A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex, the only guy I've ever been sexual with, told me my breasts are too small and I still can't get over it. I know he's not the only man on earth, but I've heard my other male friends talk about breasts and it's always a case of "the bigger the better" or sometimes they'll say a girl is pretty "but she has small boobs" as if it were a bad thing. Also with all the praise big boobs get in the media and the bad comments about small breasts (just watch any sitcom! look at magazines, whatever) it's hard to believe that there are men out there who actually like small boobs. Also my girl friends are all busty and they're always going on about how great it is to have big boobs, wearing the most low cut tops they can find and generally just making a big deal out of their big boobs... are big boobs really that much better, that much more attractive? I just don't know how to get over this, I need some advice on body peace, because I feel I'm at the bottom of a deep pit with this... I know there are more important things, I know I'm healthy and smart, but men make such a big deal out of big boobs that it seems they don't even care about what truly matters! I don't want any other guy settling for me again like my ex did, I just feel so sad and discouraged... and I don't want surgery, it's scary and expensive.
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (25 June 2012):
 Your ex, to put it bluntly, was an ass. Why are you giving another moment's thought to what an ass's opinion might be?
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 June 2012):
 Don't get hung up on it. You're currently only seeing what you are focusing on and what you WANT to see. You want to feel bad about your breasts so you're actively looking for things to support this feeling of yours. Now you're going to protest and say that you don't want to feel this way. Of course, consciously, you don't. Consciously you want to feel amazing being who you are. But subconsciously you're not there. Subconsciously you are looking for reasons to look down on yourself.
Men do not make a big deal out of big boobs. Some like them. Some don't. There are tons of men who make just a big (or small) deal out of other breast sizes. Bigger is not better in terms of breasts, or penises for that matter. You've got some form of selective hearing because of your subconscious desire to feel bad about yourself.
Say you feel amazing. Say a man tells you your breasts are too small. Well then.. too bad for him, because you rock what you've got and if he aint pleased he's free to go elsewhere. Then you move on to find a man who can't take his eyes, or hands, off of you. See? If you personally thought your breasts were just fine you wouldn't be focusing on this or that which you think might be true: that men like bigger breasts. You'd instead just go out there and find the men who loves your size. Or better yet: find a man who loves YOU and not just your body.
And please, don't generalize. Not all men like big boobs. There's tons of porn out there with petite women with close to no breasts at all. My current man actually prefers porn with close to flat chested women. I've got bigger boobs than his preferred porn images, but I'm not in a sweat about it. You know why? I love the way I look, and I know my guy loves the way I look as well, otherwise he wouldn't be with me, would he? A person is more than their body, and when a man loves you he doesn't give a rats ass about "perfection" in the idealized plastic Barbie sense of the word. In his eyes you are perfect because you are who you are and he loves you. My man tells me all the time how greats my breasts are, that they are amazing, just perfect etc. Yet, if he's going to watch porn he's looking at flat chested women...
So, to sum it all up. Men like different sorts and sizes of women and breasts. Men love a woman for who she is and NOT for how she looks. They're not different from women in this aspect. When they love you they also love how you look, and it is perfectly possible to like several different sizes at the same time. My man likes my boobs, but he also likes to watch flat chested A-cups when he doesn't have me around to play with. Liking small breasts doesn't mean you can't also like bigger breasts. And vice versa, guys who talk to their buddies about big breasts (and btw guys tend to count B-cups as big too) they also like smaller breasts. But overall: when a man is actually interested in his woman he will NOT go around bragging about her breasts. So most of that talk is just show-off talk, and not really about how they truly feel or what they truly like.
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (24 June 2012):
I'm one of the guys who would rather have shapeliness over sheer size. Our culture certainly glorifies boobage, and I can understand that this bothers you, but I don't really know how you can overcome it.
My wife of (almost) 38 years has always been small breasted - about 34-A or -B on a 5'9 (176 cm) frame. I can't say that I have ever been disappointed. Yeah, it was nice when she was pregnant or nursing and swelled to about a "C" size, but there were a LOT of other factors that also made her especially attractive at those times.
Now at 61 and after 4 pregnancies she doesn't sag, and goes braless most of the time - which makes her very accessible for respectful fondling and caresses. Even at a much younger age, I found her braless 34-A's - inside the most chaste, non-revealing top imaginable but with just a hint of a nipple bump - more attractive than much larger breasts with LOTS of cleavage revealed.
As far as "settling for you", guys are equally brainwashed by the cultural "bigger is better" message and will go along with the crowd mainly to fit in. But a LOT of them know, whether they admit it or not, that the most important organ for sexual satisfaction is located between the ears. If you let your brain show, what you do with your breasts isn't nearly as significant.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (24 June 2012):
 I once heard someone give the best argument ever in defense of small boobs. It is just been an internet meme, but it was pretty spot on. It's also a little vulgar, so sorry about that.
But basically this one woman was being teased by a bunch of guys for having very small boobs. Another guy comes over and says, "yes but with the small ones you can fit them in your mouth." And then other guys suddenly changed their minds. There's also the famous saying about anything bigger than a handful is a waste.
Sure there are some guys who prefer big breasts and some who prefer small ones, but for the most part I think guys just like boobs, in general. It's often more the shape than the size that matters. When you're naked, size doesn't really matter, just so long as they're round and on your chest they'll like them. When you're not naked, there's nothing wrong with a good push up bra. I have a hard time believing that so many of your friends just naturally have perfect cleavage without assistance.
I have a 34B so it's not like I'm saying this as a large-chested girl. My bf loves mine even though they're fairly small. Even with my small chest my boobs get a LOT of attention (guys asking questions about your low hanging necklace, being unable to finish their sentences if I stretch backwards, etc...). It's just about the kind of support you give them.
The big boobs get more comments from your douche nozzle friends just because they're more prominent and easier to notice. Doesn't mean if you're actually in a one on one situation they're better. Also keep in mind that if a bunch of guys are sitting around, they probably want to fit in. There also seems to be a pretty huge culture around guys doing things so other guys won't think they're gay. So they may also be talking out of their butts with clichéd "guy phrases."
Also a benefit to small breasts, you are taken more seriously in work, they won't sag, people will listen to you when talk rather than staring at your chest. You don't want to be known by people as "that lady with big boobs."
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A
female
reader, sadpanda0128 +, writes (24 June 2012):
You know, I go to school with a bunch of girls who have MUCH bigger boobs than I do.
I'm going to be totally honest, guys like big boobs. Not too big, though. Maybe anything bigger than a B cup (but not too big) is good for them. Though believe it or not, there are a lot of guys who really don't care about how big your boobs are.
I think your ex is just saying that because he wants to be a jerk or to get a reaction from you.
Don't worry about it too much. Having smaller boobs can be way better than having big boobs.
For one, you'll actually find a guy who likes you for YOU and not your cup size.
Sports and activities are way easier, too.
Sleeping and swimming are more enjoyable, definitely.
Don't sweat it too much.
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A
female
reader, missmatador  +, writes (24 June 2012):
 Dear Anon,It sounds as though you are channeling the negativity and self-conciousness that comes from the ending of a relationship into one little comment made by an insignificant person who doesn't feature in your life anymore.Certain sectors of the media, the ones that specialise in demeaning women, seek to over sexualise them with big breasts and big bums. It's not clever and it's not even remotely real. AND it also gives the impression that, because it is the only perspective popularised, it is the only view worth acknowledging. EVERY image that is released into the media is altered in one way or another to engineer the "perfect" image. Onto something a little more "real" then? Ever heard the phrase "More than a handfull is just a waste." Even though I am a big breasted girl, I couldn't agree more with that! Big breasts are a nuisence!AND, honestly, any man worth his salt won't give a damn about the size of your bossom.Now, if none of this has helped so far, let's look at the positives of being less-than-endowed:A) You can wear something low cut without looking like a las vegas hussy.B) Elegance comes naturally to you. Any outfit is completely and utterly wonderful for your figure and you avoid that unfortunate moment where you think you're wearing something decent...but your breasts ultimately lower the tone.C) Nipples! Men enjoy a bit of nipple peekadge. It's embedded from birth. Not to mention a breast wouldn't really be a breast without a nipple.D) The freedom of going braless. Because who really wants to wear a fabric scaffold all day every day!E) Strappless dresses and bandeux bikinis! Slip on, slip off, no mess, no faff!F) Exercise doesn't come with the need to bolster your baps above your waist. So go run that marathon!G) Your older years aren't spent with Spaniels Ears! Yes, your Perky Pinkies aren't going to drop to the floor any time soon!and finallyH) You're blessed with them. For feeding the baby, for entertaining your man, for dressing like a real lady without stepping over the mark into "tart-dom"!Big breasts come with "look at me"...you've got that...and so many other reasons to be happy with your fab figure.Don't let your ex ruin more than just a short period of your life.Love,Miss Matador
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