A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am currently in a relationship that has lasted for a few years. I am in love with my boyfriend so much but for some reason I always develop little "crushes" on other guys. Is this normal?!?! Or does this mean he's not the one for me??? Please any help would be great. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2007): I'm happily married and still develop these 'little crushes' on others. I never have and never would act on them, and I don't think it stops me loving my husband. We are only human at the end of the day and will always find others attractive. I'm sure my husband gets the same for other women!! I spoke to my mum about it and she said that she gets the same thing and she's been happily married to my dad for 25 years. As long as you're happy in your relationship I would say stay with it.
P.S I'm in the same age category as you so I don't think it means that you are too young for a steady relationship.
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (31 August 2007):
 You'll always meet others who attract you. You have to decide when you want to stop chasing rainbows. It's just an attraction. There's no meat to that. Relationships are built, attractions are feelings that relationships grow from. Choose the person you want to grow with.
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A
female
reader, danicalifornia  +, writes (31 August 2007):
It's totally normal to be interested in other guys in a relationship, you can't tell me he isn't even slightly interested in other women.This only becomes a problem if you act on your impulses. For example, when you start flirting or cheating this is a problem.If you're happy in your relationship you should feel secure enough to know that these are just little, insignificant crushes that you don't have to let have an effect on your relationship.If, however, you are unhappy in your relationship, maybe it's time to call it a day and start dating some of these guys you like. If you really think you'd be happier with someone else rather than your boyfriend, if it's really not worth trying to work out, then you should give it a rest.I believe that there isn't 'the one' out there, you meet people and your relationship grows into something special to be treasured and nurtured. No-one's perfect! Everyone looks at other people even when they are in the happiest relationship ever. You are totally normal, you just need to realise that these aren't real feelings - they're just crushes.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2007): I think it means that you are not ready for a relationship. You might be too young and still feel like you want to be single and have fun. Being single is fun. You can have a new crush every week. Everyday if you want! You can date different guys. Be independent. Not feel guilty about it. Especially at your age. When you get older, sometimes it gets harder to find yourself in a lifestyle that is compatible with singlehood. But at your age, singlehood is the norm.I say, you are young and you should be having fun. Get it out of your system. If you don't you might regret it later. And later on when you get older you will know when you are ready for a relationship. You'll just want it and when you reach that point you won't be so susceptible to developing crushes on other boys. (that is how it happened to me).
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