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I am 11 years old and internet dating!

Tagged as: Online dating, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 July 2006) 18 Answers - (Newest, 26 July 2006)
A female , *azria writes:

well i am 11 and i talk to this guy on msn, i have never felt the same way about any one ever before, we went out a couple times. And now we arent going out, i want him more than anything else in the world. And trust me, i want alot of things! See the thing is, he lives like 2 or 3 hours away, we've never met, and never will meet. I want him back like loads and i think i love him, but i cant because of the distance. But i really want to make him jealous. I need some good tips!!! I've tried loads of sites and i hope this one is the best. So please give me some good tips on making him jealous. and by the way, i've tried getting over him, but it doesnt work, i cry all the time, and i was nearly sick. So this is my last resort. Please help!

View related questions: jealous, msn

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2006):

ok im 11 and think it is ok to date like every one im my school dose it and i do it 2 so... u have to make him want u and make sure u dont rush stuff

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2006):

oh my god. The big question im asking is what made you originally want to internet anyway?? What decent person is gonna be interested in an eleven year old kid?? Do you have any idea of how many perves there are in the world, read the news!! What were you looking for, love?? god almighty, get a grip on reality and stop trying to be some fantasy character you decided to take the role of? just listen to what everyone'sa saying and stay away from the net before u get hurt hurt.

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A female reader, Wendyg United Kingdom +, writes (10 July 2006):

Wendyg agony aunt11 Is far far far too young to be thinking about dating let alone saying you know you what you want and you want alot ? You have so much to find out and so much to learn yet.. Keep off the net, its full of dangers especially for someone of your age, there are so many wierdos out there, many pretending to be the same age as you when indeed they are not!! Stay away, you are not nearly mature enought to be getting in to all this. join a local social club instead and make new friends that way and hang out with these type people and take up new hobbies, you cant possibly know what you want at this age, and believe me if you did men from the internet wouldnt be it!!

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A female reader, Angelicc United Kingdom +, writes (10 July 2006):

Angelicc agony auntTake pictures with you and a guy and just display them everywhere so he can see them. or Tell him how this guy is interesting you and keeps asking out. or tell him how you interested in someone else

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2006):

You need to make him jealous, jeez. Have you even started puberty yet? I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but I agree with Lostandalone. Your messages are exactly the reason why 11yr olds are too young to be "dating" people.

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A female reader, mazria +, writes (9 July 2006):

mazria is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I wrote the problem, iv read all the comments and apreciate what uv sed, but i do kno hes safe, my cousin knows him and has met him, but u c i need 2 mk him jealous, because iv tried it before and he liked me agen, but i need sum new tactics, please understand and please help!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2006):

I think the only problem in internet dating is danger, all sorts of people go on the internet and can say they are one age but really are another. If you know his real age for sure and he is around your age then your feelings are perfectly natural, does he know you are 11 and did you meet on a chat room or did you meet in real life?

If you met this person on a chatroom, not sure if he is telling the truth about his age then all you need to think about to get over him is that you don't know him, he might be a lier or he could even be a stalker. If you don't know him personaly, don't tell him personal information about yourself.

Making him jealous will not solve anything, it could even make you feel worse, if you have feelings for him then making him upset or jealous or hurt inside could make you upset or hurt inside. If you need any more help please mail me.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2006):

I agree with what the others have written. At eleven you are MUCH too young to be "dating" on the internet! You have a lot of growing up to do, emotionally and intellectually and in learning the ways of the world. THIS IS NORMAL AND PROPER FOR SOMEONE YOUR AGE!

Love and dating come much later on. Sure, you can have a crush on this man - its a sort of "rehearsal" for learning about the real thing - but drop any ideas about trying to make him jealous! Its not going to happen.

This person COULD be a much older man, and a pervert. It is much better that you never meet him, and forget about playing around on the internet for now.

Go enjoy your friends at school - girls and boys - and your out-of-school activities, but do your best in school with your studies!

If you don't encourage yourself to think about this person, it WILL become so much less important that a few months from now, you'll wonder why you ever were so torn up over him!

One more thing: do your parents know? If not, they should. Its their job to advise and protect you.

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A male reader, technofreak United Kingdom +, writes (9 July 2006):

technofreak agony auntgood answer b 4 stay playing with your friends stay away from internet dating

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A male reader, Lostandalone United States +, writes (8 July 2006):

Lostandalone agony aunt TOO young sweetie. Go get some candy, jacks and a jump rope and have fun.

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A female reader, bonym United Kingdom +, writes (8 July 2006):

bonym agony auntListen my dear, you are ELEVEN. You are not emotionally or physically mature enough for dating. Its as simple as that. xXx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2006):

hi ive got some tips for you telll him that youve got a new bf and he buys you all these present and takes you out and stuff like that. NEVER DATE OVER THE INTERNET U NEVA KNOW WHETHER HE COULD BE SOME PERVERT OR SOMETHING.

its good that your not meeting up because YOU could get raped or KILLED trust me and 11 years old is wayyyyyy too young to be dating over the net. i hope all goes well for the future bye bye xxxxx female (11-13)xxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2006):

Honey,

please stay away from the net. You only know what this person is telling you. What you're feeling is more likely lust. Your a young girl and hormonal (forgive me for my spelling). It's cool to have healthy friendly realtionships over the net (we all do) but I think you're getting to invloved and you're very young - I was your age once and very into net chatting. Stray away from the net and socialise more at school. Don't get too involved yet you're so little. And remember the real thing is so much better than some words appearing on a screen to make ou feel good.

Stay cool.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2006):

I think Martini could offer some good advice for this question :)

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (8 July 2006):

eyeswideopen agony auntAnyone who would give an eleven year old tips on dating on the internet or anywhere for that matter is way out of line. You are far too young to be even thinking about this stuff. You have your whole adult future for all of this and only a few years to enjoy being a kid. Being a kid is way more fun believe me. Now go play.

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A female reader, Angelicc United Kingdom +, writes (8 July 2006):

Angelicc agony auntWell firstly being 11 and admitting to date over the net isn't a good idea as your very navie and there are many pervy men and women out there. You need to be careful as these people like to gain your trust, make you believe that there the only who understands you and truely loves you. They do it so that theres no doubt in your mind that there someone you can trust.

Theres so many things you could do to make him jealous you could tell him how you got a boyfriend now or write in your display name how you seeing somebody but the best thing is to move on.

Your young don't rush yourself into a relationship they can bring so much trouble. you should just enjoy the fact you have no responiblity, your young enjoy that while you still can.

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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (8 July 2006):

DrPsych agony auntI read your post and it REALLY worried me. It is a little unclear from your post if you have met this 'guy' in real life or not - you say 'we went out' and then 'we've never met'. I am going to assume you have only 'met him' in cyber-space. You haven't said how old this 'guy' is but even if he claims to be a teenager then you just have to be careful. There are a lot of odd people out there in internet chatrooms and lots of people pretend to be your age when in fact they are much older and haven't got good intentions at all. It is also true that chatting to someone in msn can make him into your 'fantasy boy' - you don't see the bad side to him because he can be everything you want and you don't know if he lies to you about his real life, or how many girls he is chatting to in cyberspace or if he has a real-life girlfriend tucked away in the corner somewhere. The internet can be really bad for deception. I have worked with lots of children around your age who have got into bad situations because of people they have met on the net - this is why your post gives me the chills. I truely hope that you are telling your parents about chatting to people on the net, and that you are wise enough not to sneak off and meet someone in real life without telling your parents where you are going.

On the relationship front, your question about jealousy shows that you are not mature enough to have a proper relationship at 11...most people your age are not capable of it, nor should they attempt to as you are still growing and learning about the world. Good relationships are just not about game-playing or making someone jealous (romantic or friendship). If you have to manipulate someone's emotions to keep them close to you then it is doomed to fail in the long run. You cannot control the situation as this boy is miles away and not that interested. Boys are not as mature as girls in the teen years so you may not have that much in common anyway. You just have to realise that even if you had met in real life then the way you met may have got in the way of a good relationship. Basically, he was bound to not meet your high expectations of what you thought he was about from chatting in msn - you only saw the good bits then, and had a positive outlook of wanting him to be that way - you never got to see his bad side because you didn't know him in real life or know his friends or family.

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A female reader, Little_Laura +, writes (8 July 2006):

Little_Laura agony auntI know you're expecting peopel to say this but making him jealous isnt the way. I'm 17 and I've only just got a real bf. Before him, I was very lonely but because of this I can, from experience, tell you that eventually you will get over him, as much as it hurts. If yu play games with him, he'll go off you - guys dont like that sort of thing - if you are meant to be with him, you will be. BE PATIENT!

Good Luck - mail me if you need any more help xxxx

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