A
male
age
51-59,
*akossa
writes:My wife started acting secretive so my curiousity kicked in to investigate what is going on. I found an odd number on her phone logs. I investigated it because of the odd time of the call. I found the # to be that of a guy she made a call to. I got all the info on this guy. How do I confront her with this info without sounding like I am spying on her? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, makossa +, writes (17 August 2007):
makossa is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your comments. I really do appreciate others opinions and views. I will take this to heart and confront this issue TODAY !!
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (17 August 2007):
 IT comes down tot he worse of the two evils...spying or cheating. So you tell her how much you love her and that you've been sensing something was off. Tell her you looked at her phone records and what you discovered. But, what did you actually discover? She called a number. So, who did she talk to? Maybe someone else uses the phone too. Maybe it's a friend, co worker, wrong number etc. The possibilities are endless. Did she call many times? Were they times when she knew you were not around? Did she talk for extended periods?
My point is this. Before you break the news, gather your facts. She may lie and circle the wagons, denying everything and being insulted you snooped. Once she does that, there is no turning back and you look like the guilty one. If you don't have your facts in order, all you can prove is a phone call. Then, you become the overbearing, jealous partner.
The other possibility is she tells the truth and talks to you. Play your cards carefully.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2007): If this was the other way round,she would probably spy on you. I have been through this myself,she has told lie after lie. I will be confronting her soon with proof. I dont care less that i had to spy. Confront her asap.
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (17 August 2007):
 You can't go on like this, you deserve to know the truth, so tell her what you have found. Do it soon as the longer you leave it the harder it will get, and the more out of hand things will become.
Like Mandy7 says you need to know where you stand.
Good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2007): "... without it sounding like I am spying on her." But you are spying on her. So the first step to saving your relationship is to admit to her that you have been spying on her. You will need to say you are sorry for doing that, just as much as she will have to say sorry for seeing this other guy. But if you keep it all in denial, I'm afraid that will not bode well for the relationship in the long term. You will need courage and rigorous honesty. It will be tough.Just my opinion, so take it or leave it. Hope it works out for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2007): Hi hun,
All I can say is tell the truth, At the end of the day you need to no where you stand, Dont let this be a worry for you talk to her and get it out in the open. TAKE CARE LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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