A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I am in love with a married man but he has no feelings for me. it is a one way thing.please give me some advice how to get out of this sitution and move on
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (5 July 2006):
Okay here's what you should do: go out with friends, do volunteer work, join a club, just stay busy but mostly just stay away from married men. Start your new life today. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2006): Leave him in the dust. If someone told me he had no feelings for me, I would go. I would not hesitate! I would find someone else for my interests. I would do the painful path of healing and recovering from this. Why?.My pride and a good dose of life reality. Added to that, I would be thinking with my brain, not my heart. In our lives, it is so vitally important to listen to what people say and how it relates to you and your happiness. This man is not giving you anything...he's a dry well. All the affection and love he possesses goes to his family. You fulfill one need he has...and we both know it's simply just sexual.
Hun, my heart goes out to you. You really sound so lonely, sad and unhappy. I can't blame you for feeling this way. Well, you know that he's using you as 'his bit on the side' so ask yourself..aren’t you worth more than that? I think you know that answer is YES..most definitiely. So now it's time to put that thought into action and start believing in yourself, more. You are a caring, wonderful person, but you have fallen in love with a man who is a cheat and a liar. Understand how love can work. Love works much like a drug on us. It makes us feel happy and alive. But you are not, are you. This is not love, dear...it called worship and it's due in part, to your empty feelings that stem from a lack of self-worthiness. You simply need to find fill up that empty feeling with something other than him. It's going to be tough to find that your own self-respect, but it will help give you the courage and strength and begin the hard efforts and work of leaving this married man. Think about what you are doing and why you are doing it. Break off this relationship today. You'll be hurt, you'll feel brokenhearted, you'll cry..you will want him back but you'll be better off in the long run. Eventually, you'll fall in love again... with someone who's willing to make you first in his life. You may be lost right now so I suggest if you can not quit seeing this married man on your own, seek professional help, asap.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (5 July 2006):
Glad to hear the love is one way - he is married to someone else and if he was in a relationship with you as well it would just be plain wrong and would never work out in the long run. This is a classic case of wanting what you cannot have, but also about poor self esteem - why else would you settle for loving a married man, when there are single men with uncomplicated lives who would love you back? Only you can work on those issues of self worth to make yourself realise that a good relationship is not just about love - it is about self respect, mutual respect and building a future together. The best thing to do in relation to this man is just to avoid him, and distract yourself at the same time. I am not saying date everyman within a 12 mile radius, but keep yourself busy and distracted with interests and socialising - this will give you personal confidence, and stop the overwhelming focus on him.
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A
female
reader, dancing_boo +, writes (5 July 2006):
OoOoOoOo...tough one sweetie!
My advice, disconnect yourself as much as possible to where he may be, having conversations that involve flirting with him, and keep your self/mind occupied. Get out with some friends.
Trust! A married man is a clear warning sign "NO ENTRY" He's signed material hun...and if he's influencing you...bad boy!
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