A
female
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anonymous
writes:Hiya. I have a problem with my dad.In September, i am going to be starting college and my boyfriend will have a job by then, so that means we will only see each other at night, so we'll have to go in each others houses, the problem is my dad,he won't let me and my boyfriend go upstairs to my bedroom. Which i don't think is really fair.I have been with my boyfriend for just over a year,we are noth 16, my dad knows v.well that we are having sex and he knows i am on the pill and we are having safe sex, but he say's he dosen't want it happening under his roof.What to i do, try and convince him to let us? My boyfriend's mum and dad won't mind us going upstairs so why does my dad?Me and my boyfriend have finished school, so we both have our houses to ourselves with nobody home, and we have both been in each others bedrooms. Do you think i'm being selfish by trying to have sex with my parents down stairs?
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male
reader, Blowfish  +, writes (26 August 2008):
If I were you I would listen to what your father says. He seems to have already accepted the fact that you are having sex, but he still has some issues about it. I think it's best to respect his decision as it is his house after all, and he probably still of you as his little girl. I know what I'm talking about, I also have two daughters. It is hard for a father to accept that his daughter is growing up and will eventually mature into a woman, with needs. But since you're only sixteen, and have just started experiencing with sex, please do not take the risk of being caught doing it by your father. At least not now at 16.
A
male
reader, gungass +, writes (15 July 2006):
Please remember. whilst you want your father to respect you both as legal consenting adults.You must respect his reasonable request that you both dont do it under his roof.
The easy response to that is to tell your father you will respect his rules.
And make every effort to stay within the rules. and dont get careless and get caught!
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A
male
reader, gungass +, writes (12 July 2006):
Seeing has how your parent have made objections to you about having sex in their house.surely you should respect that. dont assume because your boyfriends parents are liberal enough to permit it.you should not expect your parents to do so.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2006): as long as your parents don't mind, but remember try to treat themn with alittle repsect after all your parents house isn't a borthel so make sure they are happy with it
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (3 July 2006):
 Something you need to know. Almost all fathers HATE HATE HATE the idea of their daughter having sex. It's really hard to think of something that you would hate as much. The idea of it will make his skin crawl, he'll feel angry, irritated, and, well, a huge feeling of 'wrongness' will take over. It's natural. It's normal. It won't go away. For fathers its as basic a thing as feeling hungry or tired.
Put it this way. When I stayed at my girlfriends house when she was 24 and I was 23 we had to stay in separate bedrooms... because her father would not allow anything else. I know how it feels. But when i'm a father, if I have daughters, I'll probably act the same way.
So the chance of you trying to convince him otherwise is very small. Probably impossible. You two need to find other opportunities, and to look forward to when you have gone to college. There's a good reason to get good grades and make sure you get in :)
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (3 July 2006):
 I understand that you are 16 and think you have a right to a private life, but you are living under your parents roof and therefore should respect their rules. This is not a question of selfishness, it is just a matter of respect and families getting along together. I am sure you are still a baby in your fathers eyes even though you may feel old enough to make your own choices - basically, have sex if you want but not under your parents noses...when you have kids of your own later in life then maybe you will understand how he feels. I won't let my husband within 50 feet of me when we stay in his parents house and they are home...and we are married. It is about respect really, and lets face it there are plenty of places you can go with your BF other than your parents place for a little of what you fancy, or you can wait until they leave the house.
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