A
female
age
36-40,
*adyCorsair
writes:I'm nearly 26 and due to a bad breakup over a year ago, I'm living at home. Since then, my Mum and I have been arguing a lot. I'm dating someone else now, and I spend quite a lot of time with him. The main argument is that I don't 'care' about my Mum, when I do. She says that I never bother with her and treat her as a convenience, but I can't see how. Even my boyfriend says I'm always thinking and worrying about her. She says I'd choose him over her, and it's not a case of that. I love them both in different ways, obviously. I spend a couple days a week at home with her, and she goes out every weekend if she's not working with her partner. Last week, we spent an evening together, and agreed to do it more often. Then, on New Years Day, she got all upset because I sent her one of those texts you send to everyone to say Happy New Year, and not a proper one. However, she didn't text me, and then I noticed she'd sent me one too! Her response to that was 'well, we're just going around in circles now as both of us think we're in the right.'My bf and I are getting our own place in the near future, but I don't want these arguments to be the reason I leave. She does have reason for feeling I put my bf first, because I've been a little obsessive over previous bfs, but I'm not that way any more. I also suffer from depression, quite severely, and when she complained that I never contact her, I pointed out that I call her at least twice a day. Her response was that I just call her to 'moan' about my problems. Can anyone please give me some advise as to how to permanently resolve this argument? It's driving me mad as I love my Mum to bits, and I can't rest until it's sorted out. Thank you
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2010): It seems your mum is a bit controlling-like mine. I too live at home and cant wait to move out as nothing i do seems good enough for her.
I dont really have any advice but good luck. I honestly believe its a mothers perogative to guilt trip their kids nad the more you let her see it bothers you the more she will do it.
x
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (2 January 2010):
 Two adult women who live in the same house will fight.
It's a law of nature. As soon as you move out the relationship will heal. You will still be texting and calling her, but she will look forward to it more. She will even ask you to come over and hang out. The best thing to do is to give her little presents. Even just service for her like folding her laundry or cooking for her. That will keep you both happy until you can get into an easier position.
FA
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