A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi. Ok I have a question I no a lot of women would liked answered. Why is when a guy has a orgasm first its over they get up and go on with there day. They just leave the girl hangen they don't even try to finish what they started. Guys what if your girl orgasm first and just got up and walked off. It isn't right. So please help me understand.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010): I dated a guy a few months ago who did that to me (left me hanging without showing any concern) and that was the point where I realized he was a rubbish lover. I got turned off to the point I had to break it up. I suppose that behaviour would be tolerable from someone in his teens who is too inexperienced to even question whether you're satisfied or not. You could teach an inexperienced man if you really cared for him. But in your age group there is no excuse for that.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010): When I finish ahead of time and am willing to continue pleasing my wife orally, she won't let me. She gets upset and rolls over. She doesn't let me finger her either. Ironically, if she finishes first, she will stop me and get dressed or push me off and won't let me finish or won't finish me by other means. She doesn't give head or hand jobs, then she wonders why I stopped initiating sex, she bores me in bed with the same tired routine. She's uptight about sex and will rarely deviate from the traditional missionary position, yawn. If she does let me continue, she will soon say "finish already" (which is a turnoff and I just stop to avoid slapping her). My point, if your man is not helping you finish after he finishes, then he's selfish and should feel ashamed!
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A
male
reader, Archipelago  +, writes (7 January 2010):
PS I think I'm right in saying that it's the release of prolactin in the body (actually the hormone that encourages lactation in women, in men it serves to reduce dopamine levels and 'turn him off') and also cessation of the production of the hormone oxytocin (actually used by midwives to induce labour!) which makes a man fel randy and uncontrollably sexy.
I think that's right but I'm sure lots of other things are going on with a man after orgasm.
Will power is needed to overcome nature and to persevere. Easy when, like me, you worship women!
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A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (6 January 2010):
 So much misunderstanding make me add more light on love play.
Sex pleasure is confused due to duality created by religious philosophies. To be exact, sex play is not at all played between male and female, as it appeared on our perceptual vision. Most people have no ideas about conceptual vision. On the level of conceptual vision sex play appear totally different. It is like the shape of our earth, is appear to our perceptual vision as flat, and not as round, and moving around sun, etc etc. It is conceptual vision obtained through scientific knowledge make us think the real shape of earth, which is round.
Pattern is same on sexual matter. On conceptual vision the the real play is played between ' THE MIND AND MATTER, OR BETWEEN SEX AND SPIRIT.'
Mind is not divided in to male mind and female mind. Such division is not real. Mind is one, no matter who possess. Sex [matter] is also one, metaphysically one. Without this real realization, it appear as 'opposite sex' means, male is an opposite entity, which is illusion and it is encouraged by religious philosophies.
Mind is quite able to create sexual heaven here on earth, and in life.
One is bound to expand his understanding about true nature of sex organ. Nature of female sex organ provide an idea of foreplay, nature of male sex organ provide an ideas about 'power' or about 'energy'-if it preserve can allow one live in real heaven, and not in dream heaven.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (6 January 2010):
 I hesitate to chime in on a post with 13 1nswers already. I notice we had several women quickly answer that it is because the man doesn't care. Many were quick to follow with, most men are better than that. I think that it would be good for most men to read this even though it comes off as a bit of a rant. I especially liked the mans post where he fell asleep before finishing typing.
I do want to add my own explanation. We tend to think other people are pretty much like ourselves. Women tend to think that guys are essentially girls with penises. If you think about all the other troubles you have understanding us you will realize that we just aren't. I remember a woman who said "There is no such thing as male bonding, it is just an excuse to play". The basis of her conclusion was that she had observed "male bonding" and the men never talked about anything but sports. The truth is that in most ways we are an entirely different species than you. Especially including our sexual response cycle. As an example I frequently have a fantasy of doing something specifically after my orgasm, but it has only ever happened once. Because as soon as I ejaculate the desire / interest evaporates. Fortunately my wife isn't to interested in it. She prefers penetrative sex, so we have had to focus a lot on timing. I have to admit that there have been some pretty bad results. After some 20 years we have enough backup plans to make sure everyone wins. Also there are now nights that it is just for me. I must be greedy, if there is a night just for her I have to finish myself.
The best advice I ever heard was on that 70's show. The father figure said, "sex is like eating Chinese food, the meal isn't over until everyone gets their cookie." Due to the physiological facts it is a good rule that ladies go first. I hope you all understand how hard this can be for guys when you are so sexy and exciting. So if he is muttering last weeks baseball statistics, it is because he is considerate not bored.
FA
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (6 January 2010):
Not all of us do! :). But when a man has an orgasm it releases a hormone that can make us tired if we don't continue to be active. Make him work harder!
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (6 January 2010):
 Funny, it was always the other way with me. I make it a point to ensure any woman I'm with climaxes at least once whenever we're together, but I've yet to find a woman that cares if I do. I guess we're both just dating the wrong sorts of people.
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A
male
reader, Faraday +, writes (6 January 2010):
 Interesting that most of the comments have been predicated on its being an act of will on the part of men: it isn't. Nature has a hand in this and predisposes men mainly and women to a lesser extent to fall asleep after ejaculation.
To do otherwise is actually a steep hill to climb for men, but well worth the effort.
I used to fall into the category complained about when young, but as I grew in maturity and my techniques improved, I learned to major on foreplay and sensual massage, then ensure that my lady had several orgasms before penetration.
This also helps the age-old problem of differing times to orgasm for men and women - if she has been satisfied properly first, she won't mind if he cums quickly.
Now, I don't leave it there.
I will, no matter how tired I feel after cumming, always hug and kiss my lady as she comes down from her orgasm(s) to make her feel wanted, valued and loved.
No man should ever just roll off, fart and go to sleep!
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2010): I was with someone like this and then next time he wanted sex I told him no, because you are rubbish in bed. He spent the rest of our relationship trying to prove me wrong. So if your guy is like this then just tell him how pathetic he is. Say 'sorry dear but you just dont satisfy me' He may try retaliate by saying 'you too'. At that point laugh hysterically. If he is this selfish then forget diplomacy. If he was trying to be considerate then ofcourse tell him with love.
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A
male
reader, bharat mehta +, writes (6 January 2010):
The word 'orgasm' used in your question is not right wording for right thing. It should be: WHY AFTER AN EJACULATION DO MEN LEAVE WOMEN HANGING?
Here is the answer:
It is not men as such, but male as such [ this include male of animal species also. ] faced switched of their sexuality after ejaculation, for certain time. This is inherent character of ejaculation. No help. No remedy. No solution to the problem. It is written in the very fabric of what we understood by EJACULATION.
Man, { here do not means male or female but just "man" ] is intellectual being. So he has creativity. And, as a philosophic thinker, I used to recommend 'foreplay' and it is better if is lead without ejaculation.
Such foreplay will allow our mind to have unbelievable pleasure, almost divine pleasure. Such is also written in the very fabric of nature. Just as switch of sexuality is written in the nature of ejaculation, so eternal pleasure is also written in the nature of non-ejaculatory foreplay.
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female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (6 January 2010):
 Sweetie, not all men do that, some men are very attentive and make sure the woman orgasms(from intercourse or other ways). sometimes they even try an encore performance:)guys that practice "wham, bam thank you mam" are assholes who are only interested in getting off and basically masturbate with women. Hun, remember that all men are different and that you just haven't found the right one yet................you will:)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2010): Well there's not much TO understand. Guys that leave you hanging are selfish and only want to use you to get off, they don't really care about pleasing their partner. If you have these troubles you should confront them and ask them what gives or you should find a guy that won't leave you hanging. Most men really aren't like that though... I have to say out of the men I've been with there has only been oh I guess one and a half out of eight. ( I say one and half because one man was selfish like that, but the man who was the half... I dated him and he was only like that half of the time lmao. My guess is sometimes he was just greedy.)
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female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (6 January 2010):
 A good question there and it definately does seem like something men do to women more than the other way around - tho I have heard of women doing this too to be fair.
A few possibilities I can think of are -
Maybe self gratification is their primary goal.
Are too sensitive and losing their boner after orgasm so cant keep using that.
Some guys don't want to put their hand or mouth where their dick has just been. Some guys wont do that even if there dick has not been there.
Endorphins have kicked in and they are just tired and cant be bothered.
Maybe those who have done this can enlighten us?
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (6 January 2010):
I don't have an answer, but I'll agree with you that it's complete BS! This happened to me recently, moreso, sleep was important to him afterward. Talk about a HUGE turnoff literally. Needless to say I haven't cared to bother with him at all recently. His loss, oh well!
So either speak up or drop the dude. If you two aren't serious, just drop him. To me, it speaks volumes about a guy especially if he consistently does this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2010): because they are an inconsiderate lover.. or you havent let them know.
I always used to have that happen until I made it a point to let him know that my orgasm was just as important if not more important.. why you ask? because my new rule is
"if i don't get mine, you sure as hell aint getting yours"
if you are having this happen you need to make a change or get used to masterbation... cause without speaking out it will always stay the same
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A
male
reader, The Realist +, writes (6 January 2010):
 For some reason men tend to get tired ar
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