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... Send *rPsych a private message | | | *rPsych's profile:Hello, I am a 39 year old psychologist from Witney, UK. I am married with one little boy, and I work part-time. I have been answering questions on DearCupid for a couple of years as I think it is an important resource. |
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I am 11 years old and internet dating!
Q. well i am 11 and i talk to this guy on msn, i have never felt the same way about any one ever before, we went out a couple times. And now we arent going out, i want him more than anything else in the world. And trust me, i want alot of things! See ...
A. 8 July 2006: I read your post and it REALLY worried me. It is a little unclear from your post if you have met this 'guy' in real life or not - you say 'we went out' and then 'we've never met'. I am going to assume you have only 'met him' in cyber-space. You ... (read in full...)
Will a guy always get your number if he likes you?
Q. If a guy really likes you he will get your number from a mutual friend? Is this always correct. ...
A. 8 July 2006: Not always, depends on who the person is. Sometimes they wouldn't want a 'mutual friend' to know they fancied you in case the feeling wasn't mutual and they looked a fool. Sometimes they are too shy to ring you up if you were to tattoo your number ... (read in full...)
18 and I'm ashamed to be a virgin!
Q. Hi. I'm 18, I've never been really kissed (my first and last kiss was a little pash with a guy in year 4) i'm pretty ashamed because all my friends are no longer virgins and constantly ask me about who i've kissed and why i don't a have a b/f. I a...
A. 8 July 2006: You say "constantly ask me about who i've kissed and why i don't a have a b/f"...well there is an old saying that those who talk about it just aren't doing it...why would anyone be interested in your love life if they had an interesting one of their ... (read in full...)
14 and found "the one".... Until she broke it off
Q. Im kinda young (14), but i think i have found "the one". we went out for 4 months, and we were really happy together. Everyday we would talk in some way. but the last day of school she broke up with me because she is going through some tough ti...
A. 8 July 2006: There is no such thing as 'the one'...there are many...it would be a very difficult world if there was only one person out there for you and you had to find just that person - the human race might be in mortal danger if we were all looking for 'the ... (read in full...)
What are your thoughts on our baby?
Q. Hello, I need some thought and expert opinions. I have a baby girl and she will be turning 2 in October, and she says some words here and there and recognises the different words and sounds and actions, so the norm for a two year old. My curre...
A. 7 July 2006: Bi-lingualism should be encouraged at home because research shows that children raised in multiple language environments do better academically than their one language peers. Lots of parents get worried about confusing their children, but your ... (read in full...)
My sister causes huge problems in my family
Q. hello i am asking for help on behalf of my mother. the problem is my sister she is now 16 years old and she is totally out of control i just dont no wot to do to help my mum in the situation she is going out drinkin all the time and she doesnt c...
A. 7 July 2006: First of all try not to worry as your sister is enjoying the 'attention' - teens sometimes feed on getting a bad reputation. Your Mum has every right to worry but she needs to be the firm parent and stand her ground. First of all she needs to stop ... (read in full...)
I'm 22, married but have a spark with a co-worker!
Q. I am a married man of 2 years now, im 22 years old, and i have been through the ups and downs with my wife, and am currently in marriage counseling, well what it has been now for about a wwek is i have a co-worker that i have worked with for about 1 ...
A. 7 July 2006: (1) You are married and you have made a commitment with your wife - you just have to think how you would feel if it were her having a fling in the office. Glad to hear you are going to counselling for your marriage. You should identify that your ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with a younger girl...
Q. I'm 17, and I'm a lesbian. I've known this girl for just a little over a year next month, and I'm madly in love with her. The problem is that she lied about her age. she's not 15, but 13. I can't stop loving her, so what should I do?...
A. 7 July 2006: You cannot help who you love but there are two things to consider here. (1) She has lied to you about her age, what else is she not being truthful about? How does her lie affect you? Is she secure with her sexuality or just confused and will end ... (read in full...)
Hairdressing tips wanted for down there!
Q. I have a new bf and before him, i had never even been kissed!! i'm not planning o go too far with him yet as we haven't been together hat long but i have a problem that isnt gonna stop bugging me until i ask! As stupid as it sounds, i want to know ...
A. 5 July 2006: In the 'lust of the moment' I don't think men care that much what is going on down there. However, the shaven Brazilian or Hollywood waxing thing seems to be the fashion right now - it is probably true that different men have different preferences. ... (read in full...)
Guys... Did this man just use me to satisfy his ego?
Q. Hi all... I have a question for EVERYONE on this site... especially the men. I just broke up with a jerk whose very thought makes my blood boil. About 18 months ago, I was going through a very difficult emotional time. That is when I met this ...
A. 5 July 2006: You maybe angry about the relationship, but he sounds like a very mixed up young man who needs help if he truely is attempting suicide. You may feel hateful towards him, but clinical depressives are very manipulative and people with a personality ... (read in full...)
How do you deal with one-way-love?
Q. I am in love with a married man but he has no feelings for me. it is a one way thing.please give me some advice how to get out of this sitution and move on...
A. 5 July 2006: Glad to hear the love is one way - he is married to someone else and if he was in a relationship with you as well it would just be plain wrong and would never work out in the long run. This is a classic case of wanting what you cannot have, but ... (read in full...)
What is the difference between ICT and computing?
Q. What's the difference between ICT and Computing? xx...
A. 3 July 2006: Computing tends to be about the programming and software development side of things i.e. you have to have a mathematical brain. ICT is more about the user-end of things like supporting people who are trying to use the software, or building hardware ... (read in full...)
I hate my partners debt problems
Q. Hi, I've been with my fiancee for over a year now, and our relationship is good, except for the money situation... He recently got a settlement from an auto accident, and unfortunatly we had to use all the money..(3000$) to fix the car because i...
A. 3 July 2006: You might be in a relationship with the guy, but it doesn't mean you have to be in a financial relationship with him too! If the vast majority of the debt and spending issues are his then keep separate accounts, separate credit cards etc and take ... (read in full...)
How do you get pregnant?
Q. is there other ways of getting pregnant other than sex?...
A. 3 July 2006: You can get pregnant without full intercourse...babies are made by sperm meeting egg, and if there is sperm at the exit of the vagina (but no penetration) then it is possible for a pregnancy to occur.... (read in full...)
My married guy has made me wait 5 months, and he promised to leave his wife in 3!
Q. Will he leave her for me? For the first time in seven years I have met someone I really love. Only thing is he is married. The woman he is married to is 10 years older than him She is 51 and he is 41 and I am 29 years old. I have only been da...
A. 3 July 2006: 1. If he leaves his wife for you then you could never be happy in this relationship. If he cheated on her with you, what stops him cheating on you with another woman?
2. Maybe he isn't trying to get you pregnant, but maybe you hope that by gett... (read in full...)
Still seeing the ex is tearing me up inside!!
Q. My ex and I broke up a month ago, and we see each other at school everyday. Trouble is, I thought I was over him but everytime I see him my feelings come rushing back. We don't talk at all. When we see each other we just look straight through each ...
A. 3 July 2006: There are some things about this situation you can control and change, and some you cannot. Love is fickle in the teen years and you will no doubt date lots of boys in your lifetime. It is unfortunate that you have to see your ex at school BUT the ... (read in full...)
How do you deal with someone that breaks the rules of rowing!?
Q. When we disagree, my boyfriend tends to get very angry and verbally agressive. I mean shouts, swears, uses insults, aggressive body language. he says things he knows will hurt me like ' i hate you' or sometimes threatens to leave me. he's a lo...
A. 3 July 2006: It is just a question of him having a short fuse, and a little immaturity really. 'I hate you' is the sort of thing 3 year olds shout at the chocolate counter when they are not getting their way. However you are right to identify this as verbal ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong of me wanting sex with my parents downstairs??
Q. Hiya. I have a problem with my dad. In September, i am going to be starting college and my boyfriend will have a job by then, so that means we will only see each other at night, so we'll have to go in each others houses, the problem is my dad,he w...
A. 3 July 2006: I understand that you are 16 and think you have a right to a private life, but you are living under your parents roof and therefore should respect their rules. This is not a question of selfishness, it is just a matter of respect and families ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has period problems
Q. My girlfriend had her period last week and today she told me it came back. Is this normal or even possible? or could it be something else?...
A. 2 July 2006: It could be nothing to worry about, but she ought to see a doctor for a blood test to check her hormone levels. Early miscarriage is sometimes mistaken for a period. Some medical conditions cause irregular bleeding that can be mistaken for a period. ... (read in full...)
I broke off my engagement because of a row with my boyfriend's Muslim father about religion!
Q. dear cupid, i am 34 yrs old and was engaged back in 2003 to the man of my dreams-we were together for almost 4 years. Unfortunatley i ended the engagment because his father (which i might add is Muslim)decided to TELL me that if I were to have ...
A. 2 July 2006: Big hugs from Dr Psych! I understand how you feel but if he has another woman these days then it would be messy to break up that relationship. I understand that his father has strong views and that the engagement was between you and your ex (so ... (read in full...)
How can I get sticky-out nips?
Q. Hi, I'm a guy, in pretty good shape although I don't go to gym, I've got my flat abs my pecks although they are a lot more capable of looking even better, my question is, and I know this'll sound daft, but how can I make my nipples stick out more, ...
A. 2 July 2006: I saw this sketch on 'sex in the city' once where samantha pulled out some fake plastic nipples....perhaps you could superglue some of those onto your chest because I have never heard of nipple-exercises! Joking aside, I am sure there is plastic ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is heartbroken that England are out of the World Cup!
Q. My boyfriend is absolutely, totally and utterly gutted now that England are out of the World Cup. He can barely speak and I can't seem to make him see that it's summer, life is good, and that there's still fun to be had. Anyone got ideas how to lift ...
A. 2 July 2006: England didn't play the best, Beckham looks ill, Rooney is having temper tantrums and the Portugese side should try their hand at rugby not football...but at least Brazil are out as well - there is a bright side to everything! The Portugal team ... (read in full...)
I'm 16. He's 21. Is he too old?
Q. I am 16- my birthday was in February. My boyfriend is 21- going to be 22 in August. Is he too old? When i tell people they are shocked, i was when he told me but i am over that now. I really have never met anyone like him before......
A. 2 July 2006: It maybe ok, just make sure his motives for dating you are honest and noble ones! What I mean by that is that 21 yr old men may feel it is easier to 'impress' a younger lady such as yourself, and may also want a sexual relationship that you are not ... (read in full...)
My Mum caught me getting frisky!
Q. Okay lastnight i had my boyfriend over to watch a movie. Before he got here my mom told me she would prefer if we didnt go in my room,but i talked her into it and i told her i would leave my bedroom door wide open,just because i wanted to cuddle ...
A. 1 July 2006: Well you got caught and all you can do is say sorry, and hope that in time she forgives you. I dont know how old you are, but I suppose it is only fair to respect your parents wishes and not get frisky at home. There are plenty of other places you ... (read in full...)
Can I get pregnant from oral sex?
Q. can i get pregnant thru swallowing my bfs seamen?...
A. 1 July 2006: Put simply...no. ... (read in full...)
I am really confused about erections...what causes them?
Q. hi, i am really confused about erections. i am 14 and i dont really understand why boys get erections and what causes them? also how do u know when a boy has an erection? and why do i see boys sometimes touching their willie? they feel it and move ...
A. 1 July 2006: How do you know when guys have them?...well they try to desperately hide the fact in public if they are feeling embarrassed about it. Sometimes you can see through clothing but not always, and it is perhaps not the healthiest way to start a ... (read in full...)
My family accuses me of stealing money from them...why do they do this?
Q. My family accuses me of stealing money from them...First, my mom then my sister....My mom had 100 dollars stole from her and now my sister had money come up missing. She blamed it on me because she left her purse on the front porch..... That would ...
A. 1 July 2006: It could be because your sister is being the light-fingered one and trying to deflect the blame away onto you...after all you do say it is odd to leave your purse on the porch! You could always leave a 'honey trap' of some kind to see if there is a ... (read in full...)
I'm 13 and............. hate my family!
Q. Im 13 and I hate my family so much.Everyone else my age really likes their family but I hate mine.I can't stand to be in the same room as them!When Im watching telly and a family member comes in I just get up and watch telly in the kitchen.I hate ...
A. 1 July 2006: Well they do say you can choose your friends and not your family! You are at an age where you are developing some personal independence and sometimes that can cause tension if parents disagree and try to impose rules or control situations. However, ... (read in full...)
I'm 13.......... and only know one boy!
Q. Im 13 and I only know 1 boy!Im going out with him but I want to broaden my horizons and meet new people (preferably boys),Its not that i want to cheat or anything its just....Well i want to know more boys as Im beggining to feel trapped only knowing ...
A. 1 July 2006: You are 13...not 31...don't panic as boys were a strange alien species when I was your age...I sometimes think they still are. Just relax and be yourself - let the boy 'friends' come to you...if you want to socialise with male company then develop ... (read in full...)
I want to get into office work but am stuck in catch-22 they want experience but I don't have any!
Q. hey guys, I've just left school (in UK aged 18) and i dont have any exceptional grades, just a few Intermediate 2 grades and pending higher grades. I want to get into office work, receptionist office junior, administrator etc. The thing is, offi...
A. 1 July 2006: Look out for modern apprenticeships...I saw one advertised in my local paper the other day for administration. They train you as well as employ you. You can join one up to the age of 24 years. Ask at your job centre or careers advice centre for ... (read in full...)
My daughter, in 6th form (UK) received a 1hr detention - is this normal?
Q. My daughter is the sixth form and received a 1 hour detention today for not doing her homework. Is it normal for sixth formers to be given detention? This is the first detention my daughter has had while at school and I am surprised by it....
A. 1 July 2006: I have heard of schools issuing detentions and various other penalties to 6th formers in the past. It isn't about the fact they are in non-compulsory education but about the schools rules of pupil conduct (attendance, homework etc). I personally ... (read in full...)
I'm 13... And tired all the freaking time!
Q. I am 13, and quite far on in my teenage development. I get 8 or more hours of sleep a night. However, I feel completely shattered all of the time. I often need to lie down after school for an hour or so, and even then I'm tired. I have to get up ...
A. 1 July 2006: You could be clinically depressed as fatigue is one of the symptoms. Different people need different amounts of sleep - I am personally a zombie if I don't get 8 hours. However, there could be a medical explanation for your tiredness - chronic ... (read in full...)
My ex's MUM keeps giving me hassle... Like asking me to have the baby DNA tested! Does she have this right?
Q. m due to have my baby in 4 month and my ex's mum wont leave me alone she's constantly ringing up and saying she wants a dna test to prove wether or not its her sons baby. i know the baby is his but he turned his back on me and said he didnt want ...
A. 30 June 2006: His mother has no legal right to demand a dna test - you are the legal parent and therefore no doctor would be able to do a DNA test without your written consent. However, if she persuaded her son to do the test then he could go to court to make a ... (read in full...)
HJ and BJ advice?
Q. help how do you give a guy a hand and blow job? please help im a complete virgin and need some pointers! thankyou x...
A. 30 June 2006: There is no exact manual of 'how to do it' and I reckon it is far more fun to ask him to show you...most men are experts in DIy hand jobs!
And they would be masters of BJ's if they were double jointed enough to manage it! Just relax and ask your... (read in full...)
My gf' cannot have proper bowel movemnts after we had anal sex. What's wrong?
Q. My girlfreind and I had anyul sex for the first time now she cannot have a bowl movement unless its small and painful, whats up? please help yours SK...
A. 30 June 2006: The sphincter muscles at the exit of the anus are very sensitive and very tight to prevent faecal incontinence. Anal sex can cause abrasions and general soreness around the exit that can make bowel movements painful afterwards. Lots of KY Jelly ... (read in full...)
When I married my husband I knew I wasn't really attracted to his looks, Now theres this guy from the gym whose perfect!
Q. Please help me I am ina real dilemma. I got married 8 months ago to a really caring nice man who is 8 years younger than me, but I will be truthful, he has never been my ideal man looks wise although I find him attractive but we have always got ...
A. 30 June 2006: If you are not happy with your husband then leave the marriage and if you were 100% happy then you would not be looking elsewhere. But leave the marriage before you start anything with gym man or anyone else as it could be very nasty if your ... (read in full...)
I have a degree in nursing - what other careers can I apply it to?
Q. I am an ex-nurse. I have a degree in Nursing Studies, but since I have left nursing due to being hard of hearing, I have gone through a series of low paid jobs, How can I get a decent job with my using my degree, but not back in nursing?...
A. 29 June 2006: You could become a research nurse at a University - the pay is reasonable and the hours are usually ok. Your experience would be valuable to a research post or you could think about trying to get a job as a health advisor - there are lots of ... (read in full...)
I've discovered my passion for medicine... But now I'm concerned my exam results and subjects chosen may not be up to scratch...
Q. Hi, i am a seventeen year old girl living in the U.K. I have recently discovered my passion for medicine and that i want to be a doctor, possibly a paediatrician. However, I have been quite wayward and careless about my studies for the past few...
A. 29 June 2006: There are lots of pathways into medical school. A colleague of mine did her degree in psychology, and then got offered a place at University to study medicine as a mature student. It is hard to get into medical school in the UK - you need excellent ... (read in full...)
I am falling for a customer at work!
Q. I work in a hotel as a manager, and we have a long term regular mon - fri guest,who i get along with very well. He is staying with us for the next 18months, due to work commitments. We have been out a few times with some of my colleagues. We seem t...
A. 29 June 2006: Although you like this guy you have to put the brakes on this right now before it gets out of hand for all sorts of reasons. As this is your place of work and you hold a senior position in the hotel it is very important not to step over that line ... (read in full...)
Worried about my health!
Q. hey guys, the other day me and my boyfriend got a bit randy on a country walk, and snuck off and had sex in a field.(not elegant, i know!) Anyway, we both just got tested for std's before it just for a general check-up. But since then, my vagina ...
A. 29 June 2006: It could be dermatitis as you can get rashes just about anywhere on your body - if you are usually ok then perhaps you have acquired a new allergy from frolicking in the pastures (I have an allergy to some plants for example)...but it could be a ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to contract an STD without having sex ?
Q. Can you get a STD without having Sex?...
A. 29 June 2006: It is entirely possible to have acquired an 'STD' without full penetrative sex - HPV is contracted by skin to skin contact, and cold sores from herpes simplex (which isn't always sexually transmitted) can be contracted by mere kissing when someone ... (read in full...)
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