A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:What are the signs to look out for that a woman does not really love you but using you? ie for sex, boredem, rebound etc Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2012): You don't look for anything OP.
All signs can be misinterpreted or mean other things. Being distant may mean that she has things going on in her life and is distracted by them. Not wanting to attend family meals may well mean she's socially anxious in situations such as that.
You don't look for signs, you don't try to read women in that way because it's too easy to be mistaken, she could well just be a lazy woman or she could be guarding herself against getting hurt.
It's actually very simple OP, you just ensure you're getting your needs met. When you're getting what you want out of a relationship then you're not being used, so just make sure that's what you're doing. People can only ever use us if we let them OP.
Look at all the signs the ladies before me have said, can you honestly tell the difference from those of a woman who is guarding herself emotionally to not get hurt or a woman who doesn't care and is using you?
I sure as hell can't and that's why it's a waste of time.
You want more than just sex, then make sure you get more. You want a girl that shows a lot of desire to know you as more than just for your money or sex then you make sure that she's giving that, it's not hard. Women who want money or to be treated won't stick around long without it, women who only want sex won't stick around long without it.
You know the deal, don't try and guess signs, just take control more.
A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (27 June 2012):
Chigirl is right on point about doing only things that benefit her. In that, I would tell you to never listen to what she says, judge her 100% by what she does. It will tell you everything you need to know about a person, any person. Does she ever do anything for you unprompted - with no benefit in it for herself? Not hard to see once youre looking for it.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (27 June 2012):
 That she never wants to do anything that doesn't benefit her somehow. She won't attend a family dinner if she finds it boring. A woman who loves you and cares for you will attend such boring family dinners. But a woman who uses you will not. A woman who uses you will not be there for you when you ask for help. She will always find an excuse to not help you out. Yet, she will continue to ask you for continuous favours. She will ask you to buy her things, or drive her places, or pay for her, or take her places etc, but only things that SHE enjoy.
A woman who cares for you and loves you will attend events, or activities, that she doesn't really have an interest in. But she will attend them because it gives her a chance to get to know you better, hang out with you, and be there with you. A woman who cares for you will be interested in learning more about your interests, even if she personally find them boring. A woman who is just using you will not care at all about your interests. Be aware though, some are good actresses, and can pretend to be interested at first. But a genuine interest in you will persist. A fake interest will apear genuine at first, but then fade away quickly.
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A
female
reader, G's_Girl  +, writes (27 June 2012):
 Exactly what Basschick said, plus:If she loves you, you will know it by her words, her actions, her behaviour, her attitude, all those things. The opposite is also true, so for you to know she does not love you, she won't say it, her actions won't reflect it, her behaviour will be poor towards you, she will pick fights, she will be distant and generally you will know.If she is using you for sex, she will be intimate with you but it will just be sex, not lovemaking. There will be no tenderness, no feeling, no closeness and bonding, and no cuddling after. Just "wham bam thank you" and move on. If she is bored, she will be tired of routine, and going through the motions by not bothering to praise you, to acknowledge anything you do, complimenting you, and making an effort like everyone in a relationship does. You should feel a priority, cared and loved for, if not, she's not that into you.Rebound - she would turn to you right after breaking up with someone else, just to spite them, or to not be alone, or to try and hide the hurt feelings. Wrong but done by some. I hope you find the answers you are looking for, and that they help you decide what to do going forward.Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (27 June 2012):
 If she seems distant on a sexual or emotional level with you, yet she never fails to be available to do social things with you; attend parties, go out bar hopping, karaoke but avoid sexual intimacy and being close to you overall. Never seems interested in hearing about your day, what your dreams are; what your future may hold.
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