A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I just had a really masochistic dream and it's scaring me because I don't know what's going on with me and I don't want to turn into a masochist. Actually, I hardly remember the dream, but I remember quite well the sexually masochistic fantasies I was having in it. I think in the dream my boyfriend and I had hired a female hooker for a threesome, and maybe he was doing it with her. Seeing my boyfriend doing another girl in real life would tear me to pieces, and he'd never even do that. But in this dream it felt so so good and it really turned me on and I was fantasizing about being handcuffed and put in the closet so I could hear them moan and scream alone together in pleasure. I fantasized about her pleasuring him more than I've ever pleasured him and then me pleasuring just her at the same time. I'm worried that these masochistic feelings won't go away, especially about sex. I'm confused about how I feel by now, if I'm feeling anything masochistic at all, (it's like my emotions are numb) but just a few minutes ago I was thinking about I'd maybe like my boyfriend to speak verbally abusive to me the next time we do it, and do me until I was really hurting and him just keep going at it, and not touch me in any affectionate way during it. When really he's affectionate and really thoughtful and caring and I love it. I have a history of severe depression and severe emotional abuse and trauma, but I've been doing great lately...especially today before I had the nap. I used to have sadistic feelings about hurting animals but of course never would have done anything to them (ironically, because I've always loved animals), mainly in my dreams, and that really really turned me on and was just the greatest feeling at the time. I would have those sadistic feelings mostly after my mom would yell at me when I was younger. (She would yell at me and my family every single day for no reason and I had a horrible childhood.) But why did I have a masochistic dream, and why just now...Any insight into why I had this dream, or if I'm really becoming a masochist now? My only ideas are that the dream of seeing him doing another girl hurt me so bad that it was my mind's defense mechanism to make myself enjoy it.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (18 December 2009):
 Dreams are symbolic rather than actual. Your dream could portray a need for extreme experiences. Maybe you are looking for more adventure in life. On the other hand you may feel that you deserve to be punished for something in the past. The dream is trying to help you move past it.
FA
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 December 2009):
 I think your dreams is your "way" of letting out some of the repressed anger and feeling of helplessness.
I think it if worries you greatly that you seek a therapist.
Fantasy is NOT reality. Fantasies can be enormously kinky with out the person who have then being kinky at all.
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