A
female
age
26-29,
*utton546
writes:so i dont want to sound like a nag or like im being selfish but here it is.25th june was my 21st birthday i had a meal and a night out planned. on the 24th my boyfriend didnt want to spend it with me but i told him if he doesnt try its over because he never tries at all. he expects me to do everything like make meals make brews etc. but my birthday. he came because i said he had to didnt even buy me a drink or show me any attention he woke me up 8.30 the next day to tell me hes hungry. no happy birthday no card nothing. baring in mind i found out of his mum he lent £50 to apparently get me something. he then carried on to talk to me like shit through the day and make everything about him. said its all my fault and i need to be more considerate as hes on antidepressants. we then went on to have a massive argument which he said was my fault. i spent the next 4 and half hours crying and he just rolled over and went to sleep.i wanted to go home but he lives an hours drive away from me and i dont drive i dont know what to do ??????he also made no effort on valentines day. he said him asking me to be his girlfriend is enough and im stupid if i want things to be romantic and im living in my own world. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (5 July 2017):
 WTFanny's Fart - "hanging around for when he changes because what if he 'improves' and someone else gets the better version?" BETTER VERSION!? I have to ask, are the pickings in men in your area that woeful to choose him as your BF?
Stupid is as Stupid does... What you're saying is; If you can't have him no-one is to have him.
He's a dang ding dong LOOSER! His greatest achievement after you would be finding someone more stupid (using your words).
I hope you are rid of him by now and grown the wiser.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 July 2017):
 Honestly you are never going to be happy with this man. He does not deserve you. He does nothing to show you that he loves you, and blames everything on you and uses his depression as an excuse to somehow make you think that it is okay. You say you love him, but what is it you love about him?!
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (28 June 2017):
 Wow, sorry I couldn't help but laugh when you included his age.
28 years old? It sounds like you were describing a child. I really don't know how you think this is a functional, normal relationship. You know what? I don't blame him for treating you the way he does, you're allowing him to do it so why would he stop?
There will come a day when you wonder where your life has gone after spending it with this embarrassment.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (28 June 2017):
 Sorry, OP
He isn't GOING to change. He has no incentive to change. You cater to his whims (I bet like his mother does) and he treats you occasionally like shit, YET you stay... So why should he change?
Is he 28? So OLD enough to get up in the morning fix breakfast for himself (and/or you) and OLD enough to have a job where he can make enough money to BUY his GF a freaking card (at least) for her birthday... instead? he goes and BUMS 50 of his mother!! HE IS NOT going to change, OP
Good luck with this man-child.
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A
female
reader, sutton546 +, writes (27 June 2017):
sutton546 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionits crazy. last night he was talking and i dont know how but suddenly i felt guilty and apologised for being a cow.
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A
female
reader, sutton546 +, writes (27 June 2017):
sutton546 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni honestly dont know. i love him and he knows it. hes 28 and i want to leave but then i dont knowww. i guess its just me hanging around for when he changes because what if he improves and someone else gets the better version or am i just being stupid?????
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (27 June 2017):
 So, if he believes that his asking you to be his girlfriend is enough, and that you're stupid if you want things to be romantic, then would he then also agree that you being his boyfriend is enough, and if he expects anything sexual from you, then HE is stupid and living in his own world??
Is this the behavior of a man who is in love with a woman??
NO. It's one thing to not have a lot of money, but a man in love makes it special for his partner, even if it's simply taking her out and eating an ice cream cone together.
He gives people on antidepressants a bad name, and you should leave him. Crying for 4 1/2 hours was 4 1/2 hours too long, and I'm guessing that this is a long time coming. He is self-absorbed, and you're his girlfriend, not his caregiver or shrink, and you don't OWE him the eggshells he's forcing you to walk on.
If you don't leave, he will leave you a hollow shell of the beautiful woman you are.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (26 June 2017):
Do you not think you deserve better?
If you have any self respect you would leave this lazy ass bum and find someone who knows how to treat a woman correctly.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (26 June 2017):
 I have to agree with him. It is ALL your fault. Because YOU are the one who ALLOWS him to treat you like you are not worth any better.
You are only 21. Are you going to spend the rest of your life crying over this selfish inconsiderate oik?
For crying out loud, take a good look at yourself and ask yourself WHY you allow him to treat you this way. You KNOW you are worth so much more. How many ways does he have to show you he doesn't give two hoots about you?
Kick this excuse for a relationship to the kerb where it belongs and reclaim your life before you start believing you deserve to be treated like dirt.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 June 2017):
Aside from him not wanting to do anything... he is a little selfish BITCH and maybe you need to outgrow him.
He isn't GOING to change.
Everything is your fault according to him, how is that not a good reason to dump him? I get that being on antidepressants can mess with a person's head but it doesn't mean you should let him walk all over you all the while walk on eggshells around him.
Bottom line? I don't really think he cares about anyone but himself. Which... might not be totally strange for a guy your age.
As for him EXPECTING to get up and cook for him? Are you serious?! I would have told him to run home to his mom if he can't crack an egg, toast some bread for himself!
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (26 June 2017):
 OP, why are you with a jerk? You can't really complain if you're choosing to stay with him. Leave, permanently.
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