| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Why does society think that asexuals are either gay or have "broken" DNA?
Q. Good evening everyone. As a young woman, I am intelligent enough to understand that there are different people in this world who do not feel the same as the majority. Some people have no desire for intimacy or romantic relationships. It seems ...
A. 5 November 2013: Just to inform you that I went to a psychologist that "diagnosed" me as having been schizoid as a child/teenager. So I know quite lot about how they think and act, and I recognize that in you, hence why I went ahead and said it. Not to make you feel ... (read in full...)
Why does society think that asexuals are either gay or have "broken" DNA?
Q. Good evening everyone. As a young woman, I am intelligent enough to understand that there are different people in this world who do not feel the same as the majority. Some people have no desire for intimacy or romantic relationships. It seems ...
A. 5 November 2013: You do sound more like you have schizoid personality disorder, in my opinion. I recognize how you say you "tolerate" people. Thats what I did too, when I was younger. I didnt like or dislike people, I merely tolerated their existence. Schizoids are ... (read in full...)
Who should I go for? My fiance William or my soul mate Andy?
Q. I am at a relationship crossroads. I met my college sweetheart "Andy" when I was 18. We were friends for a year, and then dated for 3 and had planned to marry someday. We had typical young love problems and broke up when we graduated. He went to ...
A. 5 November 2013: Always end one relationship before you start another. This will bite you in the ass some day. You are romantically involved with Andy while ENGAGED to Willliam. Either Willian is the man for you or he isnt, regardless of Andy wanting you or not! ... (read in full...)
Have I had an orgasm?
Q. Hello! I'm a sexually confident 22 year old. I've masturbated for as long as I can remember almost, so I'm no stranger to my body. I was perfectly satisfied until I started talking to my female friends a few years ago when I came to an odd realis...
A. 5 November 2013:
Sounds like your previous boyfriends were newbs in bed. Men rarely make a woman climax, she needs to take the matter in her own hands and then teach him. If you have to ask, then no, you havent had an orgasm. But you will, eventually, so dont worr... (read in full...)
How do I find a good time to talk to my mother about first time sex?
Q. First, there is a seven year age difference between me and my significant other. I don't care about that, but getting info out of the way. Second, we've been dating for 3 months now. I am 18, he is 25. Things have heated up within this past month,...
A. 4 November 2013: He is afraid of taking advantage of you? Somehow your focus on how you feel "not forced" makes me uneasy. Of course you shouldn't be forced, or taken advantage of, but that should go without saying. The way you put focus on this makes it sound like ... (read in full...)
Best friend and I like the same man!
Q. I'm having a major love crisis. One of my best friends likes a guy and she has liked him longer than I have. Apparently I like him to and he likes me back. I haven't told her yet and I have talked to other people I trust and I have gotten different ...
A. 4 November 2013: So.. You like this guy. He likes you, you think. Doesnt sound like you will be missing out on the greatest lovestory ever.
She is your best friend. Friends come waaay before boys you merely "like". So check with her first, and dont be so ready to... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says I am asking him to chose between me and knowledge!
Q. I just told my boyfriend it bothers me that he is constantly either on his computer, his iPad (which I bought him) or watching TV. And his answer was that he's like that because he's constantly seeking knowledge and that I'm basically asking him to ...
A. 4 November 2013: You are not being unreasonable and he is being impolite. He can get his "knowledge" learning more about YOU, not everyone else. What he is saying is: you are not that interesting to him. So maybe you and him should not be together, since he isnt ... (read in full...)
I'm 33 and need to make up my mind on whether to have a baby or not?
Q. Hey! I've just turned 33 and I have a good life. I own my house, have great permanent job, I'm married to the love of my life and have no financial worries. So, it's smooth sailing. Thing is, I'm getting old and I must make up my mind whether to ...
A. 4 November 2013: I never heard of people regretting they had their children, but I have heard people regret they did not have children. You are NEVER going to be ready for a child. And yes, it will eat up all your "me" time, at least the first years. But you can ... (read in full...)
Was there veritas in his vino?
Q. Okay so this isn't a really major one but last night I went to a nightclub with my mates, then one of the guys who I've know for about a year (we don't really text or anything) well he's jut got a job which will mean he is living abroad for sixth ...
A. 4 November 2013: Ask him while he is sober. ... (read in full...)
Should you reveal what you did in the past?
Q. What does everyone think about revealing a shameful episode of cheating on a previous partner to a future partner? If cheating took place in a long , supposedly committed relationship, and went on for a few months then is this something that n...
A. 3 November 2013: I don't think you have messed up your future at all. Yes, people would be skeptical of a cheater up front, which is why you probably are better off keeping it to yourself.
But, if it is revealed later on by them finding out in some way or anoth... (read in full...)
What goes through a 16 year old girl's head? I'm 21 and not sure
Q. Hello everyone(: So there's this girl, she's 16 Then there's me, I'm 21. One day on Facebook she posted a sad status about how her ex done her wrong so I messaged her and told her to keep her head up because one day she would find a guy who would ...
A. 3 November 2013: Mature? She's not mature. She's perhaps calm in her manner and presents herself well, unlike others you have met. But 16-year olds are only 16, no matter how you twist and turn it. They only have 16 years of experience in life, and, they aren't ... (read in full...)
How can I explain my birth defect to girls?
Q. Hey everyone So heres my situation...I was born with a birth defect of my hands where a few of my fingers are shorter and honestly I'm comfortable enough with myself where I can admit it's weird and not a turn on for girls...it's gotten me denied b...
A. 3 November 2013: I think maybe you need to explain your situation better to us before we can give good advice.
Can you explain what "on disability" means? From what I can tell, it is you being on disability (not working I presume?) that is a turn off. While ma... (read in full...)
How do I deal with childlessness issues?
Q. How do I deal with childlessness issues? Especially the qustion "why haven't I had any"? I'm single and don't have any fertility issues - I've just never met a guy who wanted to get that serious with me. My chances of conceiving a child ha...
A. 3 November 2013: You have gotten good advice already. I just wanted to say that I hate that question too. I think only people who are uncertain of their own life choices would pry into anothers personal space like that. Ive been getting that question from "friends" ... (read in full...)
He won't help clean our apartment!
Q. Okay everyone. I need some help! My boyfriend and I fight a lot because he will not help me our apartment clean. Right now it is so gross. Dishes everywhere, clothes and trash in the floor. Food all over the counters in the kitchen. I stopped ...
A. 3 November 2013: Move out or kick him out. Tell him you will start living with him again once ge has learned to clean up after himself. You already have one child, you dont need another (him). And do move out. This is very low of him, as an adult he knows better. ... (read in full...)
Should you reveal what you did in the past?
Q. What does everyone think about revealing a shameful episode of cheating on a previous partner to a future partner? If cheating took place in a long , supposedly committed relationship, and went on for a few months then is this something that n...
A. 2 November 2013: I say it is best to keep it to yourself, but be honest if asked about it. Everyone has done things they are ashamed of. But your story, and your past, belongs to you. It's private. Just because someone is in a relationship with you doesn't mean they ... (read in full...)
Should I cut my really long hair because my boyfriend likes short hair?
Q. I have really long hair. Myboyfriend an i really love each other. but he likes hair short so he is asking me to cut them. should i do what he says. i cant make up my mind but i do want to make him happy...
A. 2 November 2013: No. Never alter yourself for a man. What happens if he leaves you and you cut of all your hair? Will you be happy with the way you look when you know it didn't make him stay/love you more/happy enough?
Cutting your hair isn't what will make him... (read in full...)
Thin or curvy?
Q. I am in my late 20 s and have a 5 year old son. I was very thin when I got married 112 lb with 5.4 height. I was always getting attention from guys, though was called skinny sometimes. Now after divorce and my pregnancy I gained 25 lb. I am not o...
A. 1 November 2013: "Mer å ta i, mer å bli glad i"
Translates to: More to hold on to, more to love. ... (read in full...)
Thin or curvy?
Q. I am in my late 20 s and have a 5 year old son. I was very thin when I got married 112 lb with 5.4 height. I was always getting attention from guys, though was called skinny sometimes. Now after divorce and my pregnancy I gained 25 lb. I am not o...
A. 1 November 2013: I think this is all in your head. You don't get much attention from guys when you go out because you probably aren't putting yourself out there, being available, being open to contact. You just got out of a relationship, and you have a child, and ... (read in full...)
Sacrificed friends to the relationship and now have no one to confide in
Q. Hello aunts and uncles. I have found myself in a situation that I'm sure is common but I feel a little trapped and sad at the moment so some advice would be good. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years now, and during that time most of my girlf...
A. 1 November 2013: You will be fine. End the relationship, it's holding you back.
First you must stop putting up barriers for yourself. Being out of uni is no excuse to not make new friends, and the only one who is stopping you from making new friends is yourself... (read in full...)
My friends girlfriend is cheating on him... Do I tell him?
Q. This is a bit of a strange one. And to some it might sound bad on my part. I want to try to set the scene so everyone has a better understanding. A few years ago my next door neighbour moved in with his girlfriend. We both stay in semi detach...
A. 1 November 2013: Is he actually a friend of yours?
Would you go out and have a beer with him? Do you do friend things together? Or are you just neighbors that get along?
If he's a real friend of yours, and a close one too, then you can tell him. You'd be ob... (read in full...)
How do I break up with him? I love him with all of my heart
Q. Hi everyone. Well I've been in a relationship with a lovely guy for the last 4 years and I used to think he was the one. In fact I still do in some ways. However the last year or so has been very rocky because I've started to want more from the ...
A. 1 November 2013: I think you need to re-phrase it. You do in fact not want to be with him as things are now, with him not needing to see you, with you not getting to see him. It is like an unrequited love situation. You love him, and you wish you could have him, but ... (read in full...)
Could it be smegma or semen? Or is it evidence of cheating?
Q. this is a serious question if a man has a white powdery ring around his foreskin head does that mean he cheated and had sex? is that smegma? He is uncircumsized ....when he pulled back the skin I saw white clumpy stuff under the skin looks like ...
A. 1 November 2013: Is this the first time you see foreskin on a penis? The white things doesnt mean he cheated, its not semen, and its not female juices. Its natural, and just means that he needs to wash because its been a while since he rinsed. Dont have sex with him ... (read in full...)
No experience with players. How do you know if a guy is one?
Q. I need advice on dating. So, I haven't gone on dates for over 12 years. My ex-fiance and I were together 11 years and we did not even dated we were collage buddies. We have been separated for over a year now. I recently signed up for online ...
A. 31 October 2013: He doesn't sound like a player to me. But of course you need to take it slow, he is someone you don't know at all, you don't know him through friends or anything, so you have no background information on him. Just continue to take it slow. I think ... (read in full...)
He's a great guy, except for his sex drive
Q. I am frustrated beyond belief and the worst part is, I will NEVER EVER cheat. My boyfriend (who is, admittedly, a very good guy) and I have been together almost 3.5 years. No engagement ring yet and he always claims it's money which I get because ...
A. 31 October 2013: He's not the love of your life. There is no such thing any more than there are soul mates. There are compatible people and incompatible people. All the vodoo and "meant to be" notions are BS. Such as "love of my life". Sure you love him, and sure ... (read in full...)
After 5 years he tells me he never loved me and was just using me for sex
Q. after 5yrs the guy i was seeing told me he had meet someone else. Now discover that he never loved me and he only kept seeing me for sex. I feel so used and cheap. Im finding it hard to deal with as i loved this guy. how do i move on? jo ...
A. 31 October 2013: I have to echo the others. He's lying just to hurt your feelings, no one who simply wants to use someone stays for 5 years. No one stays for 5 years with anyone unless they actually like being with them. I think your ex is just trying to build up a ... (read in full...)
The last convo we had he said I was acting like a psycho and wants me to leave him alone. How do I fix all this?
Q. I've been dating this guy for aboyt 2 months. He has his own business and works crazy hours and gets stressed about it. In the beginning we spent a lot of time together. We went out and did enjoyable things together. Then he started a really huge ...
A. 31 October 2013: I admit, I read the headline question and then got to the part where you say you've been with him two months.
I don't need more information, move on. After two months, if it's gone crappers it wont get better and isn't worth fixing either. ... (read in full...)
I've become extremely needy and emotional, since I'm used to have her around my finger.
Q. Hey, I recently dumped my girlfriend of 4 years. I did it because I haven't lived my life and I was feeling that I wanted to meet other people. My girlfriend was wonderful but we wasn't on the same level, she was very responsible and ...
A. 31 October 2013: No, you don't want your ex back. You ended the relationship for your reasons, and those reasons are still there. She was too mature for you, too serious, and maybe too much of a homebody. Just because she's started going out more doesn't mean she's ... (read in full...)
He's a great guy, except for his sex drive
Q. I am frustrated beyond belief and the worst part is, I will NEVER EVER cheat. My boyfriend (who is, admittedly, a very good guy) and I have been together almost 3.5 years. No engagement ring yet and he always claims it's money which I get because ...
A. 31 October 2013: Your friends are having babies early, but I get what you mean with "babies left and right". I'm older than you, but some of my friends are starting to have families, not all, but some, and some younger than me. So I know how that pressure is! ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being labeled "The Nice Guy"
Q. Now this isnt a post of how the jerks get the guys and nice guys dont ... ha lets be fair the main thing that women like in these is the confidence and assertieness that they have .. but what winds me up is Im never going to one of them guys , you ...
A. 29 October 2013: I don't really know what to tell you, but I can say this.. you're throwing yourself a nice pity party.
If you want things to change then change them... Don't sit around and complain. You need to do something that is different, in order to achie... (read in full...)
I'm becoming less attracted to my girlfriend though I love her. What's the solution?
Q. I am a 23 years old guy, and I've been dating my girlfriend for a few months now. I've been alone for 5 years before I met her, and anything before her wasn't very serious, so I may as well say this is my first real relationship. She is 5 years ol...
A. 29 October 2013: Okay, then what are you wondering? You're not attracted to her, so end the relationship.
If you stay with her while not attracted that would be settling. And I mean settling in the same way you do, not as anonymous poster thinks. To him settling... (read in full...)
I'm becoming less attracted to my girlfriend though I love her. What's the solution?
Q. I am a 23 years old guy, and I've been dating my girlfriend for a few months now. I've been alone for 5 years before I met her, and anything before her wasn't very serious, so I may as well say this is my first real relationship. She is 5 years ol...
A. 28 October 2013: "I always pitied people who are only with their partners out of convenience."
I am going to suggest that you were also jealous of people who were in relationships, because you had such a hard time thinking you would ever be in one. So in order to... (read in full...)
When Will the Rose Colored Glasses Come Off?
Q. About 2 weeks ago I posted a question about my son cutting his friends and family out of his life because of a new gf. The verdict was just to give it time and he would come around. Now, here we are, with something that is even more perplexing ...
A. 28 October 2013: He needs to make his own mistakes and live his own life... You need to let him. He is not you, he doesn't have to act like you would. He is an adult now, making his own decisions. ... (read in full...)
We have sex but he never cums
Q. My long distance boyfriend and I have recently started having sex, he has been to see me two weekends in the past month and a bit and both times we have engaged in sexual activities. He can 'get it up' and maintain and erection over me however he ...
A. 28 October 2013: Ask him. But my guesses are: he was a virgin, and when a guy is new to sex it can take him a while to figure out how it works for him. Or: he was a virgin/very inexperienced, and worried he would come too fast, so masturbates before having sex with ... (read in full...)
He asked me for a date but its been 5 days since I've heard from him. Is it rude to break the date?
Q. Over email, a guy asked me to go out with him on day xyz. I replied, said yes that day sounds good. It has been five days and I haven't gotten his reply confirming the date and time with me. I know he can be busy or had an emergency but re...
A. 28 October 2013: Btw, if he happens to contact you because he, for whatever reason, thinks the date is actually on (he must be very aloof if so), then agree to meet him at said day, but at whatever time you are available. Maybe 6pm you are busy now. His loss for not ... (read in full...)
He asked me for a date but its been 5 days since I've heard from him. Is it rude to break the date?
Q. Over email, a guy asked me to go out with him on day xyz. I replied, said yes that day sounds good. It has been five days and I haven't gotten his reply confirming the date and time with me. I know he can be busy or had an emergency but re...
A. 28 October 2013: Make other plans. You and him didn't set a date or agree to anything. He suggested something, you were positive to the suggestion, but concrete plans were not made. You wouldn't be canceling anything, and it is ridiculous to think you should sit by ... (read in full...)
Should I start a relationship with someone that is leaving in a year?
Q. This guy and i have been hanging out for a month and a half, and we have been enjoying our time together, we go out all the time, we are affectionate towards each other, in other words we act like were together. I really want to be with him, because ...
A. 28 October 2013: I say go for it. Sounds like he is using his plans to leave as an excuse to not be with you though. So be careful, he might not be sincere. A year is a looong time.... (read in full...)
When Will the Rose Colored Glasses Come Off?
Q. About 2 weeks ago I posted a question about my son cutting his friends and family out of his life because of a new gf. The verdict was just to give it time and he would come around. Now, here we are, with something that is even more perplexing ...
A. 28 October 2013: People need to make their own mistakes. Don't try to interfere, let him have his life experiences, both good and bad. And you don't know, perhaps they will live happily ever after.
Don't concern yourself so much with the things you can not chan... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's boss gave us a dog and now they want it to visit them and I don't want to do it!
Q. My boyfriend and I adopted a 2 year old boxer from a couple that had too many dogs and the boxer became aggressive. They begged us to take the dog and we did. They were very thankful and didn't ask us to pay money and even gave us the cage and toys ...
A. 27 October 2013: Can you describe why you are bothered by this? When they came to visit one month in, why did you find it difficult, and why specifically difficult for YOU? Was it only difficult for you? Was your boyfriend fine with it, and does your boyfriend think ... (read in full...)
I am really stressed over my bi polar boyfriend behavior
Q. What should I do about these problems with my boyfriend?. He has Bipolar Disorder. He was very drunk a couple of nights ago. I was on the phone to him. He was shouting and swearing at people going past. He put the phone down for a second , and I ...
A. 27 October 2013: What do you know about bi polar personality disorder? Are you well informed?
There is nothing you can do about this. My father is bi polar, and paranoid, like your boyfriend is. You can't question him about anything, he will feel under attack. ... (read in full...)
What's the best sex toy for ldr?
Q. hi dear aunts, im in a ldr and we love each other very much, however we miss a lot the phsical contact. on my last visit i jokingly told her i would send her "something to keep her company, something she could enjoy and think of me while im away... ...
A. 27 October 2013: Go for what SoVeryConfused suggested. That's what I would think would work best too. But you have to know that a sex toy is just that.. a sex toy. It never compensates for physical contact. I think you and her are expecting too much from a simple ... (read in full...)
My friend always brings her boyfriend to girls night out and it's annoying!
Q. My three best friends and I have been a group since high school. Now that we're seniors in college, we're busy but we still organize bi-monthly hangouts. I attend the same school as one of my friends whom I see more often. She is the one I see most ...
A. 27 October 2013: She's your friend, so why can't you just tell her the truth? Be diplomatic and respectful, but say it like it is. That you would like girls night out to be JUST the girls. That while your respect their relationship, he isn't a good friend of yours, ... (read in full...)
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