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*untyLaura
writes: I have a new bf and before him, i had never even been kissed!! i'm not planning o go too far with him yet as we haven't been together hat long but i have a problem that isnt gonna stop bugging me until i ask! As stupid as it sounds, i want to know how much i should shave/wax "down there". What do guys like and what is normal? Let me know what you do, please?Thanks for your help xxxx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, camille  +, writes (6 July 2006):
 You can't say things like 'less hair is best', some people may like a woman to be her natural self with no shaving, waxing, plucking, heart shaped grooming! Anyway, what I will advise Aunty Laura, is that perhaps you could ask your boyfriend. He may find it sexy that you want to have it how he likes it? Whatever you choose, if it involves getting rid of any amount of hair, be very cautious. It can be high maintenance to keep yourself groomed as once you cut/shave etc, it will grow back differently. Waxing is supposed to weaken the hair follice/root and so a good option. Shaving makes the hair coarse. Once you start, you have to keep it up, so if you can be bothered...... a neat trip will probably be a good option for many other reasons as well as to be desirable to men. If you use home hair removing creams, do it a little at a time, they can take more off than it may appear. Or treat yourself to a salon /beauty parlour visit.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2006): I agree with Yos. Neat, clean and tidy is the best but who cares what guys think. Do what you like. There was a time when a woman never had too many worries about how she looked down there. With the pervasiveness of porn images re: womens' genitalia-it's become a 'do or die' situation for many young women trying to live up to that fantasy. So Sad. Do a nice trim but do it for you. If you are happy with what you have...that confidence alone is attractive and very sexy.
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (5 July 2006):
 Just neat and tidy is good. For some that means 'au naturel', for others (the naturally hairy among us) a small trim doesn't hurt.
I wouldn't worry about trying to live up to some porn-induced fashion. That's a dangerous road to go down, in many ways...
More important, if you plan on oral sex, is to be clean. A shower resonably recently is a good idea :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2006): I think men do notice and care and guessing your age I am going to make an assumption; entirely ungroomed hair would be a turn off for him.
Basically, the less hair the better. If it looks like an overgrown weed garden, get it trimmed so it looks more clean and tidy. If you want to be more kinky, you could go for the shaved look, but I think you should leave that decision until you are more experienced with relationships and sex.
To justify my position about ungroomed public hair I am guessing your boyfriend main access to women's bodies is through pornography and some of the media.
These sources don't give a true representation of women's bodies, his conception of women and their bodies is, therefore, false. (Pornography is probably the cause of why the current 'fashion' exists (as DrPysch mentioned))
I agree with what WendyG has said about what is generally "normal" hopefully this reply explains more why guys generally like what they do.
PS if he asks you to shave any thing, ask him if he would do the same for you, if only to see his reaction, lol.
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reader, Wendyg +, writes (5 July 2006):
 I think most men dont pay attention lol.. But so longs its neat then i dont see there is an issue. its up to you and how you feel comfortable remember, not what the man thinks, but on the other hand if you wanted to do it for him then maybe ask him next time an ad for veet or something is on and just say something casual like, do you like woman that shave down there ? and build the convo from there... Each one of us has a different taste, some men like it totally shaved, some like it neat, some like it when you just do your bikini area, some even like it hairy believe it or not... all are different. so maybe as i say, keep it trimmed a little and nice a neat and do the bikini area and as things progress you can try out different things! But be comfortable about it yourself first so that you are happy to do it.
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (5 July 2006):
 In the 'lust of the moment' I don't think men care that much what is going on down there. However, the shaven Brazilian or Hollywood waxing thing seems to be the fashion right now - it is probably true that different men have different preferences. If you are worried, just ask your man what he likes nearer the time when you think you maybe entering a sexual relationship.
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