A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Can you guys tell me if it is possible for a friendship to develop into a romantic relationship between you and your good guy friend? Or will you always just remain in the friends zone with each other... Is it better to take your time and be friends before you go out dating? Maybe even have no expectations and let it happen when it's meant to happen? I just got out of a long term relationship. He went thru the same thing last summer.Thanks! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (26 June 2012):
 Yes yes and yes. Friendships can turn into great relationships, and for some people that's the only way a good relationship can be formed. People are different you see, and relationships are necessarily different as well. Some are best formed on romance and initial attraction and passion. Others are formed on mutual friendship and respect, that slowly grows into something deeper and passionate. Some people just grow together and realize they have fallen for each other without thinking that they have a friendship. Some relationships start out as enemies. Some take time, some go fast.
Yes, friendships can blossom into relationships. And for some people that is the best foundation for a relationship. It gives a slower start, a long warm up phase, getting to know each other, no expectations, and then suddenly one day the time is right and it becomes something more.
I was friends with my last boyfriend for 8 years, I had a crush on him, but feelings started developing and growing stronger when he started opening up and giving me more attention and complements. He needed to mature and grow out of his "shell" before he was approachable. Once he got there, I fell for his charm, and he confessed that he loved me as well, that he'd always had a soft spot for me.
But things wouldn't have developed into anything more than a friendship if he hadn't taken some steps in courting me (whether it was conscious or not, he NEVER complimented me before, he just suddenly started doing it after his confidence had grown through the years). He wouldn't have entered a relationship with me though, or anyone, if he hadn't known me so well. He's delicate like that, sensitive, and not so confident. He needed that security of friendship in order for things to develop further. Me on the other hand never needed friendship first, but it certainly isn't a negative! Being friends first is only positive.
But keep in mind, knowing someone as a friend is different from knowing them intimately as a partner. You see them in a new light, learn new things, and communicate very differently once the roles change. And returning to a friendship, if the relationship fails, can be difficult.
A
female
reader, ImmortalPrincess +, writes (26 June 2012):
 That's the way it happened between me and my hubby. We worked together, and we became friends. We just enjoyed each other's company. we liked to do the same kinds of things, watch the same types of movies, exetera...There may have been some sexual tension between us, but it was never acted on, there were no expectations. The romance blossomed over time. In my opinion, that is the best way to do it. Friendship should be the foundation for any romantic relationship. When you build a house, you don't put the roof on first.....you start with a strong concrete foundation and build up from there. Making it strong and giving it stability to stand against any storm. When you dive head first into the romance, you don't take the proper time to secure that foundation of friendship, making the relationship less stable then it could be. So when storms come along and temporarily interrupt the romance, you don't have that solid foundation of friendship to hold you up.So let whatever going to happen, happen. Enjoy being his friend, don't begin a sexual relationship until you are a committed couple, and if it doesn't happen that way, it wasn't meant to be.
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