A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend recently told me he had mites, or some sort of bug on his skin which he isnt sure how he got. I am rather freaked out, especially since he said it will be gone in a few days. However, I looked online and it said what hes got is highly contagious.The problem is, he's coming down to see me when its gone in a few days he said and still wants to kiss and so on, but I dont want to be close to him till they are gone for sure, at least a week. but how do I tell him this politely? It cant be nice to know your partner is put off you, I just need to know they are gone for sure. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2012): just tell him to keep his hands OFF YOU
A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (4 August 2012):
 He needs to get to a doctor to get this sorted out and until then he needs to be behaving like he has the plague. He is being selfish by not waiting until it's cleared up. He is essentially saying you should be miserable for a long time so he can get laid. Different people have different tolerances for catching illnesses, some banish their partners for having a cold, some are OK with minor things but worse things like strep, influenza, etc... they treat like the plague, but I don't know many who will expose themselves to scabies.
I think you just need to be blunt that you love him, but you don't want these bugs on you and he needs to get them treated AND wash all his clothes and sheets and shower before coming to see you.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (4 August 2012):
 Has he been at his doctors? If so they you need to trust him, and not whatever you read online. Online information is often highly exaggerated.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 August 2012):
 Not to sound rude or a prude, but EWW..
I would ask him if he is getting treatment for it and honestly, I would wait til he is "cured" and cleared by his doctor before being close and naked next to him. I wouldn't want him in my bedding either.
I would just be honest with him, tell him that is is something you do NOT want to share (the mites/scabies) whatever it is.
The fact that he seems so nonchalant about it makes me want to step away.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (4 August 2012):
 The most polite way to tell him is to be blunt and keep it brief.
If you're too 'nice' he will either not see your concern, misunderstand, and think you're worried about his health and then he'll offer you all sorts of reassurances and you'll feel pressured. OR he'll get defensive, especially if you act as though you feel guilty.
'I did some research and those mites are highly contagious. So you can either visit now with no touchy feely or visit later when I am confident they're gone. Either way I don't plan on getting them msyelf so let me know what you want to do.'
Whatever you do, do not add something silly like 'Sorry, but' or I don't mean to be rude but' or 'I don't want to hurt you but'. it would sound mealy mouthed and patronizing.
The above might sound harsh compared to what you're used to but it isn't. Your right to be and believe you are safe and healthy is more important than his desire to be intimate with you. Never feel shy or guilty about making that distinction.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2012): Sounds like scabies, has he started being treated for it? I got those recently but had them before when I was a kid, so I noticed them early and got rid of them in about 2 days, it takes a lot of work and effort to get rid of them and there is no chance in hell I'd even consider touching another person. I slept in the spare room of our house and didn't touch my girlfriend for a week, all the while washing everything I touched and bagging any towel I used, my sheets and stuff too and boil washed them at the at the end of the week.
OP this isn't like a cold or something where it's worth still having a kiss and cuddle because it's not too bad. Mites are a horrible itchy bitch that you need to get rid of before you go near people.
He shouldn't even be considering calling over OP because he may leave them on your furniture, towels and bedding.
OP you're not put off him, you're put off catching an annoyingly itchy little parasite that burrows under the skin need anymore motivation to tell him to wait a bit longer until it's been completely cleared, well then imagine how much fun it would be to have thousands of these http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5N0iD6yfe-M/TkQtP4awo_I/AAAAAAAABsE/fxrQKulPAYA/s1600/photolibrary_rf_photo_of_scabies_mite.jpg
Burrowing under your skin and eating you.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (4 August 2012):
 If you are talking about scabies, then he needs to see a doctor as soon as possible for treatment. I would not see him as scabies are VERY CONTAGIOUS. This is a bug that burrows under your skin...trust me...you do not want them. They also live in carpet, in bedding, and in clothing, so once your boyfriend begins treatment, he is also going to need to wash all clothes and bedding, and clean his home to make sure he is rid of them.
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