A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been with the same guy for a year and half. He has always said he had love for me but also has love for his ex. I recently discovered some text that I might not should have from his ex talking about their sexual past. They don't live in the same town anymore. The ex said, I am dreaming about you and miss you and love you still. My partner replied I love you too. When I confronted him he said I have never lied that I still have love for him but you are taking this out of context. Am I a fool for staying with someone who still can tell their ex they love them too when they can't say that to me?
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his ex, I love you, sexual past, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (14 August 2012):
 I would say it wouldn't be too wise to stay with him.
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (14 August 2012):
 We are all fools in love really, and if you love him well you cannot help who you love can you? But staying with him clearly isnt making you happy, after all your partner loves another person and that is always going to be hurtful.
I personally could not stay with someone who loved another person, I need to know that I am the only person in my partner's life and that they dont have feelings for someone else. I dont want to share my partner with anyone else, so I could not allow myself to stay in the situation you are currently in.
So I guess it is up to you - can you put up with him texting his ex and declaring his love for him? Or do you want to find a partner who can love you and you only? He clearly is not over his ex and that would worry me, after all if one of them moved back closer to each other I would be concerned that he is going to leave for his ex as soon as the distance isnt a problem anymore.
You deserve more than this, so if you are unhappy with his contact with his ex and want to feel truly loved then by all means move on, you dont have to settle for a relationship like this.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 August 2012):
 You're not a fool, you're just looking for love in the wrong places. And you don't want to let go of the dream you have of him loving you.. even though he doesn't.
If he still loves his ex.. then ok. Let him love his ex. But that doesn't mean you should be fine with it! You should leave the relationship if it hurts you. You tried it out, and it appears it just causes you pain. So perhaps it is time you take care of yourself and focus on what you need in life, and if your boyfriend is capable of giving you what you need.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2012): I think he's hiding more than he's letting on.
I mean to have a conversation of such nature with his ex and then saying they love each other at the end of it certainly isn't normal behaviour in a relationship.
I think you should tell him to be straight upfront with you, or you're walking. You feel like you're being taken for a fool and you won't stand for it, and I'm sure he wouldn't either if the shoe was on the other foot.
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