A
male
age
51-59,
Fatherly Advice
writes:I just commented on a post by a guy who had a long history of rejection. The post tickled my memory all the way back to Junior High School (12 years of age). I was rejected a lot. I've got to say that out of the 15 or so girls in my class 10 rejected me without even a thought. Of the other 5, One had an older,and bigger, boyfriend, one actively quarreled with me, one failed to show interest, One was off and on, and the last well I actually can't pin down another. There were some girls younger and older than me. Of the younger girls one scared me, one was really in love with my younger brother, so I rejected her. Older girls well I had to be a bit older than 14 before I started attracting their attention. Some were just playful, so I didn't take them seriously. One particularly memorable one was using me to keep her real serious prospect interested. Fortunately at 17 I knew what she was up to and couldn't have been happier when he finally proposed. There was one other notable event. An older girl who I had harbored an infatuation for offered me a dance on my birthday. I really shouldn't have turned her down. But somehow My inner self knew that it was better of staying in the fantasy realm.So that was a long ramble the point of which is that in the years I was actually actively pursuing romantic attachment. I was rejected by well over 90% of the possible partners. Not only that I am guilty of rejecting many myself. I have always said that the #1 thing I am interested in is a girl that is interested in me. I just can't seem to resist that, and yet I have. In fact of Girls who approached me first I possibly rejected as many as 30%. Now to apply that backwards There should be about 70% of the girls I knew who would have accepted an advance had I made one. In other words 10.5 of the girls in my class should have been possible. I probably missed getting to know half the possible girls, because I assumed that they had rejected me.So to all of you lonely guys who are feeling rejected for whatever reason, I have some advice. First not everyone is going to be attracted to you. That's alright, you don't want everyone to be attracted to you. Second, you don't know until you ask. Remember you are less likely to be rejected if you ask for the right thing. If you ask a girl you barely know to be your girlfriend you could get rejected pretty often. When you tell a unknown girl you would like to get to know her your chances are better. When you ask a girl that you've got to know over some time if she would like to be in a committed relationship with you, then you can reach your goal. Last, don't assume that because you have been rejected once that no will always be the answer, (caution: this is not a license to be a creepy stalker.) You will remember I listed a girl who had an older boyfriend with the girls who did not reject me. She was interested in me all along. She had little ways of letting me know, without being unfaithful to her boyfriend. Eventually the older boyfriend was out of the picture and she turned her attention to me.So you say everyone rejects you. That's pretty rare, The more likely truth is you were rejected by a few representatives of the type you were interested in. But does it matter? Even if you never date 90% of the possible women you can still find joy and happiness. I did, I don't regret my dating years. Most of the regrets that I have about that time are the chances I missed. Things that were entirely my own fault. Rejection is nothing to regret it is just part of life. Everyone gets it.FA Reply to this Article
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (17 November 2013):
Fatherly Advice is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you also for your comment. Yes rejection by family or after an altercation in a relationship is a whole different story and much harder to shake off. I hope things are looking up for you soon.
FA
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2013): This is a really nice post.I am one of those women who have rejected a lot of men in the past. did I ever experienced rejection myself? Oh yes i do have my own share of rejection from people I loved.Rejection really hurts. There are so many types of rejection. It could be your own family have rejected you. Or a job application. Or a business proposal, or the man or woman of your dreams rejected you.Your right for saying, rejection is just a part of life.But nothing is more hurtful when your being rejected by your own family. another worst kind of rejection is rejecting someone you care about because of a foolish decisions. Sometimes you just cant take back every hurtful words you said because its been said and done, and its just too late to rectify what you have done. I guess what I'm trying to say is, it is also possible that some girls who have rejected you in the past happens to like you too. Just that maybe not meant to be. Rejection sucks but your right, its a part of life.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (26 October 2013):
Fatherly Advice is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the comment Nickole,
I agree that the math might not be reversible, but I now see Women as less likely to reject quickly. Girls choice opportunities were rare in the 80's. The social stigma of a Girl asking a guy out was stronger then, but the feelings were the same.
So how bad is it to be a forward female now?
FA
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