A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel a bit puzzle about my sexual orientation. I am attracted to guys, I have crushes on a lot of guys. But at the same time, I do have crushes on girls. I think i am sexually aroused by guys. But when I see girls who are pretty, I will be become interested in getting to know them. Recently I met a girl who is 12 years older than me, I think she is good looking and has a nice personality. I later developed a crush on her. I don't wanna have sex with her though since I feel it is disgusting that two girls have sex. But I will fantasy myself being a guy and go out with her. If I were a boy, I wanted to sleep with her. So that's that mean I am bi or straight. I am not sure fantasying myself as a guy is a sign i am bi. I need some help here, thanks!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 February 2013):
 Sexuality is a spectrum. There’s straight (male/female ONLY) bisexual (male/male is ok male/female is ok and female/female is ok) and homosexual (same sex partners)
It’s my personal belief (and that of many enlighten folks) that we all live on the spectrum… and that everyone is capable of any of the above orientations… there are also, transgendered folks who believe they are one sex living in the opposite sex body. These folks also have a sexuality spectrum. There are transvestites who are gay (think drag queens) and men who cross dress but are heterosexual.
You are not straight or bi or gay… you are YOU and you have options…
You want to sleep with her and experience it and you may find you don’t like it. You may find you do like it… that doesn’t make you bad or wrong.. it makes you pretty normal in my book.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2013): Like most of the comments here, I have pretty munch the same thing to say, your not gay, straight or bi, your you. I know that sounds cheesy but it's true (hey I rhymed lol). Sigmund Freud theorized that all people are born "polysexual" but later develop their sexual identity, and since there are what, 7 billion or so people in this world there are prob around 7 billion sexual orientations. If you desire men but are potentially attracted to women then thats what it is. I'm a male and completely attracted to females however I do fantasize about sex with men but have no interest in having a relationship with men. I don't call it being bi, I don't call it anything. Remember people use stereotypes to work out how to handle a person. Just be yourself and forget giving it a name,
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A
female
reader, priscillamae +, writes (3 February 2013):
If you cant sleep with a girl your straight. Why not just try to sleep with one. Than after you will know. I think you might be bi but like i said you wont know until you try it.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 February 2013):
 You do want to have sex with her, I'm guessing you actually DON'T think two women having sex is disgusting, you just say that because you've been taught to think that (your parents are conservative I guess).
Try have sex with a woman and THEN you will have an opinion on it. As for now, you really don't know what you think about it because you haven't tried it.
So are you bi or straight...? Well, you wont know the answer until you test the waters. In either case, a woman who is straight will not want to sleep with all men just because she is attracted to men in general. The same with lesbians or bisexuals, they wont like ALL men or women just because the generally prefer one or the other. You can be a bisexual, and yet there will be tons of people you aren't sexually attracted to! You don't have to like all men just because you are straight, and you don't have to sexually lust after all women just because you are a lesbian/bisexual.
Bottom line is that labels are irrelevant. You like who you like, and if you want to try things out with someone then whats stopping you? Just follow your heart and do what you WANT to do, as opposed to what you think you SHOULD do.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (3 February 2013):
Most people aren’t 100% anything. Human sexuality is complicated, variable and changes. You sound straight, but possibly a bit bi-curious. Maybe you don’t have any serious intent to have a lesbian relationship but you are mildly curious by the idea. At the end of the day it comes down to what you want and what you’re looking for. IF you want a guy and you’re attracted sexually to them to the point where you might want a relationship with them and you don’t feel this way for other women, you’re probably straight. Not everyone will agree with you that girls having sex is disgusting, but you do clearly feel strongly about this which further suggests you are straight. But no one label describes everyone perfectly, you just need to use whatever one seems most appropriate.
I wish you all the very best.
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