A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend has a serious phobia of airplane rides. We've been dating for a year and will be taking our first international trip together soon. We're both looking forward to the trip itself but as our flight date approaches, he's becoming quite worried. He has prescription medications that we're bringing on the flight. I've seen videos and read articles to prepare for the worst. I want to be there for him the best way possible. For those of you who have panic attacks or partners/friends who do, what's the best way to handle it? Taking off on a plane doesn't give him the liberty to move around or cry even if it comforts him. I'm afraid other passengers may be affected. He said his last flight was the worst experience of his life as his panic attacks lasted for hours, and sometimes get trigged again due to turbulence. It would break my heart to see him so frightened but I'm so proud of him at the same time. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (10 May 2013):
 SVC, you are totally intelligent!
Ativan is phenomenal for panic attacks. I have never been afraid of flying (except for flying to Ontario airport on September 23rd, 2001 when we were all freaked out from 9/11),
But I wouldn't have gotten through dialysis without it at first. I lost it when they put a tube through my jugular and hooked me up to the machine the first few times. Seeing my blood leave my body and go through this machine had me flipping out in ways that even thinking about it leaves the ghost of the cold sweat it put me through.
If one of your prescription drugs is Valium or Ativan, that will work wonders!
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 May 2013):
 My husband is TERRIFIED of flying. We solved this problem with strong medication. Ativan or valium. Our doctor gives us just enough for the trip. He takes one when we get to the airport… he takes a second when we get through security (to keep him awake and coherent for security questions or scans) and then if he’s still shaky I’ll give him a third once we get ON the plane. We try to board early if we can so he can get a window seat. IF you can get a front row seat (more leg room) do it. By takeoff he’s almost asleep. During takeoff he tries to break my fingers and that’s ok. He’s terrified and I understand this as my mother was also a terrified flyer. She actually chose to SAIL across the ocean from NY to Germany instead of fly.
Once we are in the air he is next to the window and he can lean against it and fall asleep (we bring a small pillow from home for him for this purpose. If he’s chilled I cover him with coats or sweaters if we have them with us. The longest flight we’ve done is 4 hours. He slept most of it, but he also lost most of the first day of our trip due to this. If the flight is over 6 hours you can pop him another pill when he wakes up if he wants it.
He could also try hypnosis (if he believes it will work it will work) or biofeedback in addition to sedatives. Also call the airline and ask them if they have any provisions for terrified flyers.
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A
male
reader, Ford  +, writes (9 May 2013):
One can not simply "cure" this type of thing...
And since it's not affecting his normal life, I suggest to do nothing about it. Can't you choose a cruise ship instead? Or train? Or even a car?
It is VERY important that we shouldn't pressure such people to do what they can't do. Don't even mention his problem to him. It will only get worse.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2013): I think he should have a scotch on the rocks or a glass of wine before the flight. And during the flight. That will calm him down and put him in a good mood. But dont mix it with his prescription meds. I get anxious sometimes pre flight and during flight. I have a beer or a glass of wine, and then I feel great. DO NOT give him weed. He will freak out.
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A
male
reader, peanut_gallery +, writes (9 May 2013):
You guys are taking steps to prepare which is very good.
Some people claim that hypnosis by trained therapists specializing in the field has helped.
As someone else mentioned, speak to the airline. While not likely, it is possible you may get a last minute bump into biz class. If not, bulkhead or exit row seats will provide a lot more room. If you can't get those, at least try for an aisle seat.
Find the exact aircraft type you will be flying and look at seatguru for actual seating charts.
To minimize the effects of turbulence a bit try to sit either near the wings or forward. This won't make a world of difference but turbulence is felt the most in the rear of the plane.
I flew back an forth to Europe about 15 times in a very short period of time. On my last flight I felt rather "yuck" about the whole thing. While going to Europe the person in front leaned the seat all the way back to where it was literally 8-9 inches from me. That was a loooooong flight. I felt trapped and started exhibiting many of the symptoms of anxiety.
For the return, I mentioned my anxiety and they gave me the nicest, wide open seat anyone could ever ask for. It made a world of difference!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (9 May 2013):
 The others give great advice. So just as a side note I will say that my step dad was afraid of flying too. The only time he wasnt scared at all was when he had been out all night drinking, slept for two hours, and then was like a zombie on the plane. I was the one who had to fly with him, so I know. He slept through the entire flight.
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A
female
reader, HappyPlace  +, writes (9 May 2013):
 If you check on You Tube - "Tapping for fear of flying" and look at the Brad Yates video. It is a technique which I used recently when I flew off on my honeymoon. Prior to that, I hadn't flown for 15 years due to fear of flying. I felt I had a tool to use if things got a little scary!! Also, it might be worth you partner investing in a fear of flying course which most major airlines do. It might alleviate some of his fears. Also, a hypnotherapist once told me that fears have to be faced otherwise they have a habit of creeping into other areas of your life!! Hope all goes well and that you have a lovely trip x
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (9 May 2013):
Oh man, phobias are so tough to deal with when you have one. He is really brave to go on the flight regardless of the crippling anxiety.
Sounds like he's already getting therapy if he's got prescription drugs to help cope. Truthfully, you being with him is one of the best calming agents there is, because your voice, your warmth, your words are like security blankets.
Another thing you can do is pre-inform the flight attendants of his phobia and ask them if there's anything they can do to help him, as I'm sure that many passengers have had anxiety on flights, so they are experienced.
Sometimes good old distraction helps dampen an anxiety attack. Instead of asking him over and over if he's okay, it may be good to take his mind off of where he is.
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (9 May 2013):
 Take him to see a doctor and let them know he has panic attacks while flying. They'll give him appropriate medication to keep him calm.
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