| Latest articles: Gifts
No replies yet... 4 April 2018: This article is prompted by a question about take out soup. The OP felt slighted by her Boyfriend's offering. The subject is deeply symbolic, and crucial to a major love language and an important emotional need. The "Is the size of the take out ...
An old Uncle muses
No replies yet... 30 March 2017: My style of posting has been going through some changes and I thought I should share what's going on and why these changes. I'm rapidly moving into empty nest. I have 2 Daughters still living at home and they are both looking for their on place. ...
10 ways a guy can get himself kicked to the cur10 ways a guy can get himself kicked to the curbb
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
29 August 2014: Cindy wrote an excellent article:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/ten-best-ways-for-a-woman-to-be.html I felt that the article needed a counterpoint for the guys. I've sure read about a lot of guys mistakes and while I'm sure I will miss some, he...
Rejection
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 October 2013: I just commented on a post by a guy who had a long history of rejection. The post tickled my memory all the way back to Junior High School (12 years of age). I was rejected a lot. I've got to say that out of the 15 or so girls in my class 10 ...
Wanted: Unattached Male
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
22 October 2010: I stumbled onto a news article online that has got me thinking. It was so much like a question here on "Dear Cupid". The author had just been through a breakup and was Writing advice based on her experience. She entitled the article something ...
Confessions of an Agony Uncle
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2009: On the 4th of November 2008 I signed up for a name and posted my first answer on this site. It was some quiet advice on career choices. Last night I posted my 100th. Just a bit of general advice on sex. In between I've gotten my ire up about ...
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I am torn between my wife and my lover
Q. Should I leave after 13 years? I have a 4 year old and a 3 month. I am a 32 year old male I've been with my current girl friend for 13 years we never married. I will refer to her as my wife. I have had my lover for 3 years. off for 1 and on for a...
A. 8 February 2010: You know when we write these things, we think we are writing to one person. I guess in this case we should have known that it was possible the other person would find it. Of course we usually only get one side of the story. So now i need to ... (read in full...)
How do I figure out which employee to cut?
Q. The company I work for needs to down size my office by one position. Since I'm the manager it's up to me to figure out which position can be eliminated and create a strategy for re-directing the work load to the other 4 workers. There are two ...
A. 18 December 2009: As an employer. Fire the one that takes up your time. You will need more time after you downsize. I know you want to think about the peoples needs, I have the same problem. In the end you are there to get a certain amount of work done. That is ... (read in full...)
How can I accept that I can never be hot for my b/f?
Q. I'm not a hot and sexy female. I know this because ever since I hit puberty, I've lacked the attention my friends got. Then I got a boyfriend, and I felt secure... until time passed, we started getting more comfortable with each other and I started ...
A. 10 December 2009: Dear original poster anonymous,
Nice Rant. I read through the whole rather long post and enjoyed it. I think actually writing it was more good for you than the answers you will get.
I do think you need answers from Guys. I hope that an o... (read in full...)
We have to start standing up for us Guys!
Q. Why is it that every one thinks that guys only want sex and if you say anything your going to make the woman mad,what about how i feel?i would like to see women thinking about us guys the way we realy think about them.im a guy who loves the one im ...
A. 10 December 2009: Standing up for guys
I have often said that men think differently than women do, not better, not worse, just differently. I believe that many of the stereotypes we are talking about here stem from those differences.
I think that men and wom... (read in full...)
Do women like short, skinny men?
Q. are there any wemen out there who go for short skinny men??...
A. 10 December 2009: K c100,
Drat, I'm short, fat, balding, and can't spell.
If you browse around on a dating website you will find a majority of listings are looking for a man 5' 10" or taller.
You will also find men looking for women with "good height/we... (read in full...)
Woops, wrong name, wrong guy, wrong time
Q. I met a really cool guy online in Sept. and he lives far away. It was going really well, and then I dated someone else I met a little later who lived closer. I felt guilty as I didn't love the second guy, and when we were intimate, I called him by ...
A. 9 December 2009: Wow that is quite a hurtful thing you did to two guys. You are not the first, and won't be the last. It is rare indeed for a guy in such a young relationship to be able to forgive you for this. If he is prideful at all he may never forgive you. ... (read in full...)
Does anyone maybe know why I had this dream and what it means?
Q. Does anyone maybe know why I had this dream. So it started out with me sitting with my friends and then a guy came over to sit with us. The guy which we will call um Jerami (fake name for the story). So Jerami and I started talking and that...
A. 9 December 2009: Sounds like a straight up erotic dream. Just your libido reminding you that it has been awhile.
There are some interesting symbols although. The dream could represent some aspect of your personality that you have rejected, but are now consider... (read in full...)
Should I tell the guy I like I think his friend is a creep?
Q. i like this guy and he likes me but its like forbidden love declared by our parents. anyways him and his friend stayed at my house after i had a party and hes been creepin on me ever since and i dont want to hurt the guy i likes feelings should i ...
A. 8 December 2009: his creepy friends are the reason that your parents don't like him. Remember "if you swim with the sharks then you are a shark. And, if you sleep with the dogs you'll get fleas.
Telling him that his friend is making unwanted advances is appro... (read in full...)
I dreamed of a boy I no longer have a crush on. What does it mean?
Q. What does this dream mean? It starts out Dylan(the guy I used to crush on who's a year older than me) was in my house and I was in the backyard walking to school. I see him and decide sinse my parents aren't home I will just skip school and hang...
A. 8 December 2009: Your dream is full of symbols relating to freedom. Either you are looking for freedom, or enjoying an unusual level of it.
the ex boyfriend is probably just your acceptance that some aspects of your former relationship were good and acceptab... (read in full...)
If you're not dating a guy, how far is too far?
Q. If you and a guy start talking and yournot going out yet, how far is tooo far? Are you aloud to make out with him or go farther? Or should you wait until your going out. Should you hold of to give a blowjob or have sex? HELP!...
A. 8 December 2009: "No relationship" means he is not "for real". It means he is not committed to you. Using a friend to get the information from him, means you don't trust him enough yet.
I'm assuming that you are quite inexperienced, due to the nature of your ... (read in full...)
He's always trying to use me for sex... but could it be different this time?
Q. I have known this guy for about 4 or so years...he has always been the guy to usually want some..he's had girlfriends and such in these years but whenever they would break up he would always come talking to me again..usually wanting to hook up or ...
A. 7 December 2009: If he is sincere, and I have doubts, he certainly needs some instruction. Lock the pantry and the purse. Tell him what you want. Not "hanging out", dates. Dates need not be expensive but they should show that he has put time and effort into ... (read in full...)
Just found out my boyfriend called my ugly and a dog to his friends after sleeping with me...
Q. I recently started dating my best friend. We have been together a couple months, I know it was wrong of me but i went on his facebook and I found a conversation between him and someone. My best friend and I slept together a couple times a few years ...
A. 7 December 2009: This is all so wrong.
First the past is one of the only ways we have to predict the future.
Second, a best friend doesn't use you and brag about it.
Third, a best friend doesn't say hurtful things about you to make themselves look good.
... (read in full...)
What is the average age people get their first kiss?
Q. what is the average age people get there first kiss i think theres this social status there such as "go for it perverts?age 12-13'' ''mr. popular age 12,13. ''not losers but not popular 13,14 ''losers 'nerds' 15,16. tell me if im wrong im probably ...
A. 7 December 2009: I should talk to my wife about this. Could be an interesting conversation. Mine was at 15 or 16. Hers was at 12. So I was a nerd, but I got lucky and landed a pervert. She has never expresses regret at starting so soon. I wouldn't say I regret ... (read in full...)
If you're not dating a guy, how far is too far?
Q. If you and a guy start talking and yournot going out yet, how far is tooo far? Are you aloud to make out with him or go farther? Or should you wait until your going out. Should you hold of to give a blowjob or have sex? HELP!...
A. 7 December 2009: I've become a believer that physical intimacy follows after emotional intimacy. It is important for an inexperienced person to build a relationship of trust before opening themselves to the exposure of intimate physical relations.
I guess wh... (read in full...)
Sex... doggy style!
Q. Hi, my new bf wants to have sex doggy style and he keeps asking me. I haven't done it like that before (it just never appealed to me and my last bf preferred other positions) but my new bf seems to really want it. I told him i didnt like that pos...
A. 7 December 2009: Only thing you girls forgot to mention is that this position can pump a lot of air into her. The air will escape easily, with some rather embarrassing sounds. Of course if he is experienced with this position he won't be surprised.
FA... (read in full...)
My ideas of my ideal man are very vague, I can't decide what I want
Q. I need a little advice. I realized today that my string of bad relationships has never given me the opportunity to see what it's like to be treated well by a man. I have no idea what it feels like. I've considered joining a dating website to see ...
A. 3 December 2009: This is going to sound weird coming from a guy. Do you like romantic movies? Is there a character that makes you want to swoon? I know they are all fantasies, and that combination of traits doesn't exist in reality. They can however help you ... (read in full...)
Blood drops in my urine, what could this be?
Q. hi this morning i had blood drops in my urine after 3 to 4 drops the urine went clear this happened the whole day i went 8 to 10 time to urine each and every time what could be the reason.please help i am afraid.i havent masturbated for ...
A. 3 December 2009: or a prostate gland infection . . . .
Blood in the urine is a see the doctor symptom.
That makes three.
FA... (read in full...)
He thought I was playing games, so now I think he is playing me!
Q. "Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen"...I think the guy I like is doing this to me, cuz the past few weeks he was really attentive towards me and showing huge interest..then all of a sudden he is ignoring me...I also think he got this advice from ...
A. 3 December 2009: Let's see 5 days till the end of the Quarter, It is just possible that he is too busy cramming for finals, and packing for Christmas break. What if he is in a LDR with someone back home? Or he may just have decided it wasn't a good relationship ... (read in full...)
My dad is getting divorced for a second time... Is it unrealistic to hope he could marry 3rd time lucky?
Q. my parents divorced when I was 4, and my dad remarried when I was six. now I'm eighteen and my dad and step-mom are getting a divorce.i have an eight year old brother and a ten year old sister by my step-mom. I am not upset about the divorce, but i ...
A. 3 December 2009: Hi again Evol Angel,
I understand how you feel, you want stability back in your life. Unfortunately after some 14 years, chances for reconciliation are very low. You need to be strong for your younger siblings, not be indulging in this kind of ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend of 17 years is cheating on me!
Q. My girlfriend of 17 years is cheating on me and its happend a few times in the past..I stayed because of our kids and wanted it to work..but now I am fed up with it...the thing is her sister has been there for me through this and is in a bad ...
A. 3 December 2009: Don't do it, even if you are officially single. This is a minefield. A FUBAR of gargantuan proportions. No good can ever come of this.
As a general rule, never date anyone who is related to your ex, friends with your ex, roommates or former r... (read in full...)
I'm afraid that my husband will never look at me the same if he witnesses the birth of our first son!
Q. My dilema is that I am currently 38 1/2 weeks pregnant and I'm afraid that my husband will never look at me the same if he witnesses the birth of our first son. He says he does not want to see anything and will just stay up north during the ...
A. 3 December 2009: Precious,
I know you already have enough answers but, when I saw your headline the muse struck. This is a first for you, so naturally you are frightened of the unknown. He is frightened too. But to answer your headline, instead of the whole po... (read in full...)
Husband has a fetish with my soiled panties!
Q. We've been married 11 years, together 14 years. A few months ago, I discovered by accident that he's been stealing my soiled panties and keeping them in his home office. I just happened to go into his desk to look for the car keys to move one...
A. 3 December 2009: 2boysmom,
Thanks for writing back. It is good to see that you have registered and are even answering a few questions yourself.
It seems as if research has really opened your eyes on this. I think it is always best when couples share al... (read in full...)
Love triangle, my boyfriend, me and his sister?!?!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and I've been there for him through a lot of family problems. He lives at home with just his sister (with no parents) and he's 19 years old. I just feel like his sister takes full advantage of him...
A. 3 December 2009: Thanks for writing back. It looks like the sister is already fighting the separation. I'm wondering if a family counselor would be in order. The sad thing is that the sister is not making herself happy. Without help they will have trouble ... (read in full...)
My ex is texting me, why, when he broke up with me
Q. why is my recent ex-boyfriend texting me when he currently has a girlfriend whom he starting seeing right after our break up?...
A. 2 December 2009: Naw, What he wants is to have his Kate, and Edith too!
FA... (read in full...)
Husband has a fetish with my soiled panties!
Q. We've been married 11 years, together 14 years. A few months ago, I discovered by accident that he's been stealing my soiled panties and keeping them in his home office. I just happened to go into his desk to look for the car keys to move one...
A. 2 December 2009: Good answers, so far. I have some to add.
He really likes your panties. He is having trouble giving them up. It saddens me that you are so upset about this. I suspect that he will keep borrowing your panties for some time. It is possible... (read in full...)
Best friend told me he loved me, everythings changed, now its as if we're not even friends.
Q. My best male friend told me he loved me 2 weeks ago, at first i wasn't sure if he said it jokingly or if he was being serious as he has confronted me about past feelings of being more than friends in the years i've known him. The night he told me...
A. 1 December 2009: Oh, gee! The genie is out of the bottle now. No putting it back in. He confessed his love and got in return, "the Giant discussion". He feels rejected. I do know that that doesn't make sense. Now every time he talks to you you are hurt or want ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be the idiot that's used as a doormat.
Q. I found out that my boyfriend has been sending texts to other girls of a sexual nature along with this he has also been sending texts saying that he wanted to be with them. this is the second time that I've found this out in the space of a couple of ...
A. 1 December 2009: He told you exactly what he told the other girls. His excuse for cheating on you is that he suspects you cheated on him. This is all wrong.
You don't want to be a doormat here is what you do. Tell him this is not an "open" relation... (read in full...)
What rights does my ex have to this unborn child?
Q. I am pregnant with my ex boyfriend's un born child and i was wondering will he have rights? when we broke up all he did was just be nasty to me and i dont want to see him ever again. what can i do?...
A. 1 December 2009: Laws vary so much on that. Here in the states, in some states he would have certain rights and responsibilities. My advice would be to see a family law lawyer. Especially if there is a free legal clinic there. Better to know your rights before ... (read in full...)
Am I not satisfying him?
Q. My boyfriend and I have a great sex life, but if I run to the store or take a shower he goes and plays with himself. He works 3rd shift and gets home, talks to me for a few minutes and goes to bed. He goes and plays with himself then too. He pretty ...
A. 1 December 2009: Hopefully I am not misattributing my information here. I believe it was in Dr. Alex Comfort's book.
He said that masturbation is different than sexual intercourse and also different from oral or manual sex with another person. Being satisfie... (read in full...)
My boss forgets I have a life
Q. My boss keeps putting on the schedule with out asking me if I can work. HOw can I in a nice way tell her I have a life? I also dont always get my full 8 hours she is always rushing me through my work. I am thinking about working a different job on ...
A. 30 November 2009: As an employer, all my employees want Friday off. I can understand wanting a 3 day weekend but why can't half of them do it on Monday? If i want to keep someone on longer hours I always pick the employees who are most productive. The ones who are ... (read in full...)
I want to kiss my girl, but my Mom might be watching
Q. I have a date saturday night with my girlfreind. I have dated her before and we broke up. We got back together about 2 months ago via email and have been talking on the phone. We are going to the movies and my mother is chaproning us. I want to let ...
A. 30 November 2009: Is there a more appropriate way that you can let her know you like her?
FA... (read in full...)
I am torn between my wife and my lover
Q. Should I leave after 13 years? I have a 4 year old and a 3 month. I am a 32 year old male I've been with my current girl friend for 13 years we never married. I will refer to her as my wife. I have had my lover for 3 years. off for 1 and on for a...
A. 30 November 2009: Something doesn't add up here. It took you 13 years and 2 children to decide that your girl friend who you call Wife can't satisfy you sexually. Now you have spent 5 years in a relationship with a "perfect" woman and you can't make a commitment. ... (read in full...)
My husband has gone impotent...what happened?
Q. Do some man goes impotent without any cause? Is there always a cause? My husband is 48, and he is impotent, he went to doctors,they didn't find anything wrong with him. They just say, oh every man becomes a bit impotent in their 40 s.Well, I can't ...
A. 30 November 2009: I'm in my mid 40s and suffer some erectile dysfunction due to type 2 diabetes. I guess my question is did the doc give him a prescription? It is good he has a clean bill of health. A general practitioner is probably not going to look into hormone ... (read in full...)
I want to use Tiger Balm as a Sex Aid
Q. I heard from different people that putting tiger balm on your clit makes the pleasure intensify. Is this true or just something someone came up with? Also would it cause any problems if I tried it?...
A. 29 November 2009: I guess I'm just curious why you would want to put a heating ointment on your most sensitive part. Does it wash off easily? I know, it was considered quite a hoot amongst high school boys to put muscle rubs in athletic supporters. The victims ... (read in full...)
Suddenly she wants to slow things down. What's going on?
Q. Please help me, I feel so lost and helpless. Been with my beautiful lady for three years now, discussed wedding and living together etc. Happiest I have ever been in my life. Recently she tells me she cant love me properly, says we should cool...
A. 28 November 2009: She is afraid of commitment, feeling a bit depressed, or interested in someone else. There is an indication that she has done something that she is ashamed of.
What can you do?
One, focus on her happiness. You will not be happy until she ... (read in full...)
What is the future of marriage with no sexual desire?
Q. Hello, I was reading a lot about marriages ,what falls apart, because of sex. I wonder how common is that ,that a man has erection problems in their 40;es? And what happens ,if their wife stays without sexual intimacy for the rest of the marriage? ...
A. 25 November 2009: Erectile Dysfunction is an indicator of several health problems that can crop up around 40. Diabetes, high blood pressure, heart problems, all things you don't want to ignore. So going to see a doctor is really about finding out why. The pills ... (read in full...)
He dared me to slap him and now he is holding a grudge against me!
Q. So I met this guy. We chilled and everything. Everything went good until near the end where he had to leave. I was joking around by pretending to slap him. He said go ahead slap me I dare you to. I slapped him, but not to hard. Now he is kind of ...
A. 25 November 2009: Women do things like this all the time as a "Test". You began doing an activity that he wasn't comfortable with, He wanted to see how far you would go. He isn't happy with the result.
The thing to remember is that this was a first meeting ... (read in full...)
Love triangle, my boyfriend, me and his sister?!?!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and I've been there for him through a lot of family problems. He lives at home with just his sister (with no parents) and he's 19 years old. I just feel like his sister takes full advantage of him...
A. 22 November 2009: interesting title and a long story. It seems that you have a pretty accurate picture of the situation. You are trying to decide whether to move in or move on. I really don't have much advice for you.
Every person you will meet, have met, or ... (read in full...)
Sexually frustrated new mom... help!
Q. My husband and I are very young. We have been together for two + years, I got married when i was 18 and my husband was my first sex partner! I just a few weeks ago had a baby, our first. I am very sexually frustrated, (you can't have sex for at ...
A. 20 November 2009: What was that sage advice, Sex is like eating Chinese food, The meal isn't over until everyone gets their cookie. Having been married for over 20 years, going through 4 pregnancies, ups and downs in libido, and lately health problems, I've come to ... (read in full...)
Oh my god!!! Could I possibly be pregnant???
Q. hey, i have a question. im currently on bc, and i got my period last weds. but yesterday, when i was sitting under the dryer at the hair salon, i started feeling really sick, and ended up throwin up. then i drank some water and threw that up too. ...
A. 19 November 2009: Did I read this wrong?
She had unprotected sex about a month ago.
She started a regular period 8 days ago.
A test is cheap. Check the detection range. But I'm thinking chances are small for pregnancy.
FA... (read in full...)
I was MIA for 6 weeks, but she broke up with me for an older rich man!
Q. So I've been seeing this girl for over a year. The status of our relationship has varied from lovers,to close friends, to 'just friends' to 'seeing each other.'. Around 6 months ago we broke off our relationship to become just friends. After ...
A. 19 November 2009: Dazey,
MIA = Missing in action
AWOL = Absent without leave
So he was "missing" because he was getting "action" somewhere else. She thought he was "absent" without getting "leave" from her. Because he was "absent" she will "leave". The r... (read in full...)
I was MIA for 6 weeks, but she broke up with me for an older rich man!
Q. So I've been seeing this girl for over a year. The status of our relationship has varied from lovers,to close friends, to 'just friends' to 'seeing each other.'. Around 6 months ago we broke off our relationship to become just friends. After ...
A. 18 November 2009: No, don't play games with her. What she wants from you is maturity and responsibility. She can't tell you that because then you would fake it. You need to prove to her that you are mature and responsible then she will be interested in you again. ... (read in full...)
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