A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I know that my husband cheated on me. However he denies it. I do love him and want to move past this but if he will not admit it can we move on? We have been together for 15 years. Now this just happened after he started this job about 2 years ago and he still works with her. And even though he denies it I know in my gut, heart, and in my soul that he has cheated. But if he wont admit it is there a way for us to heal?.... Ya cant really heal unless you deal with the truth. Right?
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cheated on me, infidelity, move on Reply to this Question
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male
reader, sf69 +, writes (3 January 2010):
Yes you can, Im proof.but there will be problems. trust...the foundation of all relationships wont be the strongest. many of your energies will be spent thinking about this instesd of building and growing. the vows of for better or for worse may be all that is left. Possible? Definately..Easy...no...The best thing? Maybe...Good luck SF69
A
female
reader, Brooklyngirl +, writes (31 December 2009):
 I'm with Caring Guy and q1605! If you are relying totally on gut-feelings, with no proof whatsoever...he just might be innocent!
That's why juries are made up of twelve people...who must decide guilt "beyond a shadow of doubt!" That's why evidence is brought in to a case...you can't just rely on gut feelings! You need proof! Without it, it's just he said/she said...No Conviction!
You may want to step back and take a look at all the facts (or lack of)
Or just walk away, trusting your gut, and not trusting him!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2009): Girl, its that way witj my fiance. I know he cheated on me but he aint gonna admit it. If you keep pressuring him about it no matter how much it bothers you, then your just gonna push him away even more. I have learned this first hand. My fiance still works with the girl to. He dont have the best reputation for not cheating but i just give him the benefit of the doubt until Im proven wrong again. Good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2009): This is about you not him. If you absolutely know he cheated, not one shadow of doubt,, why is it so important he acknowledges to you he cheated.
It sound like,, he knows and you know he cheated,, but he won't say the actual words "I cheated".
How you feel is totally hinged on his admission of guilt. As has been said, "trust" you can't begin to trust him again without his admission. What if he did admit he cheated?? would that really make THE difference ??
On the other hand,,, (think hard about this one) what if he said,, "fine, I cheated",,, and he really did not cheat after all ?? Then how would you feel??
You're looking for closure and it's all hinged on his admission. Sometimes in life getting closure on a specific chapter of one's life isn't possible. It depends on the person whether they are still able to move forward find happiness, trust, or any of the other emotional aspects of a relationship.
The answer really lays within You,, can you move forward and trust without full closure ??
Probably zero help but can't say you didn't get a different opinion..
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (30 December 2009):
 No, a relationship can not exist without trust. It will not heal. You don't trust him, you haven't trusted him for two years. Two years where he has been telling you that he is innocent. Two years where you have been accusing him without evidence. I don't know whether he cheated or not. What I do know is that if you do torture any person long enough, (either physically or mentally or emotionally) they will confess to anything you want just so they can get away. Even death is an acceptable escape.
FA
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (30 December 2009):
No, you can't handle it unless the truth comes out. The problem is you're relying on gut instinct, not proof. He won't admit anything unless you can prove it, because there's a slight chance he didn't. You need proof, or he won't admit it. Either that, or this will have to end.
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