A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay so I'm 20 years old and I'm in need of help in defining if bisexual, I've been thinking about this for a while now I'm in a 4year relationship with my bf, I've never been with a women in my life but, I get turned on mor by like women than men (porn), or if I see women with nice breast or nice butts its on like donkey Kong lol no joke, but its super like I like a lot...! I've never really thought of being with a girl, I don't know if its something I would like... Sometimes I'm like hell no I would never! And other days I think about it.. but sexually I don't think I would like it. But I would def. Kiss a women.. being labeled bisexual wouldn't bother me, I just want to know if that's what's going on, I make comment of girls sometime in front of my bf and he looks at me so weird, he gets mad too. He asks if I am but I don't knowPlease help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 July 2012):
 You got to decide if you want to be with your boyfriend or not. If he can't accept you for who you are, your sexuality included, then that's grounds to reconsider the relationship. You know the entire part about "love me for who I am"? Well he obviously doesn't do that. Maybe he will in the future, I don't know for how long you and him have been dating. But if you can't even be allowed to express yourself and talk to him about who you might be, what new things you've come to find out about yourself (and I mean just talking here, no experimentation included), then obviously he doesn't know you well, he isn't interested in getting to know you better, and he isn't willing to accept it if you say you are bisexual.
If you want to experiment with women then you first need to end your relationship with your boyfriend. I don't think it'd be a good idea to experiment while in a relationship, even if your boyfriend would say yes. Because you might end up finding out you DO like it, and you might end up falling for a woman. And having sex with someone else wile in a relationship is actually not a nice thing to do to your partner in general (especially when he isn't really up for it).
You possibly being bisexual doesn't mean you can't stay in a relationship with your boyfriend. But, if you want to stay in a relationship, and you want a good relationship, you need to be able to talk to him and tell him about you possibly being bisexual. But make up your mind beforehand: do you want to stay in a relationship with him or not?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI mean I have asked him what if I was bi and he gets mad, he tells me not to say stuff like that... So if I talk to him like I would already know his reaction if i was to tell him I wanted to experiment he WOULD NOT be ok with that... And I'm kind of embarrassed to talk to HIM... cause I feel like I'm going to feel dumb if its just a phase
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 July 2012):
 I'm bisexual. I like women but I classify myself as mainly heterosexual as I prefer my primary relationship to be with a man and as we are monogamous I have not been with a woman since we became committed.
If you see a girl and it's "on like donkey kong" well then you may be bisexual or you may be bi-curious.
either way the only way to know is to experiment. the issue is you need to clear this with your current partner and not go behind his back. He needs to be aware that you want to figure this out.
I've rarely known a man who was against his female partner having bi-sexual experiences.... the issue becomes that if you are free to experiment that way, then he will be entitled so some sexual freedom as well...perhaps with other women, perhaps with a woman you are attracted to (but then you have to share him with her and that's a whole different kettle of fish)
I think that sexuality much like mental illness is on a spectrum... and i think that most humans have the ability to dabble in both heterosexual and homosexual behavior...
in other words, I think there is at least a little bit of BI in everyone...
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (6 July 2012):
It's more simple than you think. Have you ever been in love? How many times have you been in love, and have you ever been in love with a woman?
Can you imagine having sex with a woman, and being in a relationship with one? Have you ever flirted with, or enjoyed flirting with a woman? Do you get that tingly feeling of excitement when you talk to a gorgeous woman, the same feeling you get when you talk to a gorgeous man?
No? Then you're not bisexual. If yes, then you could be bisexual.
The only real test is if you've fallen in love with a person of each gender, and/or been aroused by a person of each gender. Pornography does not count, as that is fantasy and not real life. You can't base your sexual orientation on what porn you watch. I'm bisexual, yet girl on girl porno never interested me one bit. Yet I've had sex with women, flirted, hooked up at parties, been in love with a woman etc. I don't watch girl on girl porn, but that doesn't mean I'm straight. Same with you, you can watch and enjoy girl on girl action, or the features of a woman, but that doesn't necessarily make you bisexual.
A very helpful way to think about it is to think of all people as bisexual, but that there are varying degrees. Some women are 90% for men and 10% for women. We call them straight, but they are still able to appreciate the lovely features of another woman. Some are 70% for men, and 30% for women. We can call them straight as well, but they are more interested in experimenting with women as well, and might occasionally be aroused by women. Some are 60% for men, and 40% for women. I'd call that bisexual, and feel that's about what I am. I have only been in relationships with men, never seem to "get that far" with a woman, but I am otherwise just as interested in women as I am in men.
Some are 40% for men, and 60% for women. They might prefer to be in a relationship with a woman, but enjoy sex and short flings with men as well.
See what I mean? Being bisexual doesn't have to be you like both genders just the same. You can lean a bit more to one side, yet be bisexual.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (6 July 2012):
 I am not sure. I think it is natural to be turned on by both men and women while you are watching porn. And, I think it is natural to appreciate other womens bodies. I think who you are attracted to matters the most, but perhaps someone who is bi-sexual could help you. For example, if you see a girl you're attracted to and there is a magnetism that compels you to ask her out, then you might also like women. But, if you are just appreciating a woman's chest, butt, or body in general...I don't think that makes you bi or gay.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2012): You need to talk to him about it. Sexuality can be rather fluid; I know this from experience. I once considered myself bi; and now I consider myself mostly lesbian.
Talk to your boyfriend about it and see what he says. Trust me, it won't be easy, but it might be something that you have to do.
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