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female
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anonymous
writes: m due to have my baby in 4 month and my ex's mum wont leave me alone she's constantly ringing up and saying she wants a dna test to prove wether or not its her sons baby. i know the baby is his but he turned his back on me and said he didnt want anythin to do with it i accepted that he's an immature waste of space anyway and dont want him involved with my baby at all and ive no intention of requesting child support so my question is can his mother make me have a dna test if im not asking for anything from him?she's acting as if he's a child when he's 18 so i think wether or not he has anything to do with should be between me and him but she interferes all time and it drives me mad i just want them to leave me alone. i dont know why she's doing it but is there anyway she could make us have a dna test what would she have to go through to get one?i dont want this lad in my life or my childs life he wouldnt do no good whatsoever it would be like having 2 children to deal with and i dont want the hassle
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female
reader, carebear  +, writes (2 July 2006):
 me again this woman wants to rule the roost tell her to talk to her son reg you and the baby and to stay away from you, your family and friends. also tell them not to tell this woman anything about you as she might try to use it against you. my daighter was in similar position she has a wee boy split from the dad and his mother was pushing for parental rights from a lawyer as he was getting legal aid , my daughter works when things were not going the ex way he stopped the case his mother was livid but it was her that was pushing all along and there was nothing she could do about it just like this guys mum so don't worry she had no legal say in anything and neither does your ex unless he pursues it you will get through this if you need more advice mail me and keep your chin up.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2006): thanks for the advice i know what your saying that my baby has the right to know her extended family and if she wanted to know her dad or grandma(god help her) in the future id explain why i made choices i did and if she wants to know him thats up to her but ive no doubt i can give her a more supportive and more stable family without these people
the only way i can describe my exes mother is crazy she really is when she first found out she was like a complete nutter for about a week knockin on the door of my friends house asking her questions and shoutin at my dad in the street which didnt go down to well to say the least.
it just annoys me because i come from quite a big family and my mum and dad were really supportive which i was grateful for but she makes it ten times harder by hassling my mum n dad aswell and they dont deserve it it wouldnt bother me so much if it was just me she was bothering but she does it with rest of my family and ive tried a milion times 2 have a civlised conversation with her but i never get to say what i want because she starts having some kind of hysterical fit and starts shoutin for no reason at all.
ive tried talking to my ex aswell but he's just hiding behind his mummy in all this like a little boy and refuses to help me out with his mum he admits she's not easy to get on with and he agrees with everything i've said but when it comes down to it he wont stand up to his own mother and im left fightin a losin battle with her on my own.
another reason is i wouldnt want her having an effect on my daughter and passing on a piece of her poisonus personality
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female
reader, willywombat +, writes (1 July 2006):
 Yeah, scrap what I said. I have the ma-in-law from hell.....
Although she is good with my son....
ho-hum, difficult one this.
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female
reader, carebear +, writes (30 June 2006):
some very good advice on this post but from experiance this mother wants to take over agree with dr don't let her if the ex contacts you then you can sort it out with him but again you don't have to as he has not supported you through your pregnacy if in doubt about anything seek legal advice. i think the mum had a dam cheek harrasing you at this stage and willywombatt remember your mother-in law lol do you want to subject this gilr to the same fate. no you have come this far go it alone you don't need this crap you ahve decided to have this baby without this guy you will be fine and do a good job all the best and hope you ahve the support of your own family and friends
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female
reader, willywombat +, writes (30 June 2006):
You need to slow down and take this thng one step at a time. She has every right ot want to kow if she is going to be a grandma. And her son is a child still at 18 years old - her child. I take it you are not much older yourself?
Look, this kid has a right to know it's extended family when it is born - that does not necassarily mean the father, but what has this woman done to you that is so offensive? Other than ask if this child is definately her son's? She will be it parternal Grandmother and there is a blood link there already whether you like it or not.
Get this woman on your side. She may prove to be a powerful ally and friend in helping you raise your unborn child, talk to her woman to woman. When your baby is born you will fully understand a mother's love and the legnths a mother will go to protect her child. Which, ultimately she is trying to do for her son now.
Good luck. Let us know how things go.
x
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (30 June 2006):
 His mother has no legal right to demand a dna test - you are the legal parent and therefore no doctor would be able to do a DNA test without your written consent. However, if she persuaded her son to do the test then he could go to court to make a request that the test is performed - of course you could appeal but ultimately the costs of the DNA test would fall on him (and its not cheap!). If he is not supporting his baby then he is unlikely to pursue legal action either so try not to worry. As for his mother - don't be bullied by her. State clearly that she has no right to contact you and that you construe it as intimidation and harrassment. Remain calm and if she persists in calling you then contact the police and ask them to pursue the matter, and get BT to block her number on your home phone (I had a nuisance/ stalker a few years back and they were brilliant!). She will back down then as she knows she has no rights over you or your child. As for not wanting the fathers support, well you need to give that some thought. Whether he pays for the baby or not he is still the father. He may have a change of heart later in life and want to see the child then and if he goes to court he maybe granted access - regardless of his financial contributions (or lack of). Your baby may grow up to wonder who Daddy is and want to find him. He has a duty to support this child regardless of whether he wants personal involvement or not - of course you should seek child support through the CPS. In doing so you are making him face up to his responsibilities (he brought the baby into the world after all and it may stop him scattering his seeds all over the place!) and you won't have to deal with him directly over this matter - they will do the chasing for you. The CPS are notoriously slow however! Good luck and try not to worry!
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A
female
reader, Angelicc +, writes (30 June 2006):
 Maybe she was afriad that if the baby is his that you'll hit him up for child support in the future or maybe if the baby's his she wants he to take responibility. Or...she may just want to be a grandma.
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