A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:HiI've been seeing a girl for nearly 2 years,she is great and everything but recently her mother has become ill, so she has to look after her.Now i ask to see her but she always says shes busy looking after mum, but she goes to the cinema once a week with her friend and goes to the pub every friday night with her friend.I offer to go round and see her whilst shes looking after her mum, but she says her mum wouldnt like vistors.She texts me everynight, but its go to the point where i havn't seen her in person in nearly 3 months (its only a 10min drive between us)Should I continue seeing her or break things up. I understand her mum is ill and everything, but it annoys me how she has time for her friends but not for me.Thanks
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male
reader, Beingblack +, writes (3 February 2013):
 There is nothing to end, she has ended things already.
If I was 'dating' a girl who lived only ten minutes away, who would not allow me to come to her house, who was going out without me in her spare time, and whom I had not seen in 3 months, I would be long gone!
Do yourself a favour, stop texting her, and find a real girlfriend. She has kept you hanging on for no reason.
Surely, after nearly 2 years, you had met your girl's mother, and formed a relationship, no matter how basic?
Tell your 'girlfriend' you would like to come to her house to bring flowers and grapes for her sick mother.
If she says yes, well she has been lying to you about her Mums fear of visitors for the last 3 months, and why would she lie?
If she says no, why wouldnt her Mother accept gifts? Your girl is lying to you about everything, and why would she lie?
Draw your own conclusions.
Best of luck.
A
female
reader, CANDY61  +, writes (2 February 2013):
I can understand she has to take care of her mum but she does have free time, she's just not spending it with you.
Is she the only child? You haven't seen her in nearly 3 months, yes it's time to move on because sounds like she's using he mum as an excuse. Never wait for someone like that, take the pain, move on and find someone that feel the same as you feel for them.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (1 February 2013):
 Look to her actions. She obviously does have time, she just chooses to spend it with friends. Have you seriously talked to her about this? You need to talk to her before you end things and at least ask her why she is not prioritizing the relationship. If you are in a relationship you need to nurture it, and take care of it, and make it your priority. She can not just let it drop and not see you for 3 months and expect things to be okay. It clearly shows she has little or no need to see you. How important are you to her, if she cares so little about making an effort to see you?
I think she should spend time with her friends, as opposed to spending every free minute she has with you. However, she should also spend time with YOU, and not spend every free minute with her friends. There needs to be a balance.
From her actions, it looks like she does not love you.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (1 February 2013):
 I agree with Person12345 totally.
When my husband and I were dating we were a 2 hour drive apart.
his grandmother (who he considered his mother because she raised him) was very ill... he leaned on me... he needed me there... he called me daily, I visited on weekends. She was in a nursing home but he made sure to take me to visit and meet her and we were not dating all that long at the time.
when my mother was dying I did not have a partner... it would have been so much easier had I had someone who loved me to lean on....
she's reduced you to text friend...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2013): You should definitely talk to her and tell her how you feel and that you can't carry on being with her like this. And she might change or she might not but if she doesn't then you should leave her and move on.Hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (1 February 2013):
Sorry buddy, but she ended things awhile ago, she just hasn't had the courage to tell you.
If I were you I'd just stop texting her back and move on. Don't break up with her, she already broke up with you so there's no point.
If you feel the need to make things official then by all means call her, but don't make a big deal out of it.
I hope you learned your lesson. You let things go on way to long like this. Not seeing her for three months when she lives right by you? You should have been asking this question more than two months ago! Then maybe something could have been done.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2013): I agree with person12345. Tell her you can't go on with this level of contact, at the moment you have no relationship and she doesn't even have 5 minutes to see you in person.
You basically are just a text buddy.
Very bad sign though OP, even when she does have the time to meet you she chooses others, it honestly sounds over to me.
My Fiancée is the first person I turn to when things are bad, my first port of call to help me take my mind off things and unwind/have fun and most of all there's the sex. What better stress reliever is there?
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (1 February 2013):
 It's not a good sign that she is going through a hard time and is pushing you away rather than looking to you for support. Spending three whole months apart when you're only 10 minutes away is, in my opinion, as good as ending the relationship.
You should give her one more chance and say you really need to talk to her about what's going on, but if she blows you off, it's probably time to walk.
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