| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Why do I make women bleed?
Q. Hello, the past 2 girls I have had sex with have bled after the intercourse was over while they weren't on their period. It didnt happen everytime we had sex but it did happen the 2nd or 3rd time. This has also happened a few times in the past and ...
A. 6 September 2013: You're too rough. Tons of women are scared to say what they really want in bed, and goes along with whatever the guy does. You'd be surprised to know just how many women NEVER tell the truth about what they want in bed.
You make them bleed! I... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was still sleeping with his ex 4 months into our relationship, and we got engaged after 6 months! Did he only propose because it had ended with his ex?
Q. My boyfriend confessed to me that he still had a sexual relationship with his ex when we met, and that it continued until we had been together for 3-4 months. He says he cant remember but that while we were together it only happened twice. I don't ...
A. 6 September 2013: Why did you accept his proposal?
You need to ask yourself this, because it seems to me so many women don't even care who the guy is, whoever he is, cheater or not, liar or not, complete stranger or not, if he pops the question she says yes!
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lied to me about his past and his sex life and I don't know how much to believe him now.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about 8 months now. Things have been fabulous, we’re looking at getting engaged soon. However, there are some things which are bothering me and I need some men’s opinions on this. I was a virgin when I met him b...
A. 5 September 2013: So, his logic is this: When he messes up, or does something that is a deal breaker in the relationship, he will just lie about it rather than be honest with you? And, exactly what do you think is the problem with that?
You may have guessed ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lied to me about his past and his sex life and I don't know how much to believe him now.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about 8 months now. Things have been fabulous, we’re looking at getting engaged soon. However, there are some things which are bothering me and I need some men’s opinions on this. I was a virgin when I met him b...
A. 5 September 2013: Like SoVeryConfused said, you need to look ahead. You are planning to marry this man, that means spending the rest of your life with him. I guess you're against divorce, right? So if you later find out he's lied again, but you are now married, you ... (read in full...)
Dating a man who treats me right but who I dont' find attractive enough. Help!
Q. I know this is shallow but I can only get myself to put in an effort with a guy if I find him good looking.. I'm in a relationship with this guy for 4 months,I don't find him all that attractive, he's a pretty decent looking guy but when women co...
A. 5 September 2013: And no, don't give it more time. You do not need more time to find out what you already know. If you give it more time you will just grow tired of him and feel like you are leading him on, and it will be leading him on. You'll just feel more guilty, ... (read in full...)
Dating a man who treats me right but who I dont' find attractive enough. Help!
Q. I know this is shallow but I can only get myself to put in an effort with a guy if I find him good looking.. I'm in a relationship with this guy for 4 months,I don't find him all that attractive, he's a pretty decent looking guy but when women co...
A. 5 September 2013: Even if you are waiting with sex until after marriage, how do you think sex would be with a man you do not find attractive? Not finding him attractive doesn't mean you think he is unattractive, it just means he's not the one you find attractive. But ... (read in full...)
Why is my height so unattractive?
Q. I have been rejected by hundreds of girls offline and thousands of girls online and have lost heart and all sense of my 'physical' self-esteem. It is very difficult to remain confident after that. My track record keeps me from trying now as I have ...
A. 5 September 2013: It's annoying to be classified as "the other side" just because I am a woman. As if my opinion, my thoughts, and the things I know for a fact are to be dismissed because I am a "woman, of the other side".
Excuse me? That's like me saying the OP s... (read in full...)
Dating a man who treats me right but who I dont' find attractive enough. Help!
Q. I know this is shallow but I can only get myself to put in an effort with a guy if I find him good looking.. I'm in a relationship with this guy for 4 months,I don't find him all that attractive, he's a pretty decent looking guy but when women co...
A. 5 September 2013: Smile at him, hold his hand, look into his eyes and tell him "Darling, 4 months is enough time. Let's not carry on when we both know it's not going to work." Then pat his hand, get up, grab your things and leave saying "Some day, some woman is going ... (read in full...)
Dating a man who treats me right but who I dont' find attractive enough. Help!
Q. I know this is shallow but I can only get myself to put in an effort with a guy if I find him good looking.. I'm in a relationship with this guy for 4 months,I don't find him all that attractive, he's a pretty decent looking guy but when women co...
A. 5 September 2013: I find it hard to believe he's has a need to tell you each time he gets a compliment? He's either very insecure or full of himself.
I don't think you are shallow either. You have a specific taste, you're not blind. If people weren't shallow ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lied to me about his past and his sex life and I don't know how much to believe him now.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about 8 months now. Things have been fabulous, we’re looking at getting engaged soon. However, there are some things which are bothering me and I need some men’s opinions on this. I was a virgin when I met him b...
A. 5 September 2013: You're not really in a position to be pointing fingers. You might claim that this "belief" of yours is so important, yet here you are, not married, and not a virgin. There is no guarantee you will actually end up marrying him. To then claim some ... (read in full...)
Why is my height so unattractive?
Q. I have been rejected by hundreds of girls offline and thousands of girls online and have lost heart and all sense of my 'physical' self-esteem. It is very difficult to remain confident after that. My track record keeps me from trying now as I have ...
A. 4 September 2013: What to you want us to tell you, you seem to have it all figured out and you seem to know exactly what your problem is... your height.
You don't want to know the truth to your top question "why is my high so unattractive". Because you don't wa... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is hinting about us moving in together but I don't want to do it for the wrong reasons!
Q. Hello everyone, I have a question regarding moving in with your significant other. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half. We're both 24, going to (the same) online grad school, and we both have very stable, well-payi...
A. 3 September 2013: What are the wrong reasons for moving in together?
People, in my experience, move in together when the timing is right, not when they feel the "emotion" of wanting it. Such a feeling is for when you want to pop the question of marriage, me think... (read in full...)
Should I pursue a relationship with a man who feels down most of the time?
Q. Hi guys ; I need some advice.I have known this guy for four months.He is 31 years old. He is a really funny person, always makes me laugh, sensitive and kind caring soul.We are friends at the moment and we have met up few times, every time we me...
A. 3 September 2013: "I am not sure I can fix his problems for him."
You need to understand very clearly that you can not, ever, fix anyones problems. Not this mans, not anyone elses. You can only fix your own problems, and only he is responsible for, and only he ... (read in full...)
Teenager is going to study and live alone in Canada
Q. I have a daughter, she is 13 years old. We are divorced with her mother. Mother wants to send our daughter to the secondary school in Canada to study. She plans that our daughter will stay alone and study. I don t agree with this plan, as I thi...
A. 3 September 2013: There was no talk of nerve system development when I prepared to move out of home at 15. And in the generation before me it was still very common in Norway to move out at 14. No nerve damage was done. And unless your family has a particular medical ... (read in full...)
My friend feels threatened by me around guys and I don't know what to do
Q. Okay. I have a friend who i have known since i was a kid. We are pretty close. But she is a bit hard to get along with...especially when it comes to guys. Maybe it is because she was sexually abused as a child. So she has never had a real relat...
A. 3 September 2013: Maybe because she was sexually abused as a child? I will say most definitely because she was sexually abused as a child, that sort of thing heavily messes someone up, and she's strong to just be in function and up and going, rather than having sunk ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to have fantasies about being anally raped?
Q. I'm just your normal, every day 17 year old girl. Sometimes I like to read erotic stories online. About two months ago, I stumbled upon this story where a teenage boy forced himself onto his sister, anally. I don't know why, but this turned me on ...
A. 3 September 2013: Interesting to hear back from you after so long, and glad you found the advice helpful. I feel like I have to defend HOneypie a little though. Everyone needs to assume a bit when giving answers online, just because there is too little information to ... (read in full...)
I think I am straight but hate that I am emotionally attracted to men also.
Q. I wrote in originally at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-am-a-male-and-hate-that-i.html but I'll clear up a few things for you to make it more specific: I'm emotionally and sexually attracted to women - normally, anyway, have dated women al...
A. 2 September 2013: Thank you for coming back with more information on what you feel. I think it is normal to not want to jump into anything sexual with men you don't know. Maybe I can offer a point of view that will enlighten you.. but you will have to come to ... (read in full...)
Torn between the girl leaving for university, and the local one.
Q. I'm not sure what to do, I'm in a boat I've never been before. I've been getting close to a friend of mine all summer, we both knew she was moving away to university 200 miles away and I gave her the option of either making things a proper relatio...
A. 2 September 2013: Look, you've already moved on from uni girl. You aren't in love with either girl, which is why you're torn. Neither is special enough. You already cheated on uni girl, sorry to inform you. No, you weren't formally going out, but you had a thing ... (read in full...)
Is it a red flag when a 55 year old man has lots of female friends young enough to be his daughters?
Q. Hello. I am 35yrs female (single). I am dating a guy who is 55yrs old (divorced). I like him very much and we are taking our time knowing each other. There is not intimacy between us yet and I like the way he respect it and we share quality time and...
A. 2 September 2013: I think you feel insecure because you're not the only younger female he knows, and you see these other women as a threat. Yes, it is a sign when he has so many young female friends, it means that he likes young women and prefers their company over ... (read in full...)
Can I get over his disgusting sexual past?
Q. If opposites attract can they live a long happy married life together? I am in my 40s, my children are grown, my first marriage lasted almost 20 years. I met a man who's also in his 40s with two grown children. He has been married two times before. ...
A. 2 September 2013: I'm thinking the problem here is that once you and him married, and moved together, you got to see the full scale of things. You met these "friends" before you married him too, and it wasn't a problem. But then after living with him, and seeing the ... (read in full...)
I am a male and hate that I get emotionally (but not sexually) attracted to other men. Is this normal?
Q. I am 23, and I've started finding myself getting emotionally attracted to men and I HATE it. I don't feel sexually attracted to them, only emotionally, sure there are some physically attractive men, but it only goes as far as looks and emotional ...
A. 2 September 2013: Of course it is normal, when there are gay bars you are surely aware that there are indeed men who fall in love with other men... And it is thankfully no longer classified as a mental illness, although it was still thought to be a disease not long ... (read in full...)
Where does her money go?
Q. For about 1 month now, I have started dating a stripper that I met in my neighborhood (she's my neighbor's niece). The relationship so far has been going great, her line of work hasn't interfered with our relationship. So far she has been very ho...
A. 2 September 2013: Taxes? Besides, how do you know how high her bills are? She could be paying off debt. She could be putting money aside to buy a house later on. She could be buying drugs for all we know. Or maybe she loves shopping. Whatever it is, it is best not to ... (read in full...)
How do you get over the one that first broke your heart?
Q. I have been asking this question to myself, over and over for a long time now. When I think I found an answer, something else comes up and places me back where I do not want to be. We were together for 10 years. We were going to be married....
A. 2 September 2013: Is this the only girlfriend you ever had? In the six years you were "friends", did you not go out and date?
This is why staying friends with an ex is a bad idea! It just brings more hurt, and drags the pain out and eats away at you for even lon... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is convinced he is not "BIG" enough.
Q. Hello dear internet, I have nowhere else to turn and thus I find myself here requesting your genial and honest advice. This is mostly an appeal to men, personally as a woman I don't understand it but anyone who can offer advice I will be very ...
A. 2 September 2013: He's not look for you to be happy with his size. You're not the one he's trying to impress. He's looking to impress the other guys in the shower. Probably some guy(s) have huge flaccid ones, and he compares himself to them and feels small. He's not ... (read in full...)
How much will it cost per month to have a girlfriend? Outings,gas, gifts, clothes? I need to factor the cost into my budget
Q. How much does a girlfriend cost per month? Do not bother replying if you say "priceless" or "too much" as those sayings are far too old and a scapegoat. Women, don't bother replying with bs that you are free, and don't tell me that you always pay ...
A. 1 September 2013: Just to say one last thing, all the boyfriends I have had have saved money by getting together with me. Because I'm tight on money, so I don't like going out (because I do pay my own way). That means they don't get to go out either, not partying ... (read in full...)
How much will it cost per month to have a girlfriend? Outings,gas, gifts, clothes? I need to factor the cost into my budget
Q. How much does a girlfriend cost per month? Do not bother replying if you say "priceless" or "too much" as those sayings are far too old and a scapegoat. Women, don't bother replying with bs that you are free, and don't tell me that you always pay ...
A. 1 September 2013: Oh man, what a treat you sound like. Don't bother telling you this or that because you think we are full of BS?
How about if you ask for advice you take what people tell you and actually listen? If you are so dead sure that you already know the... (read in full...)
Funky odor "downstairs" has me worried!
Q. my vagina really has been having this really funky embarrasing odor latley and I'm not sure why. I've never had sex before. is it infected?? how can I get the smelly odor away. also. I don't wanna tell my parents cuz I'm embarrassed ...
A. 1 September 2013: Go see your doctor. Do you have any other symptoms like burning sensation when you pee, or itchyness? You can get an infection from many things, not just sex. Too much soap when washing, too little washing, not wiping correctly after being to the ... (read in full...)
She forgot that I'd booked a trip for us and made other plans
Q. In March I booked a weekend away for me and my girlfriend, as a gift for her birthday. Now, she knew about it when I booked and apparently wrote it in her diary, the weekend away is next weekend...she's just told me she is now going out that weekend ...
A. 31 August 2013: "I am really upset that she forgot it was supposed to be really special. Should I confront her about it?"
Sounds to me like she didn't confront her. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has cheated on me several times. Is it acceptable for me to have an affair of my own to show her that there are consequences to her behaviour?
Q. My 28yo GF has been with me for 5 years. This is the best relationship either of us have ever had. Its not perfect but we enjoy each other and we are good for each other most of the time. My GF openly says she used to be a huge cheater. Then...
A. 31 August 2013: One more thing, on the topic of eating cake. Right now you think you sacrificed something while she got the best of both worlds. It just feels like that right now, because you are hurt. But you know what? You have the better end of the deal. You ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has cheated on me several times. Is it acceptable for me to have an affair of my own to show her that there are consequences to her behaviour?
Q. My 28yo GF has been with me for 5 years. This is the best relationship either of us have ever had. Its not perfect but we enjoy each other and we are good for each other most of the time. My GF openly says she used to be a huge cheater. Then...
A. 31 August 2013: Answer to your headline question: No. It is however expected that you show yourself enough respect to end things with someone who cheats on you, rather than give them an opportunity to cheat again and again. Once you've taken them back you really ... (read in full...)
She forgot that I'd booked a trip for us and made other plans
Q. In March I booked a weekend away for me and my girlfriend, as a gift for her birthday. Now, she knew about it when I booked and apparently wrote it in her diary, the weekend away is next weekend...she's just told me she is now going out that weekend ...
A. 31 August 2013: As far as I can read the OP didn't even tell her gf that she'd double booked herself.
Look, just now (10 minutes ago) my boyfriend called me to say he forgot his dad was in town (lives across the country). His dad had just called to ask if we wo... (read in full...)
She forgot that I'd booked a trip for us and made other plans
Q. In March I booked a weekend away for me and my girlfriend, as a gift for her birthday. Now, she knew about it when I booked and apparently wrote it in her diary, the weekend away is next weekend...she's just told me she is now going out that weekend ...
A. 31 August 2013: Your point isn't any more valid than mine, because they're both based on the same thing: personal experience. You have personal experience with your own capability to remember, and the experience you have with your son. I have a different ... (read in full...)
She forgot that I'd booked a trip for us and made other plans
Q. In March I booked a weekend away for me and my girlfriend, as a gift for her birthday. Now, she knew about it when I booked and apparently wrote it in her diary, the weekend away is next weekend...she's just told me she is now going out that weekend ...
A. 31 August 2013: Just one more thing... When you know your girlfriend/boyfriend cares about you, you should remind yourself of it whenever they do silly things like this that can hurt you. Of course it hurts to be forgotten about, whether you know they care about ... (read in full...)
She forgot that I'd booked a trip for us and made other plans
Q. In March I booked a weekend away for me and my girlfriend, as a gift for her birthday. Now, she knew about it when I booked and apparently wrote it in her diary, the weekend away is next weekend...she's just told me she is now going out that weekend ...
A. 31 August 2013: Cindy, don't tell me you haven't heard of parents who forget to pick their kid up from kinder garden, or school, or football practice. Because I've heard/seen that happen. And it's not because the kids are unimportant/should seek out other parents ... (read in full...)
He can't respect that I'm sensitive
Q. I'm posting here because I would appreciate someone's input on this. My boyfriend and I have been dating for several months now. I noticed this before but recently it's been bugging me a lot more. I'm pretty sensitive and emotional at tim...
A. 31 August 2013: He's not for you. You are sensitive, he is insensitive. That's not a good match. It can be good only if the differences balance each other out, and that also demands a good communication. Sure, good communication can be worked on and be built up ... (read in full...)
He's been the perfect boyfriend so why do I dread hearing from him?
Q. Im so confused. Ive been with my boyfriend for six years, in the beginning we had huge problems, he cheated a number of times and because he was my first love i forgave him. however for the last four years hes been the perfect boyfriend we've gotten ...
A. 31 August 2013: There's nothing wrong with you, but you got to open your eyes to the fact that you aren't interested in him any longer. The only reason you want to stay is because you "waited" for 6 years to get to the point where you are now. Now what does that ... (read in full...)
She forgot that I'd booked a trip for us and made other plans
Q. In March I booked a weekend away for me and my girlfriend, as a gift for her birthday. Now, she knew about it when I booked and apparently wrote it in her diary, the weekend away is next weekend...she's just told me she is now going out that weekend ...
A. 31 August 2013: If she's forgetful in general then why is it so hard to believe that she could forget this too? Forgetful people don't benefit from being reminded... if they are reminded of something they remember is just as you remind them, but an hour later it is ... (read in full...)
What do guys do to have clear skin?
Q. This a question mostly for guys who take care of their skin. What do you guys use or do to have a beautiful smooth skin? Everytime I see a guy with smooth skin I get jealous. I'm 21 and I sport nice and well groomed beard but I do look a bit olde...
A. 31 August 2013: Drink water, avoid sugar as much as you can. Get enough sleep (no playing ps3 until 4am). Cleans your face every morning, and evrning, using high quality products for your skin type. Invest in a good moisturizer. You can pop the zits, but clean it ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is pushing me to have a baby with him, but I don't feel for him.
Q. Hi everyone. I've been with my boyfriend for a little under 3 years (I'm 25 and he's 28) and things haven't been too good of late. I say of late, probably about a year..! From the moment we met he made it clear to me that settling down and sta...
A. 29 August 2013: He is not the one. Read your post over again in a day ir two, and you will see. Staying with him will be a mistake.
PS. You are not inexperienced just because you only had three partners. PPS. And, there is such a thing as great sex, but you have... (read in full...)
She would have left me for someone better than me, did I do the right thing ending things?
Q. It is after the breakup I initiated last week. I am writing trying to hear more from other people's point of view about my situation and decision. Almost two years of relationship with this girl, and I will call this girl H throughout this post. ...
A. 28 August 2013: I want to start by telling you that I hope you can answer this question yourself. Did you do the right thing? Because only you know what is right for you. The rest of this post is just my opinion, which reflects what is right for me. If I were in ... (read in full...)
How much blood can I expect from first time sex?
Q. Dear Cupid! I don't want to sound immature or stupid or anything like that because I am not, so don't make fun of this question, please. I want to sleep with my boyfriend in couple of weeks for the first time. I'm a virgin but he had a few ...
A. 28 August 2013: Uhm, no, porn is just fiction. They add blood there for show, that's not really how the real world is (although so many naive guys seem to believe in porn over what a real woman is like... but that's mainly the immature ones).
I didn't bleed at... (read in full...)
Is it normal to have fantasies about being anally raped?
Q. I'm just your normal, every day 17 year old girl. Sometimes I like to read erotic stories online. About two months ago, I stumbled upon this story where a teenage boy forced himself onto his sister, anally. I don't know why, but this turned me on ...
A. 28 February 2013: Yes, you're normal. It is totally normal to have sexual fantasies. Everyone has sexual fantasies. Not everyone fantasize about the same thing, we each have our preferences. But in general, people do like to think about non-realistic fantasies. It's ... (read in full...)
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These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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