entrepreneur – dropped out at 16 – earned $75 million in 2009; Henry Ford; Soichiro Honda; Ray Kroc of McDonald’s; Marcus Loew – MGM entertainment; Vidal Sassoon; Pierce Brosnan – 007, film producer and environmentalist – left school at 16; Jim Carrey – actor and comedian; Tom Cruise – actor and producer; Robert DeNiro – actor, director and producer; Sean Connery – actor and producer – he is also a Knight; John Travolta; Kate Winslet – actress and occasional singer – youngest person to accrue six Academy Award nominations; William Faulkner Nobel Prize winner – novelist and short story writer; and Sir Elton John; to name but a handful.Now if you want to lead a research team it may be advantageous to prove you have science well and truly tucked under your belt. For the rest of us we make it with luck, effort and experience. Some talent can be useful but not essential. And a modicum of desire is always handy.In your case, if you aren't happy settling with a red brick uni, although I've always thought most of them were pretty fair, why not go and work for a year and see how things look then?
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (14 June 2017):
 What a brilliant answer by Aunt YouWish!! If only there was a rating higher than 5 stars!
This is not the? end of the road for you; this is just how life is going to be now that you're out in the big bad world. OP when I was a student, I too desperately wanted an international scholarship and I was very confident that I would get it. When I got the letter telling me the I hadn't got it, I remember that my knees were shaking. I couldn't stand and then I slowly blacked out. That's how much the shock hit me. I would just stare vacantly into space after that thinking, what the f am I going to do with my life? I had literally NO plan b.
I slowly gathered the pieces, worked with what I had and boy am I glad now that I didn't get what I wanted because if I had, my life would have been so different now! I would never have met my amazing husband, I wouldn't have had the many experiences that have made me who I am today. Yes, getting the scholarship would have been a different path but not necessarily great.
OP life is going to take you into a different direction now. Go with it. Try to remember that whatever happens is for the best and each and every thing that happens, happens for a reason. This is all going to take you somewhere where you never thought you'd go.
OP life rarely goes as planned and that's what it's like being an adult. And you know what, that's ok. Your parents might be disappointed initially but I'm sure they'll support and encourage you no matter what. Hold your head high. You faltered but that just means you tried! And full marks to you for that! Now go and do whatever you can and don't let one rejection hold your back or question yourself. You are NOT bad academically...70% in maths at this level means you are way about average! It also depends on who evaluates your papers and maybe you just got a bad examiner. I once got the worst marks for English in an exam, which was my strongest and most favorite subject and to this day I don't know how it was possible!
Lots of love to you OP. Be strong, be brave and shake this off. Now go out there and conquer the world.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (14 June 2017):
 First of all, you should hold your head up high! You put all of your effort into a goal, and I know it's devastating that you didn't reach it, but you can say that you "left it all on the playing field", that you gave your very best.
As a parent, that's the number one thing that keeps me up at night, and that's knowing that I can't protect my son from things like what you just went through. Whether it's job rejection, school rejection, or romantic rejection, it hurts, and boy does it hurt badly. Your parents love you very much, and when you tell them what happened, they won't be mad at you. They won't be disappointed in you. They will hurt WITH you, and they'll want to hold you and comfort you because of the pain you're feeling.
That never leaves a mom -- seeing her son or daughter, no matter what age, in pain. But there's something else here. You are now being forged in the fire of adulthood.
It's in THIS moment right now, when you feel devastated, angry, upset, despair, that you find out what you're made of. You say that there isn't a second chance to get into these schools?? It's okay!! Life is actually what awaits you BEYOND uni, and now you know that you have the grit to face a risk, give it your all, and even in failing, to land on your feet. Life just gave you one adult-sized punch right in the face, and you will adapt, wipe the emotional blood off of your lip, and laugh back at it.
What do you want to be when you grow up?? I know that being a student isn't your end-dream. Think of this setback like a highway being closed down. How do you get around the obstacle in order to achieve your goal?? Where is the detour, the alternate university? It's possible that this setback is a blessing in disguise. J.K. Rowling's story is applicable to you in that she was homeless, on welfare, in despair, her writings rejected HUNDREDS of times by publishers both as herself and using a man's pen name.
One particular manuscript was rejected 12 freaking times! 12! On one occasion, it wasn't even read, merely handed back with a slip of paper with only two words written on it: "NO THANKS".
That manuscript was Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone.
Now, she's a billionaire, and that rejected manuscript is now a legendary movie and book franchise with a freakin' THEME park built because of it.
Now I ask you...what will your story be?? What will do you once you've dusted yourself off and face down this rejection?? You've got the grit to try for your dreams, so you're halfway there already! Now, do you have the grit to get past the setbacks??
I think you will! All my love, young lady! You CAN do it!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2017): Oh sweetheart, your parents will know you tried your best so don't be so hard on yourself ,they love you regardless of what uni you get in to.. you said there is a chance you could still get in on other merits so fingers crossed for that ....Be very proud of yourself for being privileged and smart enough to go to uni, and even tho this seems huge right now it's just a stepping stone to the rest of your life , good luck ...remember mum and dad will love you regardless
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