A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am very insecure about being a virgin and single at my age (19 and counting). I feel like it is another thing that makes me different and weird, but I just want to feel normal.My insecurity has a few major parts:I feel that if I am a virgin into my twenties that women will be able to tell and I will scare them off.I feel that if I don't get experience in relationships now I will have dysfunctional relationships in the future or will remain single.I feel that I will get desperate and end up with someone I don't really like because they were the first person to say yes.I feel that people look down on me and feel sorry for me. It just makes me feel even more like a freak.I feel that confident people are sexually active or in relationships and that I can't have confidence in my situation.Can someone prove my insecurities are stupid?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2012): Dude, I'm 18, I'm a virgin, and I'm dating the girl of my dreams. We're both set on abstinence. However, that doesn't mean we don't have any experience.
I've see it (sex) change my friends, I've seen it ruin marriages, I've seen it bring life and love. Sex is extremely powerful. You'd be wise to treat it as such, and not simply chase it down in hopes of being say, more mature or confident.
But like I said, me and my girlfriend do have a lot of experience. We've learned from seeing the relationships of our friends, we've talked to our respective parents and heard their words, and we've gone rather far as well.
My advice here is: embrace who you are, every bit of your being. I know in the present, these things can seem a big deal, but you have all the time in the world. Meet people, make friends, maybe you even meet a particularly awesome lady and you start to date.
When that happens, just relax and enjoy being with each other. Talk about what sex means to each other and maybe slowly work on learning what each other likes physically. I promise, you're a good guy, and nobody worth their weight and salt will judge you for being a virgin.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (21 June 2012):
 You're normal. You'll repel women if you obsess about your insecurities. Drop the nervous act and start to not give a crap about what people think. Don't be a follower, be in charge of yourself and dare to find someone YOU like and want to be with, as opposed to "fitting in" and finding a girlfriend your friends approve of but that you personally don't really like.
You live your life for you, and what others think is irrelevant. Women can't read your mind and see that you are a virgin, and even if they could they wouldn't mind.
There are tons of people who's got some relationship experience but who still enter dysfunctional relationship. There are some people who end up marrying the first person they are in a relationship with.
Tons of people back in the days used to wait with sex until marriage. So sex is definitely NOT something one is required to be familiar with in order to form a relationship.
You might get desperate if you don't get a hold of yourself, lift your head and take a look at what really matters in life. You're seriously not abnormal, and there are tons of people in the same boat as you.
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