A
female
age
41-50,
*ennaHB
writes: I have heard a lot of times that men put women into 2 categories on spot: girlfriend/wife material AND just for fun/sex buddy etc. What are your insights on this topic? Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (2 August 2012):
I think Cerberus makes a valid point, there are more than two categories. However, the categories he lists can be grouped into three sub-types - Girls a guy would not sleep with (friends, relatives, etc), girls a guy will sleep with but he doesn't see as a life long mate (from one nighters to a seasonal fling to even a multi-year relationship without solid commitment), and finally girls a guy sees as long term potential (so called "wife material").
Sometimes women are categorized on a nearly instant basis, and other times they might initially qualify for one group but later be downgraded once more is known about her. A lot of it does depend on the mindset of the guy, too, and is in no way a reflection of the woman.
Hope this helps!
A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (2 August 2012):
I think it's true. Well, some men have girls as platonic friends as well, but there's definitely some girls that are girlfriend/wife-material, and some that are just "for fun". A girl that has slept/been in a relationship with one of their friends is probably never going to be girlfriend-material, for example. A girl that's had too many sexual partners for a man's taste can also be "just for fun".
Girls do this too, it's not uncommon.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2012): It's all about perception OP.
Personally I have far more "types" than that.
Sister, mother, friend, acquaintance the list goes on.
Even when I'm typing them as regards relationships there are whole host of types.
At one period in my life all women were only good for sex, in other periods I never considered women as "just for fun", as relationship only and other times I didn't consider women in romantic or sexual terms at all.
Personally I think putting them into just two categories is too limiting, there are so many different ways you can be with a woman. Some are one nighters, some are "only if I'm drunk and there aren't any better around", long term partners, summer girls, christmas flings, holiday romances (two week girlfriends), online girlfriends, online sex buddies, online pen pals, rebound girls, platonic friends, minor acquaintances, drunken conversation buddies, affection friends, friends with benefits, the list is endless and it all depends on your needs/desires, theirs and the situation at the time.
2 categories is far too limiting.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (2 August 2012):
Hi
Men may label women as to how they percieve them, or how they want them to be.For example. A man may see an older woman,love the sex,but because of the age differene never want to marry her. A man her own age would see her as great wife material because they are compatable in all areas.
Thers no hard and fast rules, maybe a girl who puts herself about might 'earn' the easy label, but there are plenty of wives who once had that label. You can't help who you fall in love with.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (2 August 2012):
The sad thing about this is that it is often true. I'm not sure it is done "on the spot", however, except on a small number of cases.
I think, however, that the "true truth", as someone said, is that someone who starts a relationship with you may have some "fate" for you in mind, and it is that decision, not who you are, how you are labeled. In simple words: you can be very much "wife material", but if someone decides he just isn't going to marry you, it won't matter how good you are.
And then someone else can find you "wife material" while another person won't, and the criterion for this does not necessarily have to be that the woman in question in "saintly". Some men will marry a prude, some others won't.
What if a man married someone out of interest, and left her the moment he had the money he wanted, just to go sleep around?
I think women have some degree of control as to how men classify them in this sense. Some degree, I say, because sometimes you can't know what intentions the other person has in mind. If a woman know how to read the signs and refuses to play by his rules, then the chances that she won't be "marriage material" are lower.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 August 2012):
No I personally, don't believe in "typing" people that way. The thing is someone may be "type cast" into the wrong category and YOU lose out on an amazing person.
Do guys do this? I'm sure some does.
I do think, that women (and men) can act in a way where they are perceived as "easy" and "disposable" (or as you call it fun/sex buddy).
Sounds like the classic Madonna/Whore complex.
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