A
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anonymous
writes:My partner of 2 years is a recovering alcoholic. During residential treatment of 4 weeks she revealed to me that she had fancied her therapist supervisor. Nothing happened although she said if the opportunity had arisen she would have been tempted, she admts she fantasises about him. Some months later she had one-on-one consultancy with him. I have met him, he is a good guy, and his therapy is right for her. He indicated to her that he had relationshp issues and she said she could help him as an ex-counsellor although nothing developed at that stage.She received a text on Christmas Day. I was guilty of secretly looking at her messages and was shocked to find it was from him, out of the blue, mentioning his own problems. When I asked her who the text from she lied and said it was a girlfriend. I forced the issue and she finally admitted it. She sent back a neutral text.He has now texted again and she admits she likes him as a friend and would meet him but her crush is long gone. I am concerned that she will be drawn to a fellow alcoholic, she is compulsive, and he has said previously she is aroused by the power of a supervisory figure. She knows he fancies her. I hate the fact that she lied.Am I failing to manage my own fears or do I have a reationship probem?
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (2 March 2007):
 First, her therapist has crossed the line. PERIOD !!
He's texting her and she's lying to you about it. Hmmmm.....I smell something rotten.
She tells you she fantasizes about him and he shares intimate details about his life with her. He sounds like the therapist from hell. There is nothing "god" about him and his therapy is not right for her and her relatioinship with YOU.
Trust is key in a relationship. You trusted her, she lied to you. Then she told you she thinks about this guy. You have every right to demand they don't meet and that he stops texting your wife. You could proabably report him to whatever body governs his work. It's totally inappropriate and unprofessional. He's taking advantage of your partner, you caught her, she admitted it after you badgered her and now they want to meet...I don't think so.
Why doesn't she invite him over to your house? If you're her man, that would be reasonable. Don't trust them!!
Your fears are well founded based on what you know by her own admissions as well as his. Do not stick your head in the sand.
A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (2 March 2007):
First, her therapist has crossed the line. PERIOD !!
He's texting her and she's lying to you about it. Hmmmm.....I smell something rotten.
She tells you she fantasizes about him and he shares intimate details about his life with her. He sounds like the therapist from hell. There is nothing "god" about him and his therapy is not right for her and her relatioinship with YOU.
Trust is key in a relationship. You trusted her, she lied to you. Then she told you she thinks about this guy. You have every right to demand they don't meet and that he stops texting your wife. You could proabably report him to whatever body governs his work. It's totally inappropriate and unprofessional. He's taking advantage of your partner, you caught her, she admitted it after you badgered her and now they want to meet...I don't think so.
Why doesn't she invite him over to your house? If you're her man, that would be reasonable. Don't trust them!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2007): I think your partner is dealing with a common issue that often occurs when people go into treatment for addiction/alcoholism. It is quite normal to develop strong connections with others who share similar problems. In my experience, however, these connections typically last only a short while. They are helpful while going through the recovery process, but usually they pan out when life returns to normal.Don't be too concerned about it, especially since she was honest with you regarding her feelings. Try to give her a bit of space to sort things out. I certainly don't think your relationship is in crisis. I think that, if you manage your fears, your relationship will weather what is essentially a huff of wind, not a tempest.
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