| Latest articles: Gifts
No replies yet... 4 April 2018: This article is prompted by a question about take out soup. The OP felt slighted by her Boyfriend's offering. The subject is deeply symbolic, and crucial to a major love language and an important emotional need. The "Is the size of the take out ...
An old Uncle muses
No replies yet... 30 March 2017: My style of posting has been going through some changes and I thought I should share what's going on and why these changes. I'm rapidly moving into empty nest. I have 2 Daughters still living at home and they are both looking for their on place. ...
10 ways a guy can get himself kicked to the cur10 ways a guy can get himself kicked to the curbb
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
29 August 2014: Cindy wrote an excellent article:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/ten-best-ways-for-a-woman-to-be.html I felt that the article needed a counterpoint for the guys. I've sure read about a lot of guys mistakes and while I'm sure I will miss some, he...
Rejection
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 October 2013: I just commented on a post by a guy who had a long history of rejection. The post tickled my memory all the way back to Junior High School (12 years of age). I was rejected a lot. I've got to say that out of the 15 or so girls in my class 10 ...
Wanted: Unattached Male
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
22 October 2010: I stumbled onto a news article online that has got me thinking. It was so much like a question here on "Dear Cupid". The author had just been through a breakup and was Writing advice based on her experience. She entitled the article something ...
Confessions of an Agony Uncle
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2009: On the 4th of November 2008 I signed up for a name and posted my first answer on this site. It was some quiet advice on career choices. Last night I posted my 100th. Just a bit of general advice on sex. In between I've gotten my ire up about ...
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I am now on a bitter liver...
Q. Alright...--- Well I guess I should start explaining my spot in life. I'm a freshman in highschool and I'm an all around person kinda girl. I never believed in friends but always acquaintences. Just to keep wild emotions out. Im patient, reassur...
A. 16 May 2010: I'm glad to hear you are talking to someone. I'm a little worried that you are just trying to stay distracted. I see how that is helping you to cope and it is necessary. I hope there is also some treatment going on. That may be harder for you to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is not ready to have sex. I feel so rejected!
Q. My bf of two and a half years will not have sex with me. I have never had sex before and REALLY want to with him but everytime I try to initiate it, he turns me down. I have spoken to him about this three time over the past year but he has come ...
A. 10 January 2010: Thanks for the further information. That does clear out a lot of the possibilities. Not a virgin not hiding an erection problem. Not homosexual. It does leave two ugly possibilities.
1) Selfish lover.
2) poor communication
... (read in full...)
Wait...my boyfriend hit his ex????
Q. I don’t know what to do with my boyfriend! He has everything I could ever want in a guy- nice, very much like me, adorable, caring, loving, funny, hot, fun, and I feel like he is practically my best friend. I can share anything with him and we can ...
A. 9 January 2010: Long distance relationship, older guy, questions about his past. If I was your Dad, I'd pay for a background check right away. This is all kinds of unsafe.
FA... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is not ready to have sex. I feel so rejected!
Q. My bf of two and a half years will not have sex with me. I have never had sex before and REALLY want to with him but everytime I try to initiate it, he turns me down. I have spoken to him about this three time over the past year but he has come ...
A. 9 January 2010: I gotta admit that's pretty strange. It kid of says sexual orientation problem to me. Back in my day a homosexual man would move in with a girl in order to present a normal facade to the world. If you go back another generation they often married ... (read in full...)
My ex is lonely and wants warmth in his bed. What should I do?
Q. My ex and I hung out for 4 hrs tonight (hadnt seen each other for 4 mo).We talked alot/caught up - good times. Last chick he dated left him confused/kinda sad - he left me the same way after we broke up.It was random and it hurt.(I think we ...
A. 9 January 2010: Your question is what would have happened if you had kissed him or more. And you are considering asking him out on a casual date.
It could put you in a friends with benefits relationship pretty quickly. Since you don't want that you will nee... (read in full...)
How EXACTLY should you kiss?
Q. How do people kiss with their mouth closed? like, everything besides french kissing. are both lips supposed to be touching? should your lips interlock (like only kissing one of the lips)? basically, anything more than a peck but less than french ...
A. 8 January 2010: Due to my literary shortcomings I'm not really going to answer your question. You did give me an opportunity to write something that should be said. You should kiss honestly. Every kiss should be a declaration of love. It should be based in your ... (read in full...)
Marriage is good, sex stinks
Q. I am a guy who married someone who was a virgin and disliked oral (the thought of it), tried it reluctantly, but never really got used to it. Although I will freely and gladly go down on my wife, she does not reciprocate. My wife told me to have ...
A. 8 January 2010: Honest, but civil. hmmm,
OK, I've been there. I'm about ten years older than you. And the details differ. I like to call the trouble I had unequal sex drives. You seem to have some other issues as well. It was a difficult time. Eventual... (read in full...)
Embarrising question most likely for females to answer!
Q. Ok this is a very embarrasing question to ask, but I told my boyfriend that I had to clean the drain in my shower because it was clogged. And he asked if I shaved my crotch and I told him no i haven't. Reason is because I was taught to wait till I'm ...
A. 8 January 2010: When you decide that that is the look you want to have. If you aren't showing the area then you can keep it the way you like it. If you swim you would want to trim up to the swimsuit edges, because that would show. Now if you don't like the way ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cheated a year ago and it is still a big issue in our relationship!
Q. Hey guy sorry this is a little long but please take a moment to read it, i will really appreciate it. well a year ago exactly i found out my boyfriend cheated (as in full blown sex) with his ex girlfriend. it was in the first month of em and ...
A. 8 January 2010: Real people have real baggage. His ex is part of his. It would be nice if we could just erase our past every time we make a mistake. I often want to ask, How would you feel if your ex never thought of you? Obviously at some point she was the ... (read in full...)
I want to walk around in my underware
Q. I feel like taking off my clothes and leave my underwear and bra on only but afraid that my family will find out but I cant resist doing it because my kids would see it...
A. 7 January 2010: The more I think about this the more I want to ask, isn't it a bit cold for that in Canada?... (read in full...)
I want to walk around in my underware
Q. I feel like taking off my clothes and leave my underwear and bra on only but afraid that my family will find out but I cant resist doing it because my kids would see it...
A. 7 January 2010: Well other than sticking to full coverage styles, I don't see a problem. I know several women who refuse to wear a bra at home. This is certainly no more of an aberration than that. I wonder if this sudden change has to do with menopause. At any ... (read in full...)
Is my belly button sticking out because I'm pregnant?
Q. Is there any other reason why a woman's belly button would stick out? I just recently noticed that my belly button has slowly started moving outward. I don't feel pregnant or look pregnant. I have a 6 month old who I breast feed, so isn't it ...
A. 7 January 2010: My wifes belly button changed radically after her tubal ligation. Your change is more gradual. I still suspect it is due to the stretching a growth during pregnancy. the gradual change could just be due to gradual weight loss after pregnancy. ... (read in full...)
Why after an orgasm do men leave women hanging?
Q. Hi. Ok I have a question I no a lot of women would liked answered. Why is when a guy has a orgasm first its over they get up and go on with there day. They just leave the girl hangen they don't even try to finish what they started. Guys what if your ...
A. 6 January 2010: I hesitate to chime in on a post with 13 1nswers already. I notice we had several women quickly answer that it is because the man doesn't care. Many were quick to follow with, most men are better than that. I think that it would be good for most ... (read in full...)
I want no strings sex - but only with him!
Q. Ok so here's the situation. I am recently seperated from my husband, and started talking to this guy at work. He told me he had a girlfriend. So i chalked it up to harmless flirting. After a while the flirting became more serious. I know that him ...
A. 5 January 2010: Wow! you really are all about you. It's all about what you want.
The situation is quite clear for the outside point of view. You want "no strings attached sex". He wants a long term relationship including marriage. Those things are mutually... (read in full...)
Is minimal contact best way to fall out of love?
Q. I fell for my best friend (female). Didn't say, because I was certain she didn't feel the same, although we are ridiculously close. Anyway, many of our mutual friends were convinced she did feel the same, as although she denied it verbally, her ...
A. 4 January 2010: She is using you. She is deliberately limiting your contact with other girls. Claiming you publicly as her own. So that she will have someone to hang on between other guys. Either that or she is a complete commitment phoebe. Either way the ... (read in full...)
How can I cope with his lack of trust in me?
Q. I am a woman in a relationship with a cuckold boyfriend (live together) who wants me to have sex with other men. I don't want to, and he seems to accept that, although he often accuses me of cheating on him anyway. It seems totally contradictory ...
A. 2 January 2010: Well the safe answer is to always report any suicide threat. Even if you think he is just playing. Seriously this man needs help and at least he may get some.
FA... (read in full...)
How can I resolve this continuing argument with my Mum?
Q. I'm nearly 26 and due to a bad breakup over a year ago, I'm living at home. Since then, my Mum and I have been arguing a lot. I'm dating someone else now, and I spend quite a lot of time with him. The main argument is that I don't 'care' abo...
A. 2 January 2010: Two adult women who live in the same house will fight.
It's a law of nature. As soon as you move out the relationship will heal. You will still be texting and calling her, but she will look forward to it more. She will even ask you to come over... (read in full...)
She is crying her eyes out but still wants to end our long distance relationship..how can I convince her otherwise?
Q. This girl and I started dating at the end of my senior year in high school and we dated all through the summer. I went to college and it hasn't been fun being this far apart. I try to visit as much as possible but sometimes there is 3 or 4 weeks ...
A. 2 January 2010: She is not mature enough for the long distance relationship. It is time for you to buck up and be the man. You have to make her needs come first. You need to let her free for a time. If it is meant to be she will come back when she is ready. In ... (read in full...)
Should I care what others think?
Q. Hello dear cupid. I’m with my GF 3 years already, and on Christmas she told me she wants a « heart breakable « jewellery for the both of us. She told me that it would represent our eternal love, and relationship. Well at the beginning I didn’t ...
A. 2 January 2010: Actually the immature thing is to worry about what everyone is thinking. I do agree to wear it under your shirt, close to your heart. That is what I did at your age.
FA... (read in full...)
How to lose weight fast without hurting yourself?
Q. how to loss weight with out hurting your self to any pills an you are only 16 years old and want to loss it fast and keep it off for life can yall help me i mean its a new year i want to start off right but i need help because i know for sure i ...
A. 2 January 2010: At 16 and female you are pretty much done growing, so a doctor is not likely to have a problem with you losing weight. 16 is also a great time to make the lifestyle changes necessary for lifelong fitness. Weight watchers is a great inexpensive ... (read in full...)
15 girl dating 20 guy.... parents is the issue.. help!
Q. Hi, I'm Ashley. My boyfriend is Jose. I'm 15. He is 20. I live in idaho. He lives in Texas. We have been dating for 11 months. We haven't met yet but that's all we talk about. We met over the internet so its kinda hard to say I KNOW him. But I feel ...
A. 2 January 2010: Hi Ash,
While I disagree that it is more dangerous in Texas than it is in Idaho, I wouldn't be sending a 15 year old daughter on a cross country trip to meet an online boyfriend. The situation is dangerous.
One thing doesn't add up. A singl... (read in full...)
How can I cope with his lack of trust in me?
Q. I am a woman in a relationship with a cuckold boyfriend (live together) who wants me to have sex with other men. I don't want to, and he seems to accept that, although he often accuses me of cheating on him anyway. It seems totally contradictory ...
A. 1 January 2010: He has a weird kink / fantasy that in real life almost never works. He is so obsessed with it that he is manufacturing proof out of thin air. He needs a good solid dose of reality. probably needs some counseling. As far as the future of the ... (read in full...)
She forces me to wear condom and I always lose my erection
Q. okay picture this... me and my girl are messing around im getting turned on she is ready for me i am hard as rock and then i go for the condom. in thre time it takes me to get the condom, put it on and start tryinf to go in i lose my stiffness. I ...
A. 1 January 2010: Has anyone ever tried the female style condoms. I would think it would resolve the issue here. But, I have no experience to base that on.
FA... (read in full...)
Into me? Or is it just for sex?
Q. okay guys, here's the deal, there is this guy i have known at least since i was 10 years old most likely longer and we just ,in the past couple of years, started to be friends and we were always picking on each other just for fun and then he went ...
A. 1 January 2010: Caring guy is exactly right as to what you should do. I think your friend is making a mistake that he will regret when he is older, and by making him date you first you are helping him to avoid this.
Why I am writing is because I think at your ... (read in full...)
She didn't like my mood and now we aren't friends
Q. I have recently fallen out with a girl i was friends with for months. We seemed to get on fine lately, but she wasn't happy with my bad mood and said she couldnt understand me, so doesnt want to meet or speak again. She has just started dating ...
A. 1 January 2010: She initiated No Contact. It is likely that any thing you do at this point is just going to make her mad at you. And Moodiness is enough reason.
FA... (read in full...)
15 girl dating 20 guy.... parents is the issue.. help!
Q. Hi, I'm Ashley. My boyfriend is Jose. I'm 15. He is 20. I live in idaho. He lives in Texas. We have been dating for 11 months. We haven't met yet but that's all we talk about. We met over the internet so its kinda hard to say I KNOW him. But I feel ...
A. 1 January 2010: The trouble is that it is so easy for people to lie in a long distance relationship. The other trouble is that in an age difference relationship it is easy for the older person to deceive, mislead, and take advantage of the younger person. As a ... (read in full...)
Leaving for the army! Should I marry him?
Q. My boyfriend of about 3 months told me an hour ago that he was leaving for the army in a few hours i dont know what to do he also asked me to marry him but im scared that he will get hurt im 15 and hes 19 anyone know what i should do? ...
A. 31 December 2009: YES, yes, yes, All the aunts agree. You will miss out on the best 3 years of your life if you get married now. Exactly why you should not be dating a guy over 18. He is feeling lonely or afraid of being lonely, and trying to tie some anchor to ... (read in full...)
I lost interest in a lady fast
Q. Please i dont know what to do or say to make a girl say 'YES' instantly for a relationship.I usually lost interest when she decide to play hard to get....
A. 31 December 2009: I'm not sure what you mean by "Instant relationship". A relationship is a long term arrangement between two people. No one dives into that quickly. First there is a period of getting to know each other. Exploring compatibility, and most ... (read in full...)
I am now on a bitter liver...
Q. Alright...--- Well I guess I should start explaining my spot in life. I'm a freshman in highschool and I'm an all around person kinda girl. I never believed in friends but always acquaintences. Just to keep wild emotions out. Im patient, reassur...
A. 30 December 2009: You have some good advice here, but one thing is missing, you need a counselor. You are hurt and you need a professional to help you put the pieces back together. Since you live in the US I know there are resources available to you. Your school ... (read in full...)
I'm caught in the middle of a family fight!!! Please, I need your help!!!
Q. I am stuck in the middle of three sisters one my Mums side of the family and a bad relationship with my mum and my Dad's sister. I try to be nice to everyone in My family because I hardly see them and when I do I like it to be a good, happy time, ...
A. 30 December 2009: That is all a little too close to home for me. My Father and all of his siblings fight like cats and dogs. Fortunately for me I'm old enough that I don't have to go to family parties. So I don't. Just last week my aunt sent a rather snippy email ... (read in full...)
Can a relationship recover from infidelity if the cheating partner still denies it?
Q. I know that my husband cheated on me. However he denies it. I do love him and want to move past this but if he will not admit it can we move on? We have been together for 15 years. Now this just happened after he started this job about 2 years ag...
A. 30 December 2009: No, a relationship can not exist without trust. It will not heal. You don't trust him, you haven't trusted him for two years. Two years where he has been telling you that he is innocent. Two years where you have been accusing him without ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 13 years talks marriage but still no date set
Q. i am 30 years old the mother of 1, 10 year old boy with my boy friend and we are now 13 years in relationship. He really loves me and i trust him and he always talk about married but still not yet decided. can i wait or can i leave him? ...
A. 30 December 2009: Why on earth would he marry you? He is already getting all the benefits, without signing on the line. for 13 years you have been sending him the message that you are just fine with the relationship the way it is. In any way I can think of it you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to split the cost of a big ticket item with me, but I don't think I'll be with him that long!
Q. so my boyfriend wants to get a ps3 (he lives with me)he wants us to split the cost to get it. the thing is i do not want to since i do not think i will be with him for that long. he thinks everything is going great but i am just not that happy wi...
A. 30 December 2009: Once he gets the PS3 He will stay home and eat your food while he plays all night and ignores you. I gather from your post that you are not into playing video games. That is the way to approach this payment decision with him. Tell him that since ... (read in full...)
Which protection is safer?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for a year now. I've decided i want to loose my virginity to him. when we started talking about what protection we would use we had an issue. for my first time i want a guy to cum inside me, but of course i ...
A. 28 December 2009: I think we already answered this today.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/whats-the-safest-way-to-cum-inside-my.html
FA... (read in full...)
What's the safest way to cum inside my girlfriend without getting her pregnant?
Q. My girlfriend really wants me to cum inside her, while yes this sounds very hot, Im at the same time very apprehensive to do it because i'm not ready for a kid, she said she is going to get on the pill so we'll wait 7 days before we have sex, but my ...
A. 28 December 2009: My question is what is it that she is really wanting? Does she want to be pregnant? Does she want you to be more committed (married) to her? Does she want to be more free and unrestricted? The answer to what she wants is key to what you should ... (read in full...)
Do women like intelligent men?
Q. Hello, i was wondering, does women like intelligent men? I really love to become a mathematician or a physicist, i mean not the wrong social stereotype of the geek who cant socialize, i mean a guy that is fit + personality + mathematician or physi...
A. 27 December 2009: Nice topic, I appreciate that sweetheart mentioned the "little on the bad side" part. Most younger girls will spend some time with a bad boy, usually they grow out of it, and are embarrassed by the aftermath. In the meantime they add fuel to the ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend didn't give me a Christmas present!
Q. My boyfriend didn't get me a Christmas present. I wrapped all his kids gifts and put mine under the tree. We ad a talk prior to Christmas about exchanging gifts. I didn't was there to be any financial burdon on either of us, so I suggested that we ...
A. 27 December 2009: Exactly right Caring guy. I do suspect he will keep trying. It took me quite some time to get the gift giving thing right. I still mess up on occasion. It is one of the hardest things for me.
FA... (read in full...)
Trapped! How do I get out of this rut?
Q. I get that there are people worse off than me... but it just breaks my heart that i have hopes, dreams, and talents that are going to waste and my life is passing me by because I don´t have the money to fulfill my hopes and dreams. This sounds li...
A. 27 December 2009: What to say, I believe that every person to some extent feels the way you do. I'm personally jealous of your 4 year college degree. But I am sad to hear that you are still living at home, just getting by as a sub. I hope my business makes it ... (read in full...)
Do men prefer fake over real breasts?
Q. Are fake breasts better than natural, small ones? I mean, I know this has been asked before. But it seems like they are. I've asked many guys and they say "Hey, if it improves her beauty, then it's all good!". And I read this article: http://...
A. 18 December 2009: A guy who loves breasts here. My Wife has big breasts and I love them. But they are hers, all natural. I like real, imperfect, natural, any size, breasts. I don't like sculpted, to perfect to touch, anything. What really turns guys off is "High ... (read in full...)
Is this masochistic dream something to worry about?
Q. I just had a really masochistic dream and it's scaring me because I don't know what's going on with me and I don't want to turn into a masochist. Actually, I hardly remember the dream, but I remember quite well the sexually masochistic fantasies I ...
A. 18 December 2009: Dreams are symbolic rather than actual. Your dream could portray a need for extreme experiences. Maybe you are looking for more adventure in life. On the other hand you may feel that you deserve to be punished for something in the past. The ... (read in full...)
Is it weird to get turned on by the pain of first time sex?
Q. Ok im a girl and i was wondering if this is normal. I talked to my friends and they all said it will hurt your first time haveing sex and even made there boyfriends stop. When i had sex for the first time it did hurt but i liked the pain alot and ...
A. 18 December 2009: Without using the word normal, yes some people are turned on by pain. Some people are also turned on by very specific situations like losing their virginity.
The advice I would give you at your stated age is to get to know yourself. Be Safe. A... (read in full...)
How do I figure out which employee to cut?
Q. The company I work for needs to down size my office by one position. Since I'm the manager it's up to me to figure out which position can be eliminated and create a strategy for re-directing the work load to the other 4 workers. There are two ...
A. 18 December 2009: As an employer. Fire the one that takes up your time. You will need more time after you downsize. I know you want to think about the peoples needs, I have the same problem. In the end you are there to get a certain amount of work done. That is ... (read in full...)
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