A
female
age
41-50,
*ixieGwen
writes:My ex and I hung out for 4 hrs tonight (hadnt seen each other for 4 mo).We talked alot/caught up - good times. Last chick he dated left him confused/kinda sad - he left me the same way after we broke up.It was random and it hurt.(I think we broke up cos it got too serious).Anyhoo karma's a bitch.(I felt like sayin I told u so/or like..thats what u get lol)So he told me it had been 4 mo since he's had sex (had asked the same of me) and I felt he was flirting w/ me but he didnt try anything..though part of me wanted to just kiss him.He was "excited" for alot of the time we were hanging out.Not sure why.Eventually he decided to go home because the "Excitement" wouldnt go away and said he wanted to be a gentleman (so its best he leaves).I'm just wondering what kissing him and beyond would turn us into.He's never been the one to date more than one person.He had also told me that he wants warmth in his bed (not sex) but I guess someone beside him.I'm guessin hes lonely.(he repeated himself quite a bit).The sex is fantastic but I dont want him thinkin thats all im about.so im afraid to go there.I wasnt sure what to make of tonight.I felt like inviting him out to the movies this wknd..but I dont want to look like I'm all about him - which im not.
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broke up, flirt, kissing Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, PixieGwen +, writes (9 January 2010):
PixieGwen is verified as being by the original poster of the question Dear cupid phrased my question.I just wanted to know how to make us hanging out work.that's why I said I wanted to invite him out but basically didn't want it to seem like a big deal. i am open to dating him again but that's not my goal w hangin w him. Aside from that we've fooled around after bein broken up - he made a move..he knows ill never make a move n he knows what to do but didn't act on it. I wouldn't feel used if anything sexual happened.I just don't want him to muddle it up w relationshippy stuff unless he means it.I don't want him gettin weird cos of the sex.. anyhoo I tried writin this last night but my Q was all jumbled.I was all over the place.I just wasn't thinkin clearly.
A
male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (9 January 2010):
 Seems like he is playing mind games with you. If you are that worred about giving him warmth, buy him a cat.
Good Luck!
Jeff
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A
female
reader, OHme  +, writes (9 January 2010):
 I think that he is playing mind games with you, he just wanted to have a good time, don't buy it. if you "do it" with him I'm sure that you will regret it soon after because you will find yourself in the zone of " what's next ???" and, believe me, it's not good. the man who fights for a woman is the man that you want to be with.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (9 January 2010):
 Your question is what would have happened if you had kissed him or more. And you are considering asking him out on a casual date.
It could put you in a friends with benefits relationship pretty quickly. Since you don't want that you will need to be very careful. He looks either vulnerable or interested in getting back in with you. If you decide, after careful deliberation, that you want him back, you will need to go slowly and build some trust. Based on what you have written you don't trust him. You need to be able to trust him before you should have sex with him. The trouble is the sex was fantastic and you want some.
I was only ever in a want to get back together situation once. And we didn't, because she was still pursuing someone else. The safe thing is to let the old flame die out, and get on with life. He would be easy to pick up right now but would likely do the same thing to you again in the end.
FA
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (9 January 2010):
Awww not sex.... yeah I bet he has the best of intentions about just cuddling you. But within 5 minutes when he's in your pants, I also bet he won't stop and be a gentleman THEN!
You are playing a dangerous game and you may feel like you could handle a casual / friends with benefits thing... But there are going to be so many feelings floating around it's going to be like walking on egg shells all the time.
At some point one of you is going to meet someone else and drop the other one. Chances are the other one will be very hurt by that.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, PixieGwen +, writes (9 January 2010):
PixieGwen is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni feel like if it was a booty call he wouldve atleast tried to kiss me.. touch me.. or do something - which he didnt.He didnt invite me over. I figured sex. advances shouldnt be hard considering we were a pretty sexual couple.
( hes the one that made the night longer) he suggested hanging out in the car - by my house,like old times.Which we did.. and just talked (which we always used to do before).considering nothing else was open.
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A
female
reader, PixieGwen +, writes (9 January 2010):
PixieGwen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionlemme clarify something.
i dont want to just be a booty call to my ex.if we engage in sexual stuff - i want us to maybe have a relationship again, well def more than sex.. if its gonna go there.
considering he mentioned wanting someone next to him at night and he repeated himself - it made me wonder if he was hinting.
he told me he had alot of fun & thanked me for meeting up on such short notice.
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