A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been stuck with this for over a year and a half now. I have developed strong emotions towards a guyfriend I've known for nearly 10 years. Never thought itd turn out this way. I don't know if he shares those same feelings. I've always heard things of how he feels towards me. They go both ways that he has feelings for me and that he doesn't. I shouldn't believe anyones side of the story unless I ask him myself. I plan to do that on valentines day. I think it becomes more important to him to reply to my question about how he feels towards me. So I can move on if I learn the truth that may either hurt me or make me the happiest woman. Either I break my heart or keep on pondering. Should I confront him on valentines day even if it seems like I've made my mind up already?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (6 February 2013):
 In either case... You got to let him know how you feel.
A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (6 February 2013):
 Talk to him during the week, meet for a coffee, that way if it get's awkward you can make your excuses and leave. "Well thanks for the chat, I feel better now it's out there, I best be off I've got work tomorrow" or whatever.
Don't have the chat on Valentine's day and don't have it on a Friday/Saturday night. You can't make your excuses to get away if it doesn't go the way you want it to.
Do me a favour. Do NOT do this; "send him a valentines card because you never know otherwise. just send him one but put who its from inside and maybe put your e.mail address or phone number in the card and that way if you get a reply at least your know he is interested".
This isn't some RomCom hollywood film. This is real life.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 February 2013):
 I would NOT do it on valentines day.... and I would not think of it as a confrontation... more like seeking clarification... confrontation sounds so hostile...
how about now... this week... or weekend... nothing elaborate.... "hey bobby-joe, let's go get a cup of coffee I need to talk to you about something... nothing serious"
and go from there.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2013): Hi, try meeting him for coffee and tell him that you see him more than just a friend and also tell him you have no expectations but if he does not feel the same way, you need to start keeping your distance as you need to heal.
This is the only way you will know where you stand but also that you need to keep away from him in order to break free from this emmotion.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 February 2013):
 No, not on Valentine's Day. It's too " loaded " . Imagine if he does not reciprocate your interest and has to reject you, - then he gets to be the guy who breaks a nice girl's heart on Valentine's Day. How uncomfortable. Poor guy. If he's your friend, don't do that to him.
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A
female
reader, misLadYd..  +, writes (6 February 2013):
 why not tell him before valentines day??
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