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Leaving for the army! Should I marry him?

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Question - (31 December 2009) 9 Answers - (Newest, 2 January 2010)
A female Canada age 30-35, *arybaby writes:

My boyfriend of about 3 months told me an hour ago that he was leaving for the army in a few hours i dont know what to do he also asked me to marry him but im scared that he will get hurt im 15 and hes 19 anyone know what i should do?

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A male reader, daletom United States +, writes (2 January 2010):

Whether you are 15 or 50, if he's telling you about leaving for the Army only a few hours (or a few days) before it happens - you do NOT have a relationship that is ready for marriage.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2009):

lol ive been with my husband for almost 4 years and just married him about a week ago. Surprisingly I thought I knew everything about him. But he did something that actually surprised the hell out of me because I thought I knew him LOL And your actually considering marrying someone who probably just proposed to you in the first place so you wouldnt cheat on him lol

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2009):

Are you CRAZY- hell, you shouldn't be dating this guy much less be thinking about marriage. He's 19- your 15, that's young enough for prison time if he's had sex with you....

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States +, writes (31 December 2009):

Fatherly Advice agony auntYES, yes, yes, All the aunts agree. You will miss out on the best 3 years of your life if you get married now. Exactly why you should not be dating a guy over 18. He is feeling lonely or afraid of being lonely, and trying to tie some anchor to himself. You are too young to be that anchor. Tell him no and tell him that he is going to be away for most of the next 4 years. Don't promise to wait for him, because you most likely won't. You are going to get a lot of offers while you are in high school. If after 4 years you are still available you will be 19 and close to the maturity level needed for marriage, then would be the time for this decision.

FA

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2009):

He's asking for marriage because he is scared you'll cheat on him while he's gone; it's a control thing.

When you get married dont' you want someone to marry you for LOVE rather than FEAR? Think about it.

Saying no to marriage and saying goodbye until you meet again is the best thing at your age. I promise you'll regret if you withhold yourself from normal life experiences, and I promise you will be glad you went on with your life and allow love to happen naturally.

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A male reader, RAINORFIRE United States +, writes (31 December 2009):

RAINORFIRE agony auntI kno what you should do, Dont marry him your to damn young for one, youll hate your self and him if yu do, life will just suck in general. ok thats it tell him your not ready cause your not, just be a kid for a few more years

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (31 December 2009):

The fact he gave you a few hours notice and lied to you about it till now is not a good sign.

The fact you are also asking the internet whether you should accept is also a very bad sign.

Tell him you'll try and wait for him but if it gets too much for either of you then you can both make a clean break rather than cheat.

3 months is NO WHERE NEAR enough time to decide if you want to marry a guy, let alone one who does this kind of thing to you.

Good Luck!! xx

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A female reader, xAx United Kingdom +, writes (31 December 2009):

xAx agony auntIn my opinion, you would be getting married for the wrong reasons. Get married because you love eachother and want to spend the rest of your lives together. It's a very big commitment. Also, you cannot get engaged until you are 16 and married at 18 unless parents give you consent while you are 16 or 17. Just wait til you are ready.

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A female reader, Leo1989 Guernsey +, writes (31 December 2009):

Leo1989 agony auntoh honey that is so sweet! i know how you feel its a difficult one. if he asked you to marry him and you like him then say yes! i have a saying that goes 'when love, care etc is present then age does not count' people will probably have a go at me for that but ive been around for a while and i know what im talking about. always stay open minded and non judgemental. you are a 15yr old and not a 5yr old. not all 15yr olds are 'immature' or 'not ready' for certain types of relationships. as for the fact he is off to join the army and he will not do anything else then wish him all the best and spend time with him before he leaves.

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