A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay so me and my fiance have been together for over three years now and I have a slight issue. To put it bluntly, i have a below average penis size. Sex was great at the start of our relationship and still is in my opinion but I'm pretty sure that she's not fully satisfied. I have a hard time getting an erection and when I do it's at most 4 inches, then I only last 5-10 minutes...and I know someone on here is going to say size doesn't really matter but it really does. So I don't really know what to do besides load up on erection pills but that doesn't really help the fact it's small...I've considered surgery but there's not much that can be done according to my research. I want to please my fiance as much as I can and I'll do whatever it takes to fix my situation. It's got to the point to where I have to do three times as much fourplay than actual sex, which sucks.
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erection, fiance, penis size Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2012): Foreplay is really important to women, I have the most intense orgasm from that rather than sex. Yeah sex is great but if you show her that you love her, pay her lots of attention with the foreplay then she probably really enjoys the sex life she has with you. She's marrying you, she loves you. She's never complained I'm guessing. Don't give yourself a hard time just have fun and you can get a lot of satisfaction from all the other stuff and not just the penetration. The best sex I had with a partner was the one with the smallest penis we just had loads of fun doing other stuff and he really knew what to do to make me happy.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2012): I would worry more if my penis cannot get my wife pregnant than how perfectly it fits inside her. Seriously, if your amigo below doesn't fire blank shots, then that's all that matters. I'm sure all women would agree. Final note, as a man,satisfying a woman sexually is a skill that will take your entire life to perfect, and you can only perfect it with ONE woman. Penis size is not the master key to a woman's sexual satisfaction. Every woman is unique. thus, the notion that a man that has sex with all kinds of women is a master lover is a myth. That's why promiscuous men who get married end up failing in bed. No other man can perfectly satisfy your wife but you. And it will have nothing to do with your penis size but the knowledge you've accumulated everytime you make love to her. Improving your skills as the years pass. Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2012): If you love and honour her and treat her like she is Everything- size will not be an issue.
I'm 40 years old and have been with smaller than average to average to bigger than average and to OUCH wtf sized men.
The best sex has occured with the below average size and the above average size. Both these men I adored, loved and they were my best friends.
What killed it had nothing to do with their penis but them acting like Grade A A-holes!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2012): Let me ask you OP, is your fiancé an idiot? I mean has she a serious mental deficiency or the IQ of an 8 year old?
If not then what the hell makes you think she'd stick around for 3 years with a guy who is crap in bed?
Do you really think she's that stupid or desperate that she would condemn herself to bad sex for the rest of her life by agreeing to marry a guy who is shit in bed?
I understand you have an insecurity about your size OP but it's just a tad insulting towards her don't you think?
Look size does matter, of course it does, it matter in all things. But penis size doesn't matter in the way you think it does at all. Bigger, smaller just give different sensations, bigger does not equal better is equals different. There's also the value of girth, the value of shape, direction of tilt and you don't seem to factor in the size of her vagina either OP, the tightness of vaginas is as varied as all the different sizes of penis we guys have.
Go to your doctor to talk about your erection issues, it sounds like it could be stage fright. You've built your penis up as such a big deal mentally that for lack of a better description you've frightened it back into its shell.
"It's got to the point to where I have to do three times as much fourplay than actual sex, which sucks."
Why does that suck? you say you want to please he as much as you can well, most women need a lot of foreplay to completely get off and regardless of whether they orgasm through intercourse most still love having it.
Your research is flawed OP because you're so focused on the wrong issues here, you're being selfish in your thoughts, your insulting your girlfriends intelligence and are so obsessed with your penis size that it has probably caused performance anxiety. How does any of that make sense to you?
You've turned something which so very obviously not an issue for her into a massive in your head all the while claiming it's because you're worried about pleasing her, horseshit. You're insecure, you have penis envy and you need to get rid of that problem in your mind because it's not a problem in any other way.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (3 August 2012):
 Very few women orgasm from penetration. A vagina is not an inverted penis, we have very few nerve endings in there. If you prefer numbers 25% can orgasm from penetrative sex while 85% can orgasm from oral sex. If you think you're not leaving her satisfied, work on your tongue not your penis.
"It's got to the point to where I have to do three times as much fourplay than actual sex, which sucks."
Really? Because I doubt it sucks for her! Foreplay IS sex for women. That's the main event, the only time when our needs are at the forefront.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (3 August 2012):
 Sweetie, if you think that plugging your penis into her vagina and thrusting in and out is the only thing is going to get her off, you have a LOT to learn about women and their sexual response. A lot.
Here are some links that may help you understand the situation a bit better:
http://men.webmd.com/features/7-sex-mistakes-men-make
http://men.webmd.com/guide/sex-fact-fiction
http://www.malehealth.co.uk/node/18960
Read those and see if that helps explain things a bit better.
For her, intercourse is part of the whole sexual experience, it's not the be-all and end-all, like it may be for you. Once you realize that foreplay for her is sex too, you'll be on the way to a happier sex life!
Good luck! Have fun learning and do try to communicate with her about what she likes as well.
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A
male
reader, Hennessy1989  +, writes (3 August 2012):
 I think this is all in your head, unless shes telling you your penis isn't good enough for her then what's the problem? If she didn't enjoy sex with you then you wouldn't be having much of it, I don't understand why guys get worried about their size, it's not something you can change, focus on the good things man, you have a good sex life with a girl u love, who by what you've written hasn't complained, not many guys last longer than 10 minutes anyway
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 August 2012):
 You DO know that few women even orgasm from penetration, right?
So ACTUALLY size doesn't matter when it comes to HER pleasure.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2012): And your specific question for which you are seeking specific advice from random virtual online strangers is . . .
Whatever the question, my answer is the same: You have the choice of being a man or being a wimp, and dick size has nothing to do with determining the outcome you decide for yourself.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 August 2012):
 *size not sixe...
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (3 August 2012):
Okay, so sixe DOESN'T matter here either. Your problems are, as you said yourself, that you have difficulties maintaining an erection. You also don't last for long. Those are your two issues, not your size.
Have you been to your doctor about your problem keeping an erection? You should. You're so young, you shouldn't be having problems maintaining an erection. How is your health? Are you over weight? That can cause problems with keeping an erection. Extra weight also often makes the penis look shorter, because of the fat that is stored at the base of the penis.
When you measure your penis, do you measure all the way from the bone/base? You should press the skin back until you feel the bone, and then measure from there. That is the correct way to measure your penis.
Also, unless your girlfriend has stated that your size is the problem, it probably isn't. I've been in relationships with short guys as well, and the problem isn't the size itself. In your case your girlfriend is probably very upset that you can't keep it erect! And less, or not at all bothered, with your size.
Go see your doctor about this!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2012): None of us here can read your fiancées mind, she is the person you need to speak to about this because you say "I'm pretty sure she's not fully satisfied" which suggests she hasn't said anything at all but your imagining the issue to be more than it really is.
Lots of people will tell you that the actual sex isnt where your partner will get most of her pleasure, no matter what your size, it is the foreplay that actually counts and if you say you spend a lot of time on that then she is probably very satisfied.
If she is a loving, caring partner she will not want to see you go through unnecessary surgery, if she suddenly felt her boobs were too small would you want to see her to through an operation when you know you love her how she is? Something similar was I felt like my teeth were not straight enough and wanted to undergo some cosmetic dentistry and I imagined my fiancé had noticed but on telling him what I was considering he was quite upset that I would want to go ahead when he had never noticed an issue and would be upset to see me change as he fell in love with how I looked and didn't need to make any adjustments! She will feel the same way, if it is proving too much of an issue for you then perhaps see your doctor because counselling might be an option to stop you thinking so negative but just speak to your fiancée and she will reassure you everything is fine.
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