A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:so my boyfriend wants to get a ps3 (he lives with me)he wants us to split the cost to get it. the thing is i do not want to since i do not think i will be with him for that long.he thinks everything is going great but i am just not that happy with him anymore. he never spends any time with me, always at his friends house playing video games (so he says) and comes home late in the morning. he never calls me just to see how i am doing, not even a text. and he never wants to do anything together. if i suggest something for us to do he does not want to do it. it is his way or the high way. i am just tired of it, i talk to him about it but he just does not listen, what do u think i should do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you guys so much, i asked him why do i have to split the cost if i am not interested in playing video games, he said that it is a gift to him, can you believe that, haha!!! i am not goin to do that!
A
female
reader, x-kitycatlok-x  +, writes (31 December 2009):
 There's one of 3 possibilities. 1) He's using you for money.2) He's taking advantage of you. Still loves you but just assumes you're going to be there no matter what.3) He's just not into you anymore. You need to think of everything, write it all down and decide which of these is the most likely. If 1 or 3, it sounds like a good idea to leave him. If number two then you need to tell him how you're feeling and how he can help that. You two need to communicate and fix the solution, but only if you two both still have feelings for each other.As for the PS3, don't do it. If you don't want to, you don't. Don't do it for someone who isn't acting like he's helping you at all xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2009): tell him 'no' and see what happens.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2009): Yeah, don't change the keys while he is over at his friends' place. That's a douche move.
But he's right about the ps3 thing. Don't split the cost if you don't play video games. Otherwise, he will totally play video games all the time and ignore you. Instead, ask him to split the cost of a group activity that YOU enjoy, and see what happens.
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (30 December 2009):
 Once he gets the PS3 He will stay home and eat your food while he plays all night and ignores you. I gather from your post that you are not into playing video games. That is the way to approach this payment decision with him. Tell him that since you don't play you won't pay.
I am also worried that you seem to be stringing him along. If you are not happy with him, he should be the first one you tell. Relationships need communication. I know that he looks a lot like a loser from your letter, but there must have been some reason you two got together in the first place. There is also a reason you haven't left yet.
So, if you want to save the relationship, you have to talk. The PS3 will not help to save it. If you just want out, change the keys while he is over playing at his friends house.
FA
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2009): I think he's really attached to you and is probably willing to change himself in order to preserve your relationship. You said he never talks to you and spends all his time playing video games? Well then, in a weird sort of way, he might be reaching out to you trying to split the cost of a ps3. Of course, or he might just be using you.
You need to tell him that you are just as important in the relationship as he is and that you feel like he is not meeting your needs. Tell him you need more ATTENTION and more self-sacrifice on his part. Say you are not just being an attention whore. Sometimes, people really DESERVE more than what they are getting. He probably does not even realize he's being selfish.
If he refuses, tell him you are leaving until he changes his mind. Leave. Wait a day. Answer phone. Listen to him cry for a bit. Then move back in and see if he acts better. Although, it's important you aren't actually being selfish yourself, or he might resent you. It does not sound like that's the case. He should be giving you attention. That's kind of the point in a relationship.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2009): You need to sit him down and tell him how you are feeling. I know you have told him but you need to tell him again
Some people can just carry on the way with things are when they are happy. You need to get your side across to him.
Tell him that just because you are living together doesn't mean that you don't need some 'dates' and some quality time.
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (30 December 2009):
Then end it now. Don't wait any longer. He doesn't seem all that into you, and you're not happy, so end it now rather than later.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2009): If I were you, I'd leave him. He just doesn't sound like a real man who respects or knows how to treat a woman right. All women deserve better than that.
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