| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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I had a one-night=stand, he said he would call and didn't. How long should I wait before I delete him as a friend?
Q. So, I had an unplanned one night stand on Sunday. I normally never do one night stands. Only did it once before. I have heard so much from friends about guys being all nice and then never calling back and that has been my experience too last time, ...
A. 9 July 2012: HA! I knew it! Come Sunday and he sends the text. He's just slow.
If you want to take things slow you can take it slow with him. You don't have to have sex with him again if you don't feel like it. Just because you did it once already doesn't ... (read in full...)
Can someone please define what typifies a bi-sexual girl? I just don't know if I am bisexual
Q. Okay so I'm 20 years old and I'm in need of help in defining if bisexual, I've been thinking about this for a while now I'm in a 4year relationship with my bf, I've never been with a women in my life but, I get turned on mor by like women than men...
A. 8 July 2012: You got to decide if you want to be with your boyfriend or not. If he can't accept you for who you are, your sexuality included, then that's grounds to reconsider the relationship. You know the entire part about "love me for who I am"? Well he ... (read in full...)
How do I explain our breakup without saying I'm gay?
Q. I just told my boyfriend of several years that I'm likely a lesbian. He is a great guy, honestly. He seemed to take it well - we broke it off but agreed to be friends. I still feel really guilty for doing it. I mean, I still love him as a pe...
A. 6 July 2012: Just shrug and say it didn't work out. The spark was gone. It wasn't there. No chemistry. Or that you just woke up one day and wanted a change. ... (read in full...)
We have a connection, but run out of topics to discuss. How do we learn to communicate with soul searching conversations?
Q. So I've got my girlfriend, whom I'll have been dating 5 months on the 10th. I really really want to have a real relationship with substance and communication and love. She desires the same. From an objective standpoint, we're really good togethe...
A. 6 July 2012: Connect through experience. DO things together. Experience things together. And, experience things APART, so that when you meet you will have much to tell each other.
Study philosophy if you want the soul-searching questions. But really, those th... (read in full...)
Can someone please define what typifies a bi-sexual girl? I just don't know if I am bisexual
Q. Okay so I'm 20 years old and I'm in need of help in defining if bisexual, I've been thinking about this for a while now I'm in a 4year relationship with my bf, I've never been with a women in my life but, I get turned on mor by like women than men...
A. 6 July 2012: It's more simple than you think. Have you ever been in love? How many times have you been in love, and have you ever been in love with a woman?
Can you imagine having sex with a woman, and being in a relationship with one? Have you ever flirted ... (read in full...)
I said no to going further. But am I still a virgin, based on what happened?
Q. Okay so there's this military guy i met with. I just wanted someone to date.. we went out to dinner. i dropped him off to on base i get out the car we made out he was groping me and hugging me tight. Then we meet up again the next day ( i am a vir...
A. 6 July 2012: Do you know what it means to be a virgin? How educated are you about sex? You should make some google searches, or go to your local library, and learn about the reproductive system, what is and what isn't virginity, how women end up pregnant, and ... (read in full...)
My relationship with my husband changed after I had a baby, I need some advise on how to fix this.
Q. I had a great relationship with my hubby, had great sex all the time talk hug, kiss, watch movies, when out. I got pregnant had a baby and everything change we live together he says he loves me but he avoids talking to me, we don't go out, the sex ...
A. 6 July 2012: I don't think it's you. I think it's the baby. The change is big for him, he's now a father. Now there is a baby in the house that takes up a lot of energy, maybe the baby cries often too? Maybe he doesn't have the energy for sex? Maybe he is ... (read in full...)
I had a one-night=stand, he said he would call and didn't. How long should I wait before I delete him as a friend?
Q. So, I had an unplanned one night stand on Sunday. I normally never do one night stands. Only did it once before. I have heard so much from friends about guys being all nice and then never calling back and that has been my experience too last time, ...
A. 6 July 2012: Simple. You write him a message on facebook asking about when you will meet up, as the week is close to ending, and he hasn't contacted you yet.
Don't over think this. He probably meant to call and meet up. He's just like most men out there: t... (read in full...)
I want to fit in but I don't!
Q. For a long time I've been having a lot of problems with my virginity...I can't stand it. It makes me angry, and I can't stand it...but I met this girl. She's changed my life...made me see that the world isn't as dark and depressing as I thought...I ...
A. 5 July 2012: Your question is ridiculous when you look at it from outside your own point of view. You've blown things out of proportion, and your insecurity issues, depression and social anxiety is something you need to start dealing with, and stop just ... (read in full...)
I don't know what to do about my wife anymore, we don't have sex yet I cant mention it to her, and she blames me for everything that has gone wrong in her life!
Q. I'm a 43 yr old male. I came home from work last Friday night and was suprise by my wife of 15 yrs.she was in the bathroom, with only a robe, exposing herself to me. this has very seldom happened in our marriage. as any husband still in love with ...
A. 4 July 2012: Couples therapy. That's my only suggestion, if you're tried to talk to her.
Or, keep score. Write down exactly how many days you go without saying anything about sex, write down how often you do have sex, write down how often she blames you for ... (read in full...)
Do I chose Love or a Career?
Q. Hello Agony Friends... As the title suggests, i'm hitting a period in my life where i need to define my priorities. My boyfriend and I are together since 3 years now: we complete each other on a mental and physical level and see marriage,...
A. 4 July 2012: Your "career" choice is really a family-decision, isn't it? You want marriage and a house: and you need the money to get that. You want a good job in a country where you feel more secure financially: and where you think it will be better to raise ... (read in full...)
No-one has ever asked me on a date!
Q. Hello Aunties, My problem is that I've never been actually 'asked out' till date! I'm 18, will be 19 soon. There have been guys who said they liked me but all they ever seemed to want from me was sex. They would chat me up till they got comfort...
A. 4 July 2012: You're the one who needs to start flirting and talking to guys. The girls you see who have guys waiting for them aren't really having guys lined up you know. It's just that they chat up the guys themselves, and then it appears to you as if they have ... (read in full...)
Pain in my stomach when I orgasm?
Q. I am a bit worried, when I orgasm I get a pain in the right side of my stomach. This is causing me distress. I started masturbating alot, I once did it 8 times in a row I know it's bad, it just makes me feel better(yes i am a woman) what could it ...
A. 4 July 2012: Fatigue?
It could be as simple as you using the muscles on that side when you masturbate.
Have it occurred several times? Each time you orgasm, or only after you've done it 8 times in a row? If it happens regularly, as in after each time ... (read in full...)
How do I find a boyfriend who doesn't use porn?
Q. Hi everyone, I am deadset on finding a boyfriend who doesn't use porn when in a relationship, my problem is how will I know? In what way could i find this information out? If i tell them i dont like it they will hide it from me or tell me they don't ...
A. 30 June 2012: Oh dear me, are we really going into a the debate of "can women be as horny as men"???
Yes, we can. We are also ever as visual creatures as men. And men are ever as non-dependent on visual stimulation as some other women.
If you run a study ... (read in full...)
Asian guy with hot white girl. Never seen it in real life
Q. You rarely see a very hot caucasian girl with an asian guy (I'm not asking whether you've seen it. It happens, but it's rare). I've read that the best looking girls TEND to like more masculine guys, whereas more average girls TEND to like a bit less ...
A. 30 June 2012: I've seen a white girl with a boy who had Asian origins! Although, when I asked him where he was from he said he was part German and part mixed race. But when I asked about his Asian features (he didn't look German at all) he said he had a great ... (read in full...)
Want to date but want freedom too
Q. I have a question that I feel is slightly odd tbh. I seem to have a bit of a fear of commitment, in the respect that when I'm in a relationship, I obviously won't have the freedom of a single man... It's not like I have a huge amount of fem...
A. 28 June 2012: I realize I'm a bit late (been out of internet), but I want to add that even while in a relationship I still flirt. Innocently. Joking with the person behind the desk, or the random person you see somewhere. Or a slap on a friends bum etc. I'm not ... (read in full...)
How do I find a boyfriend who doesn't use porn?
Q. Hi everyone, I am deadset on finding a boyfriend who doesn't use porn when in a relationship, my problem is how will I know? In what way could i find this information out? If i tell them i dont like it they will hide it from me or tell me they don't ...
A. 28 June 2012: If you word yourself the right way then my suggestion is that you simply ask him to not watch porn.
After you've entered a relationship with a man who you know doesn't watch a lot of porn, or has a particular need for it (don't confuse a high sex... (read in full...)
How do I find a boyfriend who doesn't use porn?
Q. Hi everyone, I am deadset on finding a boyfriend who doesn't use porn when in a relationship, my problem is how will I know? In what way could i find this information out? If i tell them i dont like it they will hide it from me or tell me they don't ...
A. 28 June 2012: I don't think it's a rare thing to find a man who is willing to not use porn. I actually think it will be harder to find a man who says he prefers porn over a real woman/girlfriend. Porn isn't an addiction, it is much harder to find a smoker who is ... (read in full...)
How do I find a boyfriend who doesn't use porn?
Q. Hi everyone, I am deadset on finding a boyfriend who doesn't use porn when in a relationship, my problem is how will I know? In what way could i find this information out? If i tell them i dont like it they will hide it from me or tell me they don't ...
A. 28 June 2012: If you find yourself unable to give trust to someone they perhaps you are not ready for a relationship? Being in a relationship isn't about controlling another person, or knowing absolutely everything they do/think/plan. It's about loving them, and ... (read in full...)
Guilty of leaving my wife and son for my mistress! What should I do?
Q. This is a tough one. I been separated from my wife of 10 years for 9 months now. We have a loving 2 year old boy. The reason for the separation is because I fell in love with my mistress. I been living with her now and we now have a relationship ...
A. 28 June 2012: When in doubt, don't buy. When you are torn between two women, or two life decisions.. do neither. The right thing will apear as a very obvious decision. So when neither choice (new woman or the wife) strikes you as the natural path to follow, then ... (read in full...)
Does sex really matter all that much?
Q. Hey everyone. Lots of magazines and articles talk about "sexual compatibility" and paramount on sexual pleasure with your partner. I haven't had an orgasm yet with my boyfriend (still testing things out and finding what I like), so I wonder does sex ...
A. 28 June 2012: Sounds like you are sexually compatible to me.... (read in full...)
How long does it take for your pubic hair to grow back?
Q. Okay ladies, I have a question for you. How long does it take for your pubic hair to grow back? I tried shaving almost all of it off, thought I liked it at first, but now I can't stand it...the maintaining is too time consuming and I am startin...
A. 27 June 2012: 4-8 weeks is the normal time for hairs to grow out to full lenght. Some grow fast (4 weeks) some grow more slowly.... (read in full...)
Does sex really matter all that much?
Q. Hey everyone. Lots of magazines and articles talk about "sexual compatibility" and paramount on sexual pleasure with your partner. I haven't had an orgasm yet with my boyfriend (still testing things out and finding what I like), so I wonder does sex ...
A. 27 June 2012: Sex matters. Orgasms don't really matter as much though. Testing things out with your partner, trying things, being affectionate, showing each other that they are wanted.. those things are important! Without intimacy all you have is a friendship. ... (read in full...)
Manipulative, not being real? What are the signs that a woman is just using a guy?
Q. What are the signs to look out for that a woman does not really love you but using you? ie for sex, boredem, rebound etc ...
A. 27 June 2012: That she never wants to do anything that doesn't benefit her somehow. She won't attend a family dinner if she finds it boring. A woman who loves you and cares for you will attend such boring family dinners. But a woman who uses you will not. A woman ... (read in full...)
My father abused me as a child, do I try to talk to my parents about it again?
Q. I have a complicated situation. Without going into too much detail; my father sexually abused me as a child. I told my mother and together they shrugged it off saying I was lying / it was a dream. It was never spoken of again. Fast forward 1...
A. 27 June 2012: Dear poster. While what happened to you bad a bad thing you are the one who needs to go on with your life and not be a victim. It did happen a long time ago. That doesn't mean the pain goes away, or that the damage is healed. But you can't continue ... (read in full...)
Can a friendship turn into more? Or will you always be stuck in the friend zone?
Q. Can you guys tell me if it is possible for a friendship to develop into a romantic relationship between you and your good guy friend? Or will you always just remain in the friends zone with each other... Is it better to take your time and ...
A. 26 June 2012: Yes yes and yes. Friendships can turn into great relationships, and for some people that's the only way a good relationship can be formed. People are different you see, and relationships are necessarily different as well. Some are best formed on ... (read in full...)
My mom breastfeeds my brother in public and I hate it!
Q. I hate it when my mom breastfeeds my baby brother in public. What should I do? She has done it several times. Why the hell would she wanna do it in public? She's crazy. It embarrasses the hell out of me. It's also disgusting. Is there a way I ca...
A. 26 June 2012: Tell her you find it embarrassing and that you'd rather not go to public places with her if she's going to do that.
But, once you grow up into an adult you'll come to see this isn't something anyone dies of out of embarrassment. It's normal. ... (read in full...)
My father abused me as a child, do I try to talk to my parents about it again?
Q. I have a complicated situation. Without going into too much detail; my father sexually abused me as a child. I told my mother and together they shrugged it off saying I was lying / it was a dream. It was never spoken of again. Fast forward 1...
A. 26 June 2012: Write your mother that letter. What they do with it is their choice, what your mother does is her choice, and what your father did was HIS choice. You are not a jerk in any way, nor are you responsible for what either of your parents do. ... (read in full...)
Want to date but want freedom too
Q. I have a question that I feel is slightly odd tbh. I seem to have a bit of a fear of commitment, in the respect that when I'm in a relationship, I obviously won't have the freedom of a single man... It's not like I have a huge amount of fem...
A. 26 June 2012: Have you ever been in a relationship, or are you just letting your imagination running wild with you? Being in a good relationship is something that usually makes people happy. When you like your girlfriend, and she is good to you, you wont have a ... (read in full...)
My husband belittles me
Q. Ok so I think my husband is belittleing me but I also think he just gets mad ezly as well...I'm not 100% sure but heres an example So my husbands mother wanted to have a small bbq with her fam (my fam now) over our house..so we did n I invited ...
A. 26 June 2012: Can't he make his own dinner? This sounds very annoying, I'd tell him to cook his own food, there's the fridge, he's got hands. If he's hungry he's free to MAKE some food himself. He's not a child. ... (read in full...)
I want to fit in but I don't!
Q. For a long time I've been having a lot of problems with my virginity...I can't stand it. It makes me angry, and I can't stand it...but I met this girl. She's changed my life...made me see that the world isn't as dark and depressing as I thought...I ...
A. 26 June 2012: "I read somewhere losing it in your 20s can lead to erectile dysfunction later in life..."
That's not true at all. I don't know where you read something like that, but someone was just trying to scare you. There's no such thing. Don't believe ... (read in full...)
Marriage makes sense because of my military situation, but my parents won't approve
Q. Me and my girlfriend have a somewhat unique problem. We have been going out for roughly 8 months now, and dated a few years ago for about a month. We were good friends in between those years. I am in the military and we have been dealing with the ...
A. 25 June 2012: Military was your choice. If you wanted a stable home life with a family you'd chosen differently. I'm just staying.. the military path is something YOU need to figure out, and if you can offer something fair to your future wife. No one forced you ... (read in full...)
My ex told me my boobs are small and I can't get over it. Is bigger really better?
Q. My ex, the only guy I've ever been sexual with, told me my breasts are too small and I still can't get over it. I know he's not the only man on earth, but I've heard my other male friends talk about breasts and it's always a case of "the bigger the ...
A. 25 June 2012: Don't get hung up on it. You're currently only seeing what you are focusing on and what you WANT to see. You want to feel bad about your breasts so you're actively looking for things to support this feeling of yours. Now you're going to protest and ... (read in full...)
Worried that we are not intellectually compatible?
Q. I am in a new relationship with a man who makes me laugh like nobody else, is affectionate, hard working and very patient. We are living together and planning to go away travelling together. I'm very physically attracted to him, I trust him, fee...
A. 22 June 2012: I think that as long as he isn't stupid then it'll be fine. I once had a boyfriend who I met at university, so he was getting his education as well.. but he was slow. I don't know if it was a language barrier or something (he came from a different ... (read in full...)
Is getting pregnant at 15 the right thing to do?
Q. Well, im 15... And me and my boyfriend have been together for 9 months, now heres my issue, when we hit a year... My boyfriend wants a BABY..... Okay look, I absoulutly ADORE babies, I LOVE them. And I have no problem with pregnancy at this age.... ...
A. 22 June 2012: PS. the fact that your boyfriend of 9 months (that's not long even) wants to have a baby with you now also tells me that he is NOT seriosu about you. If he was serious then he'd think ahead as well. I am suspecting that he only says this because he ... (read in full...)
Is getting pregnant at 15 the right thing to do?
Q. Well, im 15... And me and my boyfriend have been together for 9 months, now heres my issue, when we hit a year... My boyfriend wants a BABY..... Okay look, I absoulutly ADORE babies, I LOVE them. And I have no problem with pregnancy at this age.... ...
A. 22 June 2012: It's a dumb idea. He doesn't have a job, you don't have a job. You don't have money, and you don't have a place to live. You aren't even legally allowed to have sex btw, so if you get pregnant you can imagine: the authoritites (police) will probably ... (read in full...)
I am ashamed that I am single and still have my virginity. How do I get over my insecurity?
Q. I am very insecure about being a virgin and single at my age (19 and counting). I feel like it is another thing that makes me different and weird, but I just want to feel normal. My insecurity has a few major parts: I feel that if I am a virg...
A. 21 June 2012: You're normal. You'll repel women if you obsess about your insecurities. Drop the nervous act and start to not give a crap about what people think. Don't be a follower, be in charge of yourself and dare to find someone YOU like and want to be with, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend had an open box of condoms, and they had different expiry dates
Q. yesterday i went to my boyfriend of 3 years house. we were kissing in bed and he pulled out a open box of condom 3 pack.i was skeptic, as in why would that be open if its brand new? hes always suspicious of me having condoms at my house even if i ...
A. 21 June 2012: If this is the only indication you have that he might be cheating then you're crying wolf over nothing. I mean what happened to trusting the guy? He could have been masturbating and wanted to use one of the condoms. He could have had one of his ... (read in full...)
The ugly guys get the girls!
Q. What's the deal with gorgeous girls dating ugly guys? I'm a 20 year old male and VERY good looking. I'm not big headed about it, just stating what is an objective fact. I can say this and still claim to not be big headed, as I don't feel proud...
A. 21 June 2012: Because looks aren't everything. AND, people who aren't as confident might have a problem dating someone who is better looking than themselves (or more successful than themselves) because they will always compare themselves, or think that others ... (read in full...)
I accidentally found out that my daughter in law & family do not like me. What do I do now?
Q. This afternoon I had my 10 year old grandson (my son's son)and I took a wrong turn in the car at a junction. He panicked thinking we were going to his other grannys (his mum's mum). On gently questioning him he told me that it would be a bad idea ...
A. 21 June 2012: I don't think it matters much. If they don't like you then that's their problem really, not yours. You don't mind them, and they are civil to you and don't create trouble for you. Up until this point things were fine because you thought they were ... (read in full...)
Do you wait to get over an ex completely before starting a new relationship?
Q. Is it normal to still have feelings for an ex while getting into the next relationship? And let the lingering feelings for the ex die completely as you get to know this new person? Does this happen a lot with people? Or is it better to comple...
A. 20 June 2012: "Is it normal to still have feelings for an ex while getting into the next relationship? And let the lingering feelings for the ex die completely as you get to know this new person? Does this happen a lot with people?"
That's how I usually ... (read in full...)
I sometimes wish I could act out my sexual fantasies!
Q. I'm basically a "good girl"...always have been, but sometimes I wish I was a slut. I see so many of my friends randomly hook up with guys, have threesomes, have one night stands and all this other stuff and they seem like they're really living life ...
A. 20 June 2012: It looks to me that you want things you perfectly well can do while in a relationship as well. When you are in a relationship, do you just stick to the old faithful missionary position?? Why don't you bring your boyfriend out in the woods and have ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is pregnant, and her parents refuse to let us see each other! Can they do this?
Q. I could really use some advice on my current situation with my girl friend. My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year and half and we get along great. Her parents liked me for the most part. Her dad and I had a few issues with her being a ...
A. 19 June 2012: Until she is 18, well, sorry, but her parents decide over her legally. They can't force her to put her child to adoption though. But they can make her if she's not strong enough/willing to face the consequences, they might after all kick her out of ... (read in full...)
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These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
