| Latest articles: Gifts
No replies yet... 4 April 2018: This article is prompted by a question about take out soup. The OP felt slighted by her Boyfriend's offering. The subject is deeply symbolic, and crucial to a major love language and an important emotional need. The "Is the size of the take out ...
An old Uncle muses
No replies yet... 30 March 2017: My style of posting has been going through some changes and I thought I should share what's going on and why these changes. I'm rapidly moving into empty nest. I have 2 Daughters still living at home and they are both looking for their on place. ...
10 ways a guy can get himself kicked to the cur10 ways a guy can get himself kicked to the curbb
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
29 August 2014: Cindy wrote an excellent article:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/ten-best-ways-for-a-woman-to-be.html I felt that the article needed a counterpoint for the guys. I've sure read about a lot of guys mistakes and while I'm sure I will miss some, he...
Rejection
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 October 2013: I just commented on a post by a guy who had a long history of rejection. The post tickled my memory all the way back to Junior High School (12 years of age). I was rejected a lot. I've got to say that out of the 15 or so girls in my class 10 ...
Wanted: Unattached Male
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
22 October 2010: I stumbled onto a news article online that has got me thinking. It was so much like a question here on "Dear Cupid". The author had just been through a breakup and was Writing advice based on her experience. She entitled the article something ...
Confessions of an Agony Uncle
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2009: On the 4th of November 2008 I signed up for a name and posted my first answer on this site. It was some quiet advice on career choices. Last night I posted my 100th. Just a bit of general advice on sex. In between I've gotten my ire up about ...
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Advice needed. 15, pregnant and don't know what to do... please help!
Q. Im 15 I Am pregnant and dont know what to do.. Please help me? If your gunna judge than dont say anything....
A. 26 May 2010: Congratulations Lexi,
Good weight for a first child. Love and best wishes for you and the baby!
FA... (read in full...)
Advice needed. 15, pregnant and don't know what to do... please help!
Q. Im 15 I Am pregnant and dont know what to do.. Please help me? If your gunna judge than dont say anything....
A. 25 March 2010: Thanks for the update Lexi. Good to know everything is working out.
Online school is a very good choice. 20 years ago when my wife worked with young mothers, that wasn't even an option.
Keep us posted
FA... (read in full...)
My crush makes fun of me!
Q. Every time i see my crush he makes fun of me. He calls me ugly and 'manvoice. He is even getting his friends in on it. How do i get him to stop? How do i know if he likes me back? Please put answers!...
A. 15 March 2010: Hi princess,
Oh the agony of being 13-ish. Crushes and insecurity, and boys who barely know you exist. And even if they did like you they wouldn't know what to do about it. In a few years he will be kicking himself for the fool he is now. Bu... (read in full...)
Should I stay with my parents or move out and get a room-mate?
Q. Here's my dilemma? My boyfriend and I are 23. We live in different states, 800 miles apart. Right now I'm living with my parents, making $2,000 a month. I have $3,000 saved. But, I have $10,000 in credit card debt and $10,000 in student loans. I ...
A. 15 March 2010: I guess you are asking about the emotional aspects of this rather than the financial. You seem to have done some really great research on the money end. I suspect you are already getting "Fatherly Advice" from your own father, But I have a bit to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend kept his ex's panties. Should I do something? What does it mean?
Q. Hi everyone, I just found this sight and was hoping for some advice. I've been in a serious relationship for 18 months and we are talking marriage here. My guy is terrific, thoughtful, giving, considerate and sweet. BUT today as we were doing ...
A. 15 March 2010: I'm heartened to know that he has a pair of yours already. That is a good sign for you.
FA... (read in full...)
How can I cope with everything that is going on in my life right now?
Q. im 15 and a girl who said she was my bestfriend going out with da boy i personally tole her myself i like; nd my dad is in jail; my b/f nd I are on and off, but we know we love each other. my other suppose to be bestfriend spreaded a rumor a/b me. ...
A. 14 March 2010: One thing for certain, getting pregnant is going to add a lot more stress to your life. Adolescence can be a time of stress and storm. You are in a transitional period of your life. Changes socially, physically, hormonally, emotionally, even ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend kept his ex's panties. Should I do something? What does it mean?
Q. Hi everyone, I just found this sight and was hoping for some advice. I've been in a serious relationship for 18 months and we are talking marriage here. My guy is terrific, thoughtful, giving, considerate and sweet. BUT today as we were doing ...
A. 14 March 2010: Actually this really doesn't add up. In twenty years the elastic would deteriorate. And they wouldn't need to be washed. The panties are his. Either he isn't ready to talk to you about the panty fetish, or he put them in the laundry as a ... (read in full...)
I'm dating a guy 20 years older... he has erectile difficulties and an overactive sex drive!
Q. Please I need help! I am a confident atrctive young female I have been dating an older man for almost a year he is 20 years my elder and I love him dearley however we have problems he has both erectile difficulties and an over active sex drive I am ...
A. 12 March 2010: Two questions here. First he needs to see his doctor. Erectile dysfunction is only part of his problem though. He has some other sexual dysfunctions as well, based on your description. If that was all that was going on we would say get him to a ... (read in full...)
How to deal with a forced break up?
Q. Dear agony aunt, me and my girlfriend of eight months have recently decided to send sexually explicit pictures of each other. Before she could her mom saw the text messages saying what i wanted. So she threatened to call the school so we can't sit ...
A. 12 March 2010: You do understand that being in possession of a sexually explicit picture of a person your age (under 18) is a felony in the United States, don't you? This is a really bad idea. The legal aspects of this situation are just the tip of the iceberg. ... (read in full...)
I cant stand my colleagues eating habits and it is starting to affect our work environment. What can I do?
Q. Hi all! I need to have a moan about a colleagues eating habits. A colleague of mine has the worst eating habits ever! She never has breakfast and instead comes in to work and eats 2-3 packets of crisps washed down by a can of redbull! Now we work ...
A. 11 March 2010: BINGO!
You don't approve of her mother so you feel the need to replace her.
Don't worry about getting ill, your healthy eating habits will protect you.
FA... (read in full...)
I need to know what she is doing but she acts like she can do whatever she wants!
Q. Ive been going out with this girl for 7 months now, weve been friends since high school and hung out with the same friends for the past 3 years, we started dating 7 months ago, our relationship is pretty strong because she wanted to be taken by a ...
A. 11 March 2010: You need to decide if you trust her , or if you want to be controlling. She is testing her boundaries. Real relationships are built on trust. She has to be able to set her own boundaries, that you can accept, then you need to trust her to keep ... (read in full...)
Uncomfortable about going to a strip club with my boyfriend
Q. Tonight my boyfriends roommate texted me asking if I wanted to go a strip club with them and a few of their friends. He said my boyfriend wouldn't go unless I went too. It was already too late for me, so I said no, but he still wants all of us to ...
A. 11 March 2010: Wrong question, "How can I convince my boyfriends pushy roommate that I'm not interested in going and that they should go without me?" You have been convinced by your peers that something you know in your heart is wrong, is OK, at least for guys. ... (read in full...)
Does his reaction sound genuine?
Q. Hey all, I just found out my boyfriend, soulmate, best friend for a DECADE has been having what he calls an 'emotional affair' for the past year with another woman. I am one of those girls who has always maintained my high moral standar...
A. 11 March 2010: Emotional affairs can be like that. They are as real as physical affairs and can be more damaging. You want to know if his feelings are genuine. Yes he can be in love with you, even committed to you and still slip into an emotional affair. The ... (read in full...)
I cant stand my colleagues eating habits and it is starting to affect our work environment. What can I do?
Q. Hi all! I need to have a moan about a colleagues eating habits. A colleague of mine has the worst eating habits ever! She never has breakfast and instead comes in to work and eats 2-3 packets of crisps washed down by a can of redbull! Now we work ...
A. 11 March 2010: I suspect that she has a mother. I'm 100 percent sure that she doesn't want another. All you can do is wait until she gets fired for missing work. Most skinny people won't take health advice from larger people anyway.
FA... (read in full...)
What in the world does his comment mean?
Q. Have been involved with a man now for a little over 5 yrs and care for this man very much. I recently asked him if he was happy with what we have and he said that he was. I then went on to say if you're happy, comfortable, and getting your ne...
A. 10 March 2010: O. K.
I can see you need a translation here. In this case you have to take all the context into consideration. You set him up with question 1 then smacked him in the face with question 2. After walking into that trap he responded by parrotin... (read in full...)
What can I do for my 22nd birthday? My husband has to work.
Q. what can i do on my birthday?I'll be 22yrs my husband ask his boss for the day off but she said noooo....so what can i do for my birthday while my husband is at work plz plz dont say anything bad becuz i'm a good wife/mother and hate lim...
A. 10 March 2010: Hunnie,
I'm guessing that this is your first birthday as a couple. I had to work on my wife's first. Things are a little different now that you are on your own. Auntie Bim had a good suggestion for you on waiting till the weekend. It seems... (read in full...)
I have a big vagina. Is there anyway to get it smaller?
Q. Okay, before I ask my question I'd like to let everybody know that I know not all females look like the women in porn, not all of us have a tiny vagina like the way they do but I am a little concerned about the size of mine. My pubic area is rather ...
A. 10 March 2010: You worry too much. I think you are talking more about your Mons pubis, or your labia majora. Look them up if you don't know exactly what I am talking about. The Mons is a fatty pad and as you lose weight it will shrink as well. That is the part ... (read in full...)
I've met a guy online but he doesn't phone (because of the cost). Could he have other women on the go?
Q. I met a man online. He has a great job and works in other countries alot. We have been emailing on and off for two months now. We h ave only spoken on the phone a few times because it is $4.00 a minute. We have been emailing alot recently and ...
A. 8 March 2010: I'm guessing that you didn't write the title line. You asked if you are asking too much. No online relationships are full of danger. You need evidence to feel comfortable with him. He isn't going to be able to pay $120 for a half hour chat that ... (read in full...)
What is a guy's favorite type of kiss?
Q. Helloo guys, thanks for all d help so far:) Emm i was just wondering what a guy's favourite kiss is? Does he like being kissed passionately on his neck and ear? Got any other tips which I can do to make him want more?( except sex n stuff like that)...
A. 8 March 2010: I suppose there are as many favorite kissed as there are guys. Domo's answer got me giggling, but it might be interesting to try. EG Anyway onto my answer:
Kissing is a form of communication, and while I like kisses that are teases, I like tot... (read in full...)
Suggestions for lube?
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been enjoying tit wanks for a while now and she's really good at them but was wondering about maybe using some lube in the future but are unsure what type to use. Any suggestions?...
A. 8 March 2010: Holy Cow, you two can manage that trick without lube? That's pretty good. I buy Liquid Silk online, it is a bit pricey upfront but requires a lot less to do the job as compared to K-Y. I think in the end you get good value. It is condom and ... (read in full...)
Shaven or not?
Q. A simple question to ask, for both males and females if you please: Shaven pubic region or unshaven pubic region? I myself find shaven definitely more preferable, and don't say you like both, because you are bound to like one at least sligh...
A. 6 March 2010: It's not Wednesday.
FA... (read in full...)
Would you consider a joke about pregnancy to be a deal-breaker?
Q. Would you consider a joke about pregnancy to be a deal-breaker? my Gf and my friend both decided it would be a good idea to play a prank on me, which i found really hurtful and distasteful. i was out last night and on the way home she was text...
A. 5 March 2010: There is a lot going on here. Calico brought up the telling point. She asked you to be assertive and to punish her. She is testing you. And pregnancy is likely on her mind. You are emotional and wear your heart on your sleeve. She is looking ... (read in full...)
Abusers... are you willing to be honest here???
Q. Are their any abusers willing to tell the truth about why they want to hurt people they claim to love, and are their any abusers or batterers who want to stop but don't know where to get help, or if you have recieved help anywhere did it help you. ...
A. 5 March 2010: I was wondering if there would be any takers on this question. The trouble is that abusers don't see themselves as abusers. Perhaps a former abuser might step up.
I heard a conversation with an abusive man secondhand and his reasons would ch... (read in full...)
Attracted to older men...
Q. Hi, I don't know if any other girls 16-18 share my unfortuante, ya could say, liking for older men. By older I mean like 50. Well i've always wondered how older guys see it? I mean like do they think that these younger girls must be immature? Mus...
A. 5 March 2010: Our anonymous OP asked specifically for opinions from older men and got practically none. While I appreciate you ladies building up my ego, I feel a bit like the size 18 woman who thinks she needs to be size 2 to be attractive. I'll have to learn ... (read in full...)
Do most prefer 'curvy' women?
Q. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-is-it-only-the-mans-biology-thats.html I want an opinion from the uncles of this site.Hopefully men will be able to shed more light on this. Is it true that majority of men only like curvaceous figur...
A. 5 March 2010: disclaimer: I didn't read all the answers.
Over the course of my life I have been attracted to different things in women. My theory is that the woman that I have the strongest emotional tie to dictates what I find attractive. And indeed what cat... (read in full...)
I've always been attracted to girls but never their personalities.
Q. This is gonna sound pretty stupid. I'm 17 years old and I seem to be a bit confused. I've dated a handful of girls in my life but I've never really felt that "spark". I've always been attracted to girls but never their personalities. Suddenly, I've ...
A. 3 March 2010: One of the problems with being your age is that the really attractive girls can be shallow. You need to branch out a bit. Find a girl who has shared interests with you. Forget about her spotty face or few spare pounds. Get to know her ... (read in full...)
Attracted to older men...
Q. Hi, I don't know if any other girls 16-18 share my unfortuante, ya could say, liking for older men. By older I mean like 50. Well i've always wondered how older guys see it? I mean like do they think that these younger girls must be immature? Mus...
A. 3 March 2010: Actually I'm always quite confused by girls your age who would be attracted to guys my age. Since you ask, I enjoy spending time with teenagers, usually. I like to teach, and I enjoy giving advice. But I can't seem to wrap my mind around the idea ... (read in full...)
What is the limit of verbal abuse you can take from a boyfriend?
Q. Hi All! I'm looking for some brutally honest opinions/insights into tolerating bad behaviour from a partner. How many times would your limit be for verbal abuse or a partner who is on/off on/off always dumping you then coming back etc etc. I ...
A. 3 March 2010: Brutally honest, how many times would I forgive and go on. I've been hit once by a partner. I let that go with a warning. But I'm a guy, I was hurt but not marked. Ive put up with some verbal stuff from more distant acquaintances / work people, ... (read in full...)
What do you think about rebounds?
Q. Ok im having a little situation with my ex-boyfriend we broke in Oct. of 09 and it was kind of a wishy washy thing he never really said it was over and i never really did either we never really talked it over, one nite i went to his house to give ...
A. 2 March 2010: I generally don't believe much that I hear about rebounds. I also don't believe there is a set time to wait. On the other hand you may have your ex pretty well pegged. You made me think about why I don't believe in rebound theory. It could be ... (read in full...)
My wife left me for no reason and now she's refusing to talk to me
Q. My wife left me on Valentine's day for no apparent reason and now she is refusing my calls and pretending I don't exist. She has had a torrid life, her partner died in her arms when she was 23, then had a relationship with a dominating and abusive ...
A. 2 March 2010: Time yes, and a mental health professional. She has more than a person can bear on her shoulders. The timing of her leaving is a big hint. I do hope you got her something nice for valentines. If you didn't you need to apologize. You will need ... (read in full...)
Is it possible I am pregnant? We were very cautious so I don't see how this could happen!
Q. I had sex on the 20th of Feb, and we used protection of course, and i even checked if there were any holes in it by filling it with water. my period is due real soon and yesterday i felt like i had it all day but i didnt, and today ive been getting ...
A. 2 March 2010: I've never heard of that method of testing a condom. I'm not sure it would be effective.
FA... (read in full...)
Who am I?
Q. well, this is quite the tough question to ask random beings, but i am desperate for an answer i cant seem to find, let alone know where to start searching... Back to the question, i am 16, but i am a ward of the state (i dont have parents, i just h...
A. 2 March 2010: Actually in adoptive / foster situations it is much more difficult to get information. Also methods for getting birth certificates vary by state. In my state you have to apply to the state office of vital records, in the neighboring state you can ... (read in full...)
Why do guys act like complete jerks in front of their friends?
Q. Hi guys Apart from complete immaturity, why do guys act like complete idiots in front of mates? Was seeing a guy only been out a few times, saw him he was out with his mates. He was a total moron!!!! his mates spoke and were funny, he spent ...
A. 1 March 2010: There you go again assuming you know whether he was hinting or not. Of course I wasn't there so I don't know either. But, I'm pretty sure he is soon gone from your life.
FA... (read in full...)
Why would he need pills for erectile dysfunction when he is away from home?
Q. My husband travels for business. When he returned from a recent trip, the two cialis pills in his pillbox were gone. Should I ask him what happened to them? He keeps a password on his phone and laptop so I can't check those. We've been married 32 ...
A. 1 March 2010: I have to admit that looks like a smoking gun. There are other possibilities of course. He could have sold the pills to an acquaintance. He may fell less confident when he is unmanned by is ED. With Cialis' long lasting effects it could do much ... (read in full...)
Why do guys act like complete jerks in front of their friends?
Q. Hi guys Apart from complete immaturity, why do guys act like complete idiots in front of mates? Was seeing a guy only been out a few times, saw him he was out with his mates. He was a total moron!!!! his mates spoke and were funny, he spent ...
A. 1 March 2010: This question is a bit surprising from a woman of your age. You have had 10 years of dealing with men and still you don't understand that they think in fundamentally different ways than women do. As long as you continue to expect men to be ... (read in full...)
Advice needed. 15, pregnant and don't know what to do... please help!
Q. Im 15 I Am pregnant and dont know what to do.. Please help me? If your gunna judge than dont say anything....
A. 1 March 2010: Good Morning Lexi,
I thought I Had a few more months before I had to answer this question. Changing your mind about adoption is pretty common. Some times mothers change at the last minute. The baby is more real to you now and you are becoming... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said he would have me sign a prenup. What do you think of this?
Q. My BF if self-employed and his business is booming. He's also very ambitious. He tells me a lot about his work and the other day was talking about a client of his whose wife 'cleaned up' when they got divorced. He's also got a friend who recently ...
A. 1 March 2010: Dear OP,
Your post is very interesting. You talk about how you feel after and during this conversation. You said that talking about the prenuptial made you feel less a partner. It is natural for you to want to be his partner in every way. Th... (read in full...)
Does anyone use Nair on their arms?
Q. hey, does anyone use nair or something like it on their arms? does it work? what about hair regrowth? does it come back darker and thicker or just as it did before? does it grow back stubbly? thanks!...
A. 1 March 2010: Nads makes a product specifically for arms. I believe its a sugar wax.
Just makes me glad I'm a guy.
FA... (read in full...)
I look much younger than my age. Will it affect my dating life?
Q. Hi, I just wanted to know people's opinions on whether looking younger than your actual age puts men off. I am 22 but I keep being told I look about 18. I have had two serious relationships in the past, both with guys a couple years older t...
A. 1 March 2010: Hi,
I'm much older than you, but I do have some experience that may be helpful to you. I'm guessing that you look young because you have fine skin. Small pores, no need for make-up, innocent face. I could be wrong about that. It is sad to h... (read in full...)
He's using her for money!
Q. Me and my fiance have been together for four years. Where both seniors in high school. My fiance was layed off from his job and his money situation has always been tight growing up. Food, utilities getting turn off etc. My fiance is very good ...
A. 1 March 2010: You should be worried. Lets look at this from another perspective. Say he was a girl, and she was seeing a guy for money. What would you call that? He has a very loose moral code.
I'm trying to get a grip on your situation. He is a senior i... (read in full...)
Advice needed. 15, pregnant and don't know what to do... please help!
Q. Im 15 I Am pregnant and dont know what to do.. Please help me? If your gunna judge than dont say anything....
A. 1 March 2010: Hi ya Lexi,
It is good to hear that all is going well. So you are starting the second trimester. For many it is the easy coasting part of the pregnancy. No radical changes, not so overburdened. My secretary is nearing the end of her second t... (read in full...)
He doesn't notice me, but I like him
Q. Hi, Here is my "problem", I like a guy who is 17 nearly 18, i am 15. He doesn't really speak to me much, but my friend knows him well. I have access to his face book and i have tried to engage in a conversation with him on there. That hasn't w...
A. 28 February 2010: You are 15 he is 18 you live in different worlds. Of course he ignores you. He barely sees you. Suppose he does talk to you and get to know you, in a few months he will be 18 and there will be a legal problem with dating you, and problems dealing ... (read in full...)
Advice needed. 15, pregnant and don't know what to do... please help!
Q. Im 15 I Am pregnant and dont know what to do.. Please help me? If your gunna judge than dont say anything....
A. 27 February 2010: Lexi,
Congratulations on that milestone. It all seems so much more real when you hear that heartbeat. Thanks for keeping us updated.
FA... (read in full...)
Advice needed. 15, pregnant and don't know what to do... please help!
Q. Im 15 I Am pregnant and dont know what to do.. Please help me? If your gunna judge than dont say anything....
A. 19 February 2010: Lexi I feel so much better knowing your family is behind you on this. It is a good sign that your boy friend is being supportive as well. This will be a hard time for you, because it will separate you from your peers. You may feel all alone.
... (read in full...)
Advice needed. 15, pregnant and don't know what to do... please help!
Q. Im 15 I Am pregnant and dont know what to do.. Please help me? If your gunna judge than dont say anything....
A. 18 February 2010: That's a good decision Lexi and I am glad you are thinking of what is best for the baby. Are your parents on board with you in this decision? Have you seen a doctor? Have you found a good adoption agency? I don't want to be a pest, or stack you ... (read in full...)
Advice needed. 15, pregnant and don't know what to do... please help!
Q. Im 15 I Am pregnant and dont know what to do.. Please help me? If your gunna judge than dont say anything....
A. 17 February 2010: Hi again Lexi,
OK you have one person on your support team and you are having dialog with your parents. That's good for 1 day. Keep talking to mom and dad.
Let me tell you a little more about being a parent of teenagers. I made mistakes wi... (read in full...)
Advice needed. 15, pregnant and don't know what to do... please help!
Q. Im 15 I Am pregnant and dont know what to do.. Please help me? If your gunna judge than dont say anything....
A. 16 February 2010: Why do parents say these things. I mean I could see saying, "If you have a drug party in my house, I'm going to kick you out". You could justify that by saying you are protecting the other kids, and the home. Besides kids want to party, they ... (read in full...)
Advice needed. 15, pregnant and don't know what to do... please help!
Q. Im 15 I Am pregnant and dont know what to do.. Please help me? If your gunna judge than dont say anything....
A. 16 February 2010: With that amount of information about all we can advise is to do what the doctor says. Build yourself a good support group. Eat healthy, exercise, and take care of your self.
More information could improve the advice.
FA... (read in full...)
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