A
female
age
30-35,
*efinitely_intruiged
writes:So, my boyfriend has been asking me to be aggressive with him while we're having sex. His most recent request "I seriously want you to rape me sometime. Force me to do stuff like that, hit me, scratch me, bite me, punish me. Call me names. Pee on my, but like all over me or or my chest or something" surprised me, but only because I want to do it...but I don't know how...do any of you have any suggestions on what I can do? I obviously don't want to cause serious damage, but I want to do this for us. Men, what would you like to have done to you in this situation? Details please. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (10 May 2013):
 Actually no, it wouldn't be weird at all because you can't read his mind. He needs to be able to honestly and accurately describe his desires so that you know what to do! A frank talk about his fantasies is a great way to gauge what he wants and how far he's willing to go. Make sure you use a safeword so that you both have a way you can immediately stop everything!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Safeword
A
female
reader, definitely_intruiged +, writes (9 May 2013):
definitely_intruiged is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHaha! I'm sure that's where it's all coming from...would it be weird if I asked him to show me what he wants me to do? Like a video he saw where he thought "hm, I wish she'd do that to me."...?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2013): My goodness, someone has been watching a lot of porn. I suppose you can watch those kind of videos and get what you are looking for. Just be careful and make sure there are boundaries and talk about what each other is comfortable with when trying this stuff out. Keep in mind what you are seeing is over exaggerated for shock value and won't likely work out as smoothly as you think they will. Don't get in over your heads, you are both pretty young.
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A
female
reader, definitely_intruiged +, writes (9 May 2013):
definitely_intruiged is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo, it's just not something that's ever come to mind before. I'm not opposed to it. I'm kind of awkward and don't know how to be all "lick me here. Touch me there." I just don't know what to do. I'm not an aggressive person, but I'd like to be...it sounds fun!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (9 May 2013):
 Haha, well he already has told you what he wants you to do to him. So just give it a go. Test things out first, don't be super serious about sex. Just start trying something and see what happens. It doesn't have to be planned, just do things when you're in the mood. If you're having sex, and suddenly you want to put your finger in his butt or you want to slap his ass or blind fold him and put him in cuffs.. just do it. But agree on a safe-word with him first of all. Just a word that he can say if he wants you to stop, and is serious about it. Safety first. But as long as you're just playing around and stay safe it's all good. You might be surprised at how easily things will move along once you just start and get into it.
I didn't think my boyfriend was much of a role player in bed. But then one day I just playfully started role playing and he jumped right into it and he's never been so turned on before. Yet he's never talked about wanting to role play or anything.. so you never know. Just experience different things and when it works you know it.
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A
male
reader, peanut_gallery +, writes (9 May 2013):
He sounds like he may be submissive and is asking for a mistress who is into golden showers. If you read up on the topic, it may provide some useful info.
Don't feel bad if this is not to your liking. You kinda either like this type of stuff or you don't. I'm sensing you don't like it but he may not be able to do without it. So be very honest with each other.
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (9 May 2013):
Sounds like he wants you to Top him.
There are a few books you can get on Amazon that'll teach you how to Top effectively. Check out "The New Topping Book" and "The New Bottoming Book" and "Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns"
I'm openly involved in BDSM and recommend all these books to bondage and kinky games newbies, they're enlightening and informative as well as amusing and interesting to read! Enjoy them, they'll teach you A LOT!
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A
female
reader, definitely_intruiged +, writes (9 May 2013):
definitely_intruiged is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm not uncomfortable with it...it just doesn't come naturally to me...but it's something that I want to try.
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A
female
reader, xAx  +, writes (9 May 2013):
 I think he just means you to be in control. Tell him what you want him to do in an aggressive voice. For example, tell him to do stuff to you, where to do it, how to do it. Ride him hard, turn him over forcefully, tease him from going slow to quick. Maybe even tell him to do stuff to himself. Be specific with him. I suggest to buy some toys, that you could use on yourself while he watches, or himself or during sex. For example, handcuff? Vibrators?
He obviously likes the thrill of you being spontaneous, but don't do anything you're not comfortable with. Make sure he respects that too as sex is meant to be enjoyable for both.
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A
female
reader, Got Issues +, writes (8 May 2013):
 OK, but do you want to do it because it's a fantasy of yours or because you think he'll like you better if you do it. You should only agree to do things that you yourself feel comfortable with. Have a word with yourself about this. Don't just go along with stuff to please others.
If you really do want to do this for yourself, because it turns YOU on, then I suggest introducing one small thing at a time, like biting or scratching, or a slap here and there, maybe some dirty talk. If you try to do everything at once it will feel and seem very unnatural.
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