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age
36-40,
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writes: I'm starting a new job next Monday. I'm real excited about it, but there's one thing that worries me. I'm kind of a slow learner, (slower than most people I know). In the past, that's really annoyed my supervisors and managers at other jobs. They accused me of not listening. The thing is, I WAS listening, but either I just didn't remember, or didn't understand. At one of my jobs, it caused my supervisor to dislike me, and she made my life miserable at work. It was the same way with school when I was a kid. I tried my best, but the best grades I could get were C's. I always took normal classes, never remedial ones because my parents refused to accept I was "slow". Instead, they accused me of being lazy. So what can I do to make sure I don't upset anyone at my new job? I don't want to wind up with another boss who doesn't like me, because it can really make work unpleasant. Why doesn't anyone seem to understand not everyone learns at the same pace?
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reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 May 2013):
 When you don't understand something, you need to ask questions. My mind works in detailed ways.. I don't get the overall picture that easily, and if someone hasn't told me the finer details of how something functions I don't understand it. Example, for my recent job I needed to learn a program that most at the job don't understand, because it's so full of details. When I was instructed in it the woman who instructed me wasn't that specific, and it didn't make sense to me at all. I almost fell asleep through the introduction. She gave me several manuals too, and they didn't make much sense.
So I took some time to just sit and run through the program on my own, experimented with it, then checked the manuals occasionally to see if I got the same results doing it "my" way. That's how I learned the system, but I had to do it on my own.
So I figure you need to do the same. If you don't understand something, you need to ask questions. Write down your questions, write down the answers. Write down notes when people tell you something, always keep your notepad ready. Your notes might help you later on when you figure something out, then go back to check your notes and then it might make sense.
If you learn things in a different way from others then YOU need to take responsibility and make sure you learn it the way you can. If you're not instructed in a way that fits you, then you need to instruct yourself.
I often google machines, systems/programs, in search of the specific details I need in order to understand something. I do this on my free time.
You could also tell the boss that you do learn things in a different way from others, if you feel you need more time or if you feel you're asking more questions than others would (mind you, most are scared of asking questions, but wondering the same things).
Make your own systems. If there are several codes you need to remember, then write them down. Practice them at home. Spend your free time preparing for work, because it will pay off in the long run. You'll learn how to prepare yourself, and your boss will like you. If you do a good job, you can get promoted, get a raise, and get a good letter of recommendation. So it is worth putting in all your efforts.
What is your field of work? What challenges do you face?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2013): Who said you are slow? Have you ever been actually diagnosed by a doctor?
All of us are good at some things and not so good at other things. For example, I am a computer engineer but I'm not good at dancing. My brain can solve complex mathematical problems but it can not coordinate my muscles and make my body dance.
You might be hyperactive. Which simply means your brain wanders, or concentrates on multiple things at the same time. Hyperactive people are smart and intelligent, but always distracted and leaning is a bit difficult for them.
Just go to a psychiatrist (not a psychologist) and explain your problem. They have medicine to help you concentrate.
Meanwhile, avoid coffee and caffeine. Try relaxing drinks like green tea. They help you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2013): I am very similar.
Taking notes help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2013): Approach your job with confidence and enthusiasm. Listen and "take notes." When you are shown how to perform a task, do a test run and practice until you are proficient.
Don't be afraid to ask questions or request help. Your parents may have shaken your confidence with their approach, but their intentions were good. They wanted to motivate you by pushing you to your fullest potential. Even if it was a "C."
The boss is supposed to push his/her employee to their best performance. It isn't personal. If you let your personal feelings get in the way, you frustrate the boss with poor performance. Leave the little girl at home, and take the woman to work. Take classes and read to exercise your mind.
Work on your ability to focus and analyze.
You have a new job. You know that you need a little more coaching to build your confidence. You apparently have the qualifications or you wouldn't have gotten hired. So you have to believe in yourself. They do.
The past is the past. You are now in the present and know what your weaknesses are, so work on them. Never defeat yourself before even trying. Go in with the attitude that you will not fail. You will do your best.
The secret to proficiency is practice. Practice makes perfect. If you make a mistake. Correct it. Write down any task you find to be difficult. Make notes on what you find difficult or done understand. Find a friendly co-worker that will take you under their wing, and help you to get the job down right.
Any assignment or task that you find difficult to manage, it is best to ask for help. Not make a mess out of fear and lack of confidence in yourself.
It is hard to learn because you fear failure. It paralyzes you. You worry more about your bosses opinion of you, more than the quality of your work.
Focus on what you're doing and how to get it done. Get plenty of rest and sleep at night.
Whenever it becomes possible, get tested for Attention Deficit Disorder (ADHD). If your mind is all over the place, it isn't your IQ. It's your ability to organize your thoughts and maintain focus. To perform a task from start to finish. There are medications that help; once your doctor has made a confirmed diagnosis.
Many people have it and never get a diagnosis.
Take home instruction manuals (only if authorized) or make cheat sheets. Study them at home. Use sticky notes as reminders to make sure you follow every step. Make sure you proofread anything written, before submitting it to your boss.
Our advice cannot make you confident. You find that from within. People close their minds and ask for help looking for a silver bullet. It is up to you. We don't have a remote control that will switch how your mind works. So you have to dig deep inside and convince yourself that you can do it. Don't give up until you do your best.
You can do it. You feel the jitters we all feel when taking on a new job. I think you're going to be fine.
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