A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I am 5 months into my first relationship, I am 21, and this relationship is with a girl. I always presumed myself to be straight, but then I never really had reason to question or doubt myself- the only time I did was when friends would try and get me talking to explain why I always avoid drama and don't want anything with any guy, and only get physical crushes on guys but never get to know anyone to a point of potentially a boyfriend. Thus, I am a penis virgin.I didn't really have a problem with what I was though, because for as far back as late primary school I have masturbated, and this goes through phases of multiple times a day to maybe once a week. So I have an inherent sexual-ness I have never doubted, nor felt I needed to prove, and I feel like I know my body, well. But now that I am finally so emotionally with someone, when it gets to sex together I don't know what to tell her to do, she tries, but I cannot come. I feel bad because I can get her to come, but then when she tries so hard to return the favor it just doesn't work. Is this normal? Can any bisexual women give me advice how to make the physical side of this awesome but tested relationship work? I don't understand why I am so easy on my own but together it doesn't work.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2012): Hi,
I think you need to know where you'd like her to kiss you, etc. there are parts (neck, face, bust, lower abdomen, thighs etc.) of the body that react to touch, kisses and get you in the mood, and they're different for everyone. Once you've found them and you're relaxed, you will be more ready for it, your girlfriend could try again. I'd say that taking your time is key here. Good luck!
A
female
reader, Atsweet1  +, writes (8 August 2012):
 In dealing and pleasuring women it can be like looking for artifacts in Egypt you will be in the heat of the moment you will sweat because of heat then you must take gentle care of the items they are delicate and valuable and rare there's this thirst to find them and when found your thirst is quenched its a great find when its all said and done but what pleasure in lady may not work for another factors include different things like 1st sexual experience comfort variety of partners openess and open-minded to different things if or not is the person teachable to learn about you and self some of us have kinks and fetishes and turn ons and offs others can can not and will not understand some are way freaky some are prudish thats life make it work
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A
female
reader, lover06 +, writes (3 August 2012):
i am not bi but fully lesbian and you problem is not as bad as you think or not at all bad. i have the same thing i dont get there, as my girl but i do , it just takes way longer . so i say just remember the thing you do before you are pleasureing your self the thoughts that come to your mind the things that arouses you, and talk to your girlfriend about having sex way before you do it. start talking about it from the morning ,talking will get you relaxed and it will also give your girlfriend hints about your soft spots or you could just tell her what make you feel good. begin relaxed is the key dont rush and take lots of time and as the other one said it to keep on trying, dont get disappointed ,that's the worst part. Good luck hope things go well.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 August 2012):
 Some women find it more difficult to orgasm than others.. that's all I can tell you. I can climax in 10-20 minutes on my own (by using toys or the shower). But there's only been one guy, several years ago, who managed to make me orgasm. And he only got me there twice, and that was after a year and a half of trying.
So all I can tell you is to focus on breathing techniques, close your eyes and think of something that really gets you going, and practice practice practice. Just do it a lot. Don't let it frustrate you, you'll get there I'm sure. But like I said, it took my ex a year and a half of intensively trying before he managed it, and by that time we were actually breaking up so ... too bad, because I only got those two times. Never been able to come with anyone else before or since, but I'm workin on it. Just give it time and practice.
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