A
female
age
36-40,
*ez7
writes:hi everyone,for a few months now i have been sure my partner has lied to me about a few things. i tried to let it go at first but the feeling and the way he has acted persisted. so after finding some evidence i confronted him. i only asked a few things at first hoping he would come out with it himself, but when he didnt i said what i had found and asked him why he had lied.he just went all quiet and asked how i knew, he seemed more upset that i had found out and maybe fed up, so he said he was tired and would call back in a few days.im not angry, i just dont understand.do you think i did the right thing in confronting him?thanks Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (13 August 2012):
 I think it's always a good idea to confront someone who you KNOW is lying to you. If you keep it in and pretend all is good you end with with two things.. it festers and the other person will assume lying is OK with you.
And why does he need to wait a few days to call you back? To think up a better lie? To hope all is forgotten? He needs to own it and stop lying.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (13 August 2012):
 It really depends on what it was he lied about.
If he was concealing a very painful episode from his past then that is his right and you were callous in confronting him.
If you live together and he was racking up debt or doing something to put you both in financial jeopardy, for example, then you had every right to probe and confront. Though there are often more effective ways of problem solving than a bold confrontation.
Not much information to go on here.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (13 August 2012):
 You did the right thing. He was doing the wrog thing by lying, and theres no excuse.
If he can't stop lying then you shouldn't be with him. I'm sorry to be so blunt about it, but I dated a liar once and I know if they lie about one thing they lie about many many other things. And then a small thing becomes a big problem. It's just too risky to put your heart on someone who lies.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (12 August 2012):
Yes. Always confront a liar when you have the evidence. You did the right thing. Someone who lies this much may not be worth the effort.
In your boyfriend's case, I think he's shown himself up to be a rotten apple. You've caught him lying, and you've confronted him. Yet he;s the one who's angry, and he's the one who said he was 'tired' and would call you back 'in a few days'.
That's not a man who's willing to prove himself - that's a man who's been caught and doesn't are.
Perhaps the time has come to move on from him.
...............................
|
